In Sunlight Golden

Dying Light

2012-02-13T16:28:00.000-05:00

Dying Light

This doll came from my great uncle when he was stationed in South Korea. She's really old, but still really beautiful. I know you can't see much of her head...but her pink earring reflecting the light. xD I wanted to get the flowers on her dress, so that's what was focused upon...
The sun was also reflecting off a broken piece of glass that I discovered in a creek at a local park, back a summer or two. The light, the time, the broken glass...all were very beautiful. I couldn't help but race for my camera...please just excuse my horrible photography skills. >.<
It's so awesome that I got to watch the sunset yesterday. Yesterday was special. This whole weekend was special. So capturing the sunset at the closing of this weekend...was really nice.

Slowly smile as the light dies away
Don't ask questions, just stand alone
In the quiet moment at the end of the day
Take a deep breath, no words to condone

Or condemn the fact that the sun has gone
That another day of life is spent
The world is turning, you don't have long
And time is one which will not repent

Think about it for a moment, will you?

-A.K.-

How Far?

2012-02-11T23:37:00.001-05:00

Photo sent to me by a friend.

There's a whole world of possibilities.

-Argentia

Sunrise

2012-02-10T09:41:00.000-05:00

Flying open, the windows will break
The mountains are black against the rising sun
The room is completely silent and I'm wide awake
As the reflection of my face stares at me

Making a moment in time to remember
The slight creaking of the floor beneath my feet
I'm reminded that it's no longer December
The smell of coffee from downstairs

Early hour, the day is greeting me with light
This likewise untouched moment
As I give thanks for keeping me through the night
To the One who causes the sun to rise

The One who blesses me every time I breathe
I inhale yet again, blowing out slowly
This place is so warm, I strongly believe
I'm not just standing here alone

-Argentia

International Love Song

2012-02-07T19:23:00.000-05:00

And I really, really wanna be with you
I'm so very lonely without you
I can hardly breath when you're away
Without you I might sleep away the day

So you can come and see me in my dreams
You can come and see me in my dreams

-Holiday Cho

A.K.

Staring at Me

2012-02-07T19:00:00.000-05:00

Eyes.

Staring, glaring piercingly at me.

Worlds I don't know, secrets I'll never uncover. Thoughts, aspirations, questions, and stories. Stories...

This moment, a story is being told, but no words are being said.

Please, why can't I understand this soundless language? What is it particularly that is being said to me?

The colors compare and contrast like the different voices in my head.

What are you thinking?

-Argentia

February 29th

2012-02-02T13:14:00.000-05:00

I don't know what rumors, legends, suspicions, or folklore you may entertain concerning February 29th, but I don't really hold any. Leap Day's intrigue for me lies in the fact that most people have Leap Day/Leap Year dances during a February on Leap Year, and apparently, the girl is to ask the guy out to those dances.
Now, this seems like quite the weird reason to be intrigued, because I would never have the courage to ask a guy out, anyway...but, it makes a really good twist for a story...there was even a movie made about a girl proposing to a guy on Leap Day.
The only other reason I find it interesting was that I realized at around age 10 that it meant our clock was a little off and therefore we had to add a day to the year every four years. That disturbed me more than girls asking guys on dates so I didn't like to dwell on it as much. After all, it gave this feeling that the earth was orbiting improperly and everything was swinging out of alignment and no-one knew. That was a considerably worse feeling compared to knowing I could ask a guy out on Leap Year...if I ever even wanted to, which was, and still is, very unlikely.

It's only the second day of February, and my mind is on three things-flying, dreaming, and Peppero Day.
What's Pepero Day?
Why, Korean Valentine's Day, of course!!!
I'm thinking of making Valentine's Day really fun this year at my house by cooking sweets all day like we did last year. I thought if I ate another cookie I would die! Plus, did I ever mention my little brother makes the best Hershey kiss surprise cookies ever?
I am also (not) seriously considering harassing the males at my church by giving them all pepero or chocolate. *laughs* *sigh* I suppose I must keep my Asian traditions (crazy ideas) to myself.

Aaaaaand, I guess that's all I have to say in this post. >.<

No Comment.

2012-02-02T12:35:00.000-05:00

Wings.

What wings are you speaking of? What wings?

Where are your wings?

"How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings."-Psalm 36:7

"For the choir director; set to Al-tashheth. A Mikhtam of David, when he fled from Saul in the cave. Be gracious to me, O God, be gracious to me, For my soul takes refuge in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge Until destruction passes by." Psalm 57:1

"When you set your eyes on it, it is gone. For wealth certainly makes itself wings Like an eagle that flies toward the heavens." Proverbs 23:5

"But for you who fear My name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings; and you will go forth and skip about like calves from the stall. You will tread down the wicked, for they will be ashes under the soles of your feet on the day which I am preparing," says the LORD of hosts. Malachi 4:2,3

"Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary." Isaiah 40:31

Wings. Don't speak, I don't want to know.

-Argentia

January...

2012-01-31T23:17:00.002-05:00

It's the last day of January. I'm beginning to regret the way I wished it away these past few weeks. I'm becoming so caught up in all of the tense, harsher things of life, that I'm forgetting the little things that I used to enjoy so much.
I'm wishing the days and months away as fast as I can. I'm reading all of the schoolbooks and working hard in everything I do, and I'm really, honestly, trying in a lot of things. Don't say 'try' isn't good enough. It very much is.
January has been a very good month. I did three weeks of school, and I read three books. I found some great music, I spent two nights at a friend's house and then we had a friend over at ours. I thought about a lot of things in the future, and I just want to keep going. Even though I'm sort-of at a standstill as to what I'm going to do next, I'm trying to be positive about it. ^^

Even if it seems as if there isn't a single person out there who knows your sadness, your loneliness, your fear; I will comfort you, I will hold your hand and I will protect you with all the strength I have.

(Lleigh Sani to Kadri Hasenkamp, from my NaNoWriMo Novel)

-Argentia Krystofel

Complete!

2012-01-11T21:04:00.001-05:00

Title: Searching for You
Medium: Graphite
Time (start to finish): 1hr

The t-shirt has frustrated me slightly. It makes him look muscular and broad (maybe it's the angle), when it's really just the baggy t-shirt filling with the wind. The model probably only weighs 120 pounds at a height of maybe 5'6"?

-Argentia

Here Just Barely

2012-01-10T11:46:00.000-05:00

The ideas swirl throughout my mind. One old, one new, all perfect. But all are too much for me in this moment. Ah, the creative bursts of color; the different words that come to me, each tantalizingly beautiful, each just perfect to describe the surroundings.

But time hates me. So I can't write them all out. No matter how much I feel I need them. I can't put them on paper...not quite yet.

-Argentia

Memory

2012-01-08T19:40:00.000-05:00

Whenever I remember the lost time
The sun shined so brightly
Like a stained glass, broken memory
The rays of warmth and light

I stopped writing this forgotten poem
Because I was afraid
But I can't stop, this place I call 'home'
Must be filled with words

Held in the arms of one like a fortress
A familiar face smiles at me
Laughing, crying, but never loving less
I can't forget that day

You whispered a prayer with me
In the moment when my held-back tears fell
Even though you didn't believe
Any good would come from those times

The hours late into the night, spent talking
The things I will never understand
Every time I think of it, I keep walking
Measuring up to standards

People everywhere, crying deep inside
They're calling to me, silently
Gazes that always have something to hide
Nothing new under the sun, vanity

Faces burning in the back of my mind
Hands I've held, voices I've memorized
The colors were so vivid when the sun shined
Those times when I had no fear at all

And then I close my eyes, and I sigh
What will be made of this?
The times I spend alone, staring at the sky
Making faint wishes on the brightest stars

Indeed, the light catches, reflected in the soul
A light I feel I can't see from anywhere
A smile is piercingly clear, but I keep forgetting
The reason that I decided to come here

My memory is of a quiet, rainy day
A book in my hand, music in my ears
As I carefully pondered what I would say
Ah, it's been so many years

-Argentia

New Sketch+Playing with my Webcam

2012-01-05T22:18:00.001-05:00

Yes, I finally embarked upon that New Year's Resolution of a drawing once a week. Or a sketch. Or just anything that includes me putting something beautiful and unique in my sketchbook.
Now, though this was just a sketch...it's beautiful and unique to me. And, pardon for not having the hair poking out the back of his cap shaded in yet. I'm not exactly the type for remembering that before taking pictures...
Anyway, yes. I titled this 'Searching for You', because it seems almost as if he's looking for someone. I still need to add in some stuff, shade a few things...maybe tomorrow.

And, then, I wanted to play with my webcam in my mom's hat. And my pajamas. :P

Tomorrow, I'll hopefully get a few pictures of the hats&gloves I got today. They.are.awesome. I got two hats, two gloves...and a journal, which I actually will post here right now.

Isn't it just BEAUTIFUL? I love it so much. ^.^ Plus, it has a bit of a favorite verse-'all things work together for the good-' on the front, and then it cuts off. And then this is written on the front as well-'what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will give us later', which just reminded me of something special.
Inside this verse is written-'May God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord show you His kindness and mercy and give you great peace of heart and mind.' 1 Timothy 1:2

Aaaaand, of course, I had to play with the webcam a little...XD

-Argentia Krystofel

2012 is coming...

2011-12-31T23:45:00.002-05:00

Someways, it comes with a great shout, a screaming of voices. Someways, it comes with quiet sadness, tears falling in silence.
But for me, it usually comes slowly, quietly, in the cold night, creeping in. I neither shout, nor cry. I smile, maybe. But it's always in that moment, when I neither feel regret nor great joy, that the New Year comes.

I can't describe it.

Goodbye, 2011; it's been a good year.

Hello, 2012; I'm looking forward to seeing what you bring.

-Argentia

Well, there you go...

2011-12-31T23:00:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here, staring at the mug on my right. It was full of warm, steaming hot chocolate a minute ago, and I'm missing it.

I need to summarize this year at least somehow, but I can't just condense it that quickly. It was too full of events. It was too spectacular.

I've been watching the most recent episode of my current escapade of entertainment after a whole day spent cleaning my room. It looked absolutely awful and now looks much better (and feels better, too)-plus, Mom and I have decided it's time to change the curtains from the flowery ones they are now to ones that go better with the rest of the room! Yes!
I'm worn out, to say the least. The time spent alone in my room made me think.
As has been shown in the past, sometimes, this isn't too good for me. But lately, I haven't been doing enough of it.
Last night, I realized that I had been putting off something that needed to get done. Someone has sent me something, and I need to write to them. I've been wasting time and making up excuses; laughing and shrugging it off. But really, I've just been afraid...and that isn't a good reason to put something off.
So that's my first New Year's resolution (other than making good grades, cutting back on computer stuff, and reading more)-say what needs to be said.

At any rate. 2011 needs to be addressed here. So, without further ado...

It started out...somehow. I don't really remember what happened on the first of January last year. I do remember how the year ended-dancing with my family in our kitchen. We just had a good time for the sake of it. ^.^ It was awesome.
A lot of things happened after that. A lot of things that have changed the way I look at things.
Life is incredibly more...exciting? that in was before! Things have just become so bright and vivid to me now. Through the sadness and the happiness this year, things have just...changed so much for the better. And I'm really satisfied with it. I've met people. Lots of people, and most of them were very inspirational to me.

Some of the phenomenal things that happened can't be mentioned here. But I can name a few-
Reading the Westmark Trilogy this summer/discovering Lloyd Alexander
Having my first taste of seaweed(it's great, you should try it)
Learning 'The Musician's Song/Allen Walker's theme' on piano
Spending the whole week at Conference rather than just a few days
Talking on the phone past midnight (yes...)
Rearranging my room
Drinking a milkshake while sitting in our front yard on a pleasant summer day...
Driving down the road singing my favorite song in the middle of August
Writing in NaNoWriMo!
And there's just so much more. :)

Well, going on to bed now. There should be a post that comes out automatically later...we'll see if that works. ^.^

-Argentia

I'm Dreaming Tonight...

2011-12-30T10:35:00.000-05:00

I do begin to wonder quietly to myself right now...
I try not to mention it aloud
But it's bothering me so, without a doubt
I'm left here asking questions in the back of my mind

Nothing can even explain this feeling
Words cannot measure up
I don't even know what it is
I don't quite know what I'm dealing with

I'm seeing those hazy images in my mind
Made alive as soon as I closed my eyes
The words that were said, I hear them
I keep convincing myself otherwise...

The sun rising early, the palest glow
The dreams I was sharing so carelessly
Glorious colors are fading to gray now
Places in the back of my mind, and lastly

Streetlights, softly warm and bright
I've always loved them more than anything
I would go out just to see them tonight
Just to dream about tomorrow

-Argentia

Fix You

2011-12-28T13:40:00.000-05:00

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

This song is just beautiful. Beautiful, but sad. Why is it sad? Because though 'I can try to fix you', the 'I' here will never succeed. He will never 'fix' the broken individual he is singing to. Only God can do that. Only He can come and take someone's stone cold heart and make it into a heart of flesh. Only He can turn that person to Him and make them a new man. Only He can 'fix' a broken person.
I like to take this song and sometimes when I'm feeling down, I change the lyrics to 'And I will fix you'; because that is exactly what He will do. Rather than thinking of it in a sense of relying on another sinful man to guide me out of the dark tunnel, and to make me into a whole person, I rely upon God to do this.

The first two lines of this song also remind me of people. Not just a particular individual or individuals, but just people. They're all like this-we've all gotten what we wanted but not what we needed at some point or another, and we've all lost something (or someone) that we can't replace.

Just a lot of stuff to think on...

-Argentia

Christmas Day!

2011-12-27T11:09:00.000-05:00

Well, my Christmas Day went much like my Christmas Eve-church in the morning with an excellent sermon, then time spent with friends giving the few gifts that didn't get delivered the day before, then off to my grandparent's house.
There, we had an absolutely fantastic dinner and a lovely evening spent lazing around after opening gifts.
I had really...odd dreams that night. >.<
Then, I spent all of Monday either reading or writing on my computer (no internet access...ugh...)
I came home to find some not-so-nice stuff had erupted for a friend-without mentioning names, I ask that you keep the whole family in prayer that they would be safe.
So I talked to her for a long, long time. Before crashing into bed, I wrote in my journal for a long while, but, my writing was not Christmas-related, actually. I have the nasty habit of never writing about what actually has happened, or what is relevant, or what is really something anyone else would probably be mentioning.
This morning I woke up totally thankful...for a lot of things. xD
I read my Bible first. Nearly all of the last three chapters of Job. Then I delved into my last entry to see *exactly* what I had written whilst sleep-deprived and somewhat confusilated.
Sometimes, I wonder if I even have all of my brain cells...or something. >.>

Aaaaat any rate, I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas, and that the festivities will continue till Epiphany. We try to celebrate the 12 days of Christmas, but...I'm not sure if that will happen this year or not. xD

-Argent

Christmas Eve...

2011-12-24T18:06:00.001-05:00

Hello, everyone!!! I am just taking a break from all of the festivities to post here and say that today was AWESOME! :) I had a lovely time at my church with all of my dear friends, some old, some new, all loved very, very much, and have now opened all of my gifts and stared at all of them for forever and felt oh-so-special. ^///^
I am, right now, taking sips of caramel hot chocolate with whipped cream on top out of a mug I received, while reading a book I received, while using the wireless mouse my mother gave me!!!! You people are crazy with giving gifts!!! O.o :P No, seriously, thanks EVERYONE. Everything you give me is much appreciated, even if it's just a smile when I'm down or a smack when I'm being stupid, or a hug when we're both either sad or happy. :) I love you people. (and, no, Hannah...those socks aren't keeping me warm quite yet, but they definitely will be eventually...when I get up the courage to take them out of the back, the irresistibly cute things!)

I hope everyone is having a good Christmas Eve (or Christmas morning...depends upon where you are, folks!) and I hope you remember what a gift God gave when He sent His Son to earth, born in a lowly manger, to live the life of a man and finally die upon the cross to save us from our sins. I hope you remember what a sacrifice that truly was, for the great God of all creation, the King of kings and Lord of lords, to come and live amongst us, and die for us. Please, remember to keep thanking Him for this wonderful gift!!! People so often say-yes, I realize Jesus is the reason for the season. But do they really, really, really believe this? Sometimes, I have to keep myself in check when I zone out during church or don't stop to thank Him for His many blessings.

Just a quick update to let you know I am having a GREAT Christmas and I hope you are, too, whoever and wherever you are!!! :)

-Argentia

P.S. Disappearing as I head down to grandparent's house tomorrow for Christmas Day...and probably spending the night. ^.^

Characters Whom I Love...

2011-12-20T22:21:00.001-05:00

You're great. When I get lonely, I open up either Lineage, or my NaNo, and there you are. Waiting for me. I can read over you, or write a little more, and then sometimes find some poor, hopeless individual to ramble on and on about you guys to.
My characters in my NaNo are terribly special to me. They went through November with me- took rants, one night when I practically beat the keyboard to oblivion in frustration, and the awful tendency of mine to make the typo of writing heard as heart.
They're actually probably not my best. My favorite characters to write are males, but I have the creeping, sneaking, awful feeling that I am terrible at it in the same way that some people think they can sing but are totally tone-deaf. >.<
Valentijn is just so quiet, and Riagan isn't. I have to switch between the two and wow, is it difficult, but worth it. I'm learning more and more about who Riagan really is, and it's amazing and exciting at the same time!
I don't know if I'll ever finish writing the novel I've cooked up here, but if I do, it's going to be a lot of fun.

So, today has been a day for dark poems and writing; in other words, it was sorta rough. I pulled up the NaNo and though still rather typo and error ridden, with many a redundant moment and some things that just don't make sense, I have this appreciation for the writing that went on during that time. It was a great month, great happiness, a few hardships, lack of sleep, mood-swings, and all. I feel so overwhelmed by that November that I can barely describe it all!
Since it's getting late, I probably need to go. But I had to ramble just a little about November even though December is nearly over. December has been...interesting. Quiet, but interesting. I haven't disliked it, I just can't understand it. :P

-Argentia Krystofel

Cold

2011-12-20T19:00:00.000-05:00

Take a deep breath of the icy cold air, then watch it fog as you exhale. Your confused thoughts begin to settle as you stare up at the night sky; stars dimmed by the bright city lights, yet you know they are there. Peer up at the sky and try hard to see one peeking out from the immense blackness.
The city has not yet quieted, even at this hour of the night, and you wish your coat were just a little warmer. You shove your gloved hands tighter into your pockets, but it does no good, they're already as warm as they're going to get.
You're as warm as you're going to get.
Yet your heart is still so cold.

You take steps forward, trying to rid the thoughts that come charging into your mind, but it does no good.

Your heart is cold.
Cold as the freezing night.
And you can't decide if you like it that way, or not.

-Argentia

Short Story (Character Study)

2011-12-16T15:00:00.001-05:00

Been terribly obsessed with writing these little short stories lately to study different character types. I've already got one half-written about the mysterious character K. He's really not all that mysterious, lol.

The male character's hobby is cars. Fast cars. Driving fast cars fast. >.<

It's so choppy, but he's a choppy sort-of guy, so... :P

The female character was used as a 'medium' so to speak. She's just there for her opinions on the personality of the driver is the real focus here.

She grabbed the seat tightly. As expected, he drove fast. She kept glancing quickly at the speedometer and then at the cars around, making sure he wasn't about to hit someone. Taking a few deep breaths, she tried to pay attention to his incessant chatter.

“He's probably at his studio. I'd say he's in the middle of something, though I can't say what that might be, and he probably doesn't want to talk. Also, he might not want me to tell you this, so don't mention it, but he's on a lower than usual dosage of his anxiolytic, so he might be more hyper and a tad irritable, though there's normally no noticeable outward change in him.”

She went through that answer a couple of times, wondering if this fast-paced, intense risk taker even noticed enough of the deep-thinking, reclusive interior designer to know what his mood really was.

They veered to the right suddenly, him biting his lip, yet grinning as he maneuvered traffic.

“As I was saying, stupid drivers, there's probably some reason he's not been answering his phone for the past two days. If he got dumped by his girlfriend I'll be really surprised, though it might be possible...you sure you wanna stop by?”

She took a deep breath, “Well, if I don't die getting there.... How do you feel about it?”

“Me? I don't care what mood he's in. He's himself.” He flashed her a smile, and she returned it weakly, deciding that staring at her hands was the only way to keep from telling him how he was supposed to drive a car, and she knew that wasn't something he would take lightly.

His ringed fingers caught the light, glittering as the gripped the steering wheel tightly.

“You should really try getting to know people here in LA,” he announced, “other than us. We're K's friends, and as you noticed, he's pretty weird. It takes one to know one, sooooo...” He shrugged, “you might be dealing with a few that should be admitted,” He paused, “I can get out of hand sometimes, too, you know.” He winked, his dark eyes sparkling with mischief.

She shrugged, giving him an incredulous glance.

“I doubt you can be troublesome enough that you'll bother me. Besides, I've only been here for a week and I'm not going to university here, so it's a little hard to make any acquaintances anywhere other than K's studio and my part time job at the restaurant down the street. Since K only has two other employees, that leaves me a little lost there, and at my job, well, there's only a few people who don't act super-snobby with me, so...”

“Have you thought about going to a few parties? Surely you've been invited to some.”

“Not a party person...”

“Blind dates are easy ways to meet people, too...”

She shot him a doubtful look. He grinned, lifting his fingers on the wheel as he shrugged, rings glaring in the sunlight, “I told you I was hard to handle, don't look at me like that.”

At that she couldn't help but let a chuckle escape her lips.

And that's all! I'm starting to wish my one story character, Riagan, was just a tad more like this guy. He's very easy to write with his impulsive nature, wherein Riagan is not. Riagan's impulsiveness just hasn't worked.

Oh, well, I guess it's not too late to work with the character and make peace with him. We've been at war since about November 5th, hahahaha.

Fighting with fictional characters,

-Argentia

Last year today...

2011-12-12T12:13:00.000-05:00

Crystal clear skies
And pale, hollow sunlight

It's December 12th...I'm sitting in front of my computer with a cup of chai tea, sipping it lazily, watching a good show that finally has English subtitles.
I'm doing nothing in particular as I dream of the snow that I wish would fall before Christmas. It rarely ever does; I only remember one truly white Christmas in this town.
I'm wasting time by being envious of people elsewhere who have had it snow already. Our seasons are somewhat more unpredictable.
It was around this time a year ago that some friends came to our house to make truffles; my mom's special Christmas treats that she somehow manages to get talked into doing at least once a year. Normally, it's a result of me, being the chocoholic that I am. But on this particular day, I wasn't looking forward to it at all. I was quite distraught, with all of my shyness, as to what exactly I was going to talk about with these people.
I guess it's the way the sunlight streams into our kitchen this afternoon that makes me think of it. I remember everything so clearly, even though it was a year ago! It was a really interesting day.
I can't say the same for today. Though I feel like it's a day where I should be up, going places, doing things, I feel like staying right here and not doing anything. I finished the episode. Now I've gone on to writing a post and editing a novel.
I haven't touched the novel I wrote last year. I probably need to.
I was watching D.Gray-man this time last year. I sort-of want to go watch D.Gray-man again, just because I can. XD Right now, I'm watching a lot of K-dramas, though, and hoping to finish Durarara!! at some point.
I'm surprised that last year I was so oblivious to what was going on around me, and that this year things are so much different. ^.^;
I'll probably go do laundry later and clean my room...which has returned to it's passtime of looking like a dump. >.>

*sigh* It's an apathetic Monday.

-Argentia

"We also cry..."

2011-12-11T21:41:00.000-05:00

"We also cry once in a while, and there are also people that think that our tears and feelings are all lies, but at these times I can really tell if these tears are real or fake."

-Argentia

7 Months Ago

2011-12-10T00:17:00.000-05:00

I still watch the same films
And I still read books of the same genres
I still have the same whims
And a strange fascination with commas

But my thoughts are somewhere beyond
It's farther than you would have imagined
But close to me as if joined by a great bond
A world that you would never have fathomed

You're probably thinking all of these things
That don't apply to me right now
But I am thinking about you, though sadness it brings
And I am simply wondering exactly how

You perceive me now; I guess I shouldn't worry
Insignificant, after all, I speak no more
Neither do I hear, see, or care, so you won't feel sorry
But they don't hear me, either, I know for sure

My voice is a quiet whisper among the masses
Do you think we could be friends now?
Now that I don't gaze through tinted glasses
Now that I see the whole picture in front

I've been thinking of you a lot today
And yesterday, and the day before that, it's always here
The thoughts of you and your funny way
Of making me feel frustrated yet happy whenever you were near

For a while there, I wanted you to know
The pain in someone else's eyes
Drove me to changing into this, just to show
Those silent moments I asked "who cries?"

The summer days were warm and humid
It rained nearly all the time, as if the sky knew
The way that we had all been somehow wounded
By the days that had worn us through

But by now, I'm doing okay, actually, better
I might have changed just a little
As I sit here, I compose a short, simple letter
And you can see into my world now.

The time since the last picture of you and I
Has been nearly filled, yet I worry
And I still miss you a little, and I ask why
You came into my life and left just as quickly?

I don't want to be left without words.

-Argentia

Then I thought about it...

2011-12-08T16:52:00.002-05:00

"...I’ve been nervous and worried under the pressure that I had to please people.”

It happens to be the first day in a while that I can connect my thoughts enough to really *understand* what sentences and situations actually mean to me, rather than just sort-of nodding my head and going on, so please expect more writing. >.< I've got about fifteen drafts of blog posts that I haven't published yet haven't deleted, and I'm not sure why, but maybe they will eventually see the light of day. I still feel a bit confused when I try to sit down and write, and focusing is hard, but, I'm doing much better compared to last Wednesday. What's better, I can breathe! XD
The above sentence in italics inspired the thoughts that follow.

..............................

Although I am tempted to expect a person who is older than me to immediately be able to take care of themselves and to understand what their intentions, motivations, aspirations and emotions are, I'm slowly starting to realize that sometimes, adults don't always realize what they want, either. It's not just a thing that we 'teenagers' 'young adults' or whatever, who are stuck in between, suffer from. Adults are also sometimes trying to figure out what they want and who they are. I'm not the type for philosophy, so I won't go on and on about searching for self worth or anything like that (I'm a Christian, so my self-worth and the point of my life is found in Christ-therefore, I don't even worry about those things), but there are times when a person is just confused about everything, including themselves.

....................................................

I am inspired to write thoughts upon sentences deemed insignificant by most.
To me, that one statement means so much, because for one thing, I relate to it so well.^.^

Something else I care to write, but I'm saving it for a few hours...I have lots to do. T.T

-Argentia Krystofel

Quiet Stargazing

2011-12-02T23:01:00.000-05:00

It's quiet, I feel distant
Deep inside, everything is so loud
But out here, in this instant
It's completely silent, 'cause no ones around

I'm completely alone, watching stars fall
My eyes trace them
Burning in the back of my mind after all
Even after they're gone

I suppose I can't fight it anymore, cause it's here
The site in front of me, the bright lights
The person I was before now is no where near
It's something completely different

Oh, the stars are shining in the dark, deep sky
Lit every night with the sun's last breaths
They shine bravely until morning is nigh
When the sun takes back what it gave

They're beautiful all the same,
God must have known I would like them
Just as when he gave you a name
He knew that I would whisper it in my prayers

So often there is the question of why
Or what exactly I did at what time
I question it all, and then defeated, sigh
It's not my place to do that

It seems somewhat strange, somewhat crazy
Like I'm half of something wonderful
And then half of the reality that is growing hazy
As I blink in the cold, dry, winter air

I wrap my arms tighter about myself
And I look upwards to the heavens
Searching for the silver pieces that show the King's wealth
Cascading thoughts surround me

Little first moment; when was it?
I actually have no idea
You could search forever, yes, never quit
I certainly have done that

And I still can't tell you when
I first saw a star in the sky
And I still can't tell you when
I imagined I'd be where I am

And I still can't tell you when
I first saw the night's darkness
And I still can't tell you when
I'll understand any of this

Writing helps me get stuff off of my mind. I'm amazed if this even makes any sense, considering how I can't really write or make sense of anything concerning letter right now....or words...
They don't seem to form quite right. And even if they do (like they are right now), I spend a lot of time back-tracking to *just makes sure* I got ever last one in the right place.
Because it's either really funny or a real pain when you start typing/writing like English is your second language.

*crazy part of my brain* It is, it is!!! Japanese was your first language! You just don't know it!!!

-Argent

(Actually, the chances are higher that *German* would be my first language, since my Dad speaks fluent German, but...I'm pretty darn sure it isn't. It would never explain my grammatical issues, since German has similar grammar to English)

Poem, My Newest Endeavor, and NaNo

2011-12-01T13:45:00.000-05:00

On funny note this picture reminds me of my times spent in Florida on vacation in January several years ago. It was fun, I can't say I miss it too much until I saw this picture. The only difference...I think this was taken in L.A. I wish my friends in Cali weren't total nut cases or I'd go over and visit sometime. XD

Place I cannot name

People I don't always know

I'm living here, you're living there

I'm part of a country, of a world of people

It's a feeling in a place of world renown.

Don't be so distant, vague or lukewarm

Do you feel dead inside?

Faces en mass, always grim

Never will I find the courage here

The here-and-now of this world

I'm part of a place, a group I mustn't leave

It's the depth of my soul that's calling out

Don't be so lost, so dark, so hopeless

Do you feel dead inside?

Does the scorn hurt or blind or make you reconsider?

Does it make you wish you were here?

It's...a strange poem. I was mostly rather confused at the moment when I wrote it.

My newest endeavor-To get well. I've got a sinus infection, and I'm warning you-You don't ever want one. >.< Ahem, actually, I have three newest endeavors.

The first is to get over my sinus infection.

The second is to actually start learning how to write/read Japanese. Since I've got books for it, I might as well start. But I want to do it with...dedication. With a schedule.

The third is to become more daring. More willing to do whatever I must to do whatever I want to do. I can't do things when I'm scared to death to take risks and make mistakes. Maybe I can be afraid, but I need to be willing to take risks, to spite my fear.

As to Nano-Yeah, I didn't make it this year. When you feel like your sinuses are going to explode and you're running a (low-grade) fever with chills, you won't feel like cranking out 3000 words, either. Still, I feel sad about it because, honestly, I could have done it today. The antibiotics, the sinus rinse, the Nasonex and the lemonade (to drink, not to put in my nose. :P) have made this entire day WAY better than yesterday. With that in mind, I feel bad because NaNo didn't last a day longer. I feel bad that the last day of November, my favorite month, and a good friend's birthday, was spent shirking duties and running amuck trying to get stuff to make me better and to write notes to people I don't know. I don't really *regret* doing those things...I just wish the day had been at least...10 hours longer? :P

At any rate, my novel is no where near complete, and I still have to write a lot of scenes, but for now I want to edit, because I know what I wrote in the latter part of this month is absolute crap so I need to fix it.

Besides.

My male characters talk too much and act like girls, so...ummm...I need to really do something about that.

The good news is I started out well, I still think I started out well, and I know that with that I can edit and make this amazing! ^.^

Onward to make up for two days of missed History, Bible, Science, Math, and Grammar, and three missed days of Geography. I get the feeling I'll be doing school on Saturday...don't you?

-Argent

Valentijn Janson [Pictures]

2011-11-22T21:17:00.001-05:00

The subject used is 'Saga' from 'Alice Nine', a Japanese VisualKei group. I do not recommend searching for him unless you feel you absolutely need to see pictures of a guy with insane makeup and hair who quite frankly I thought was a girl. >.>
These are the only two pictures that appear at least somewhat manly. Keep in mind my character is a teen...so the young face works.

And...
Does anyone else think this man looks part Caucasian? At least a little?!

Sweet Sixteen

2011-11-18T12:48:00.001-05:00

Cliche title. XD

So, yesterday was my 16th birthday. I made my favorite cinnamon muffins for breakfast, and though made with oat flour they surprisingly didn't all fall apart.
I received so many Facebook posts of Happy Birthday that I just had to smile practically the whole day! ^.^ I received three very sweet cards, and some great little gifts (including noise-reducing earbuds from my dad-ISTJ's and ISFJ's think a like, no? Kill those noises!). Mom has made me an amazing chocolate cheesecake that I'm going to get to enjoy in a little bit once she's done the ganache (yes, she's amazing like that), and tomorrow, Dad and I get to go up to Blacksburg to the Oasis food store and I'm going to pick up a load of Japanese, Korean, and Chinese stuff, along with maybe some European things (Oasis doesn't carry much European food...gotta go to Winston-Salem or Charlottesville for that). I'd say my birthday is going to last practically the whole weekend!
So, aside from being very happy and very excited about Saturday, I don't feel any change. >.< Unlike last year, when I was thinking 'Oh, yes, I'm definitely fifteen now', this year I haven't thought anything like that. I guess compared to last year I feel different. Actually, yes, comparatively, I do feel much different. Leading me to believe being sixteen is a slow change.
Still, it feels weird to say-I'm sixteen.
Because, honestly, I watched all my other friends who were sixteen, and I thought they were really cool. So it makes me nervous to think that kids that are younger than me are watching me like I watched my sixteen-year-old friends.

I'm going to be a horrible example, lol.

-Argentia Krystofel

He Dreams Through the Noise...

2011-11-16T21:23:00.000-05:00

I see you standing in the terminal
You're holding your arms that certain way
And you're looking about, confused,
And I can't seem to fight the feeling to look away

He's looking at me, head on, eyes so bright
I feel like this moment means absolutely nothing
But somehow, I don't care, because it's all in sight
Crazy with dreams, thoughts truly are something

The lights were bright and beautiful
The voices were something I will never forget
The faces were smiling and youthful
But there was a pair of eyes still filled with regret

Maybe it wasn't regret, more at maturity
So I'm left breathless,
He dreams through the noise, ah, so freely
And leaves me speechless

Who are you, a stranger in the back of my mind?
Dark curtains drawn by the passage of time
The words mean everything and nothing, because you're blind
Why am I still writing this, this rant of mine?

Because it's just a small amount of time, say a year
That's all that's said to me,
All that I am expected to spend on this, dear
And I can't believe it, see

But then, there's reality, and people, and things
And there's the look on his face that strikes me
So I'm discontent with the evening and the starlight it brings
This strange discussion, this time isn't free.

Inspired by Vienna Teng's song 'Recessional'.

Lyrics-

It's so beautiful here, she says,
This moment now, this moment now.
And I never thought I would find her here,
Flannel and satin, my four walls transformed.

She's looking at me, straight to center,
No room at all for any other thought.
And I know I don't want this,
Oh, I swear I don't want this,
There's a reason I don't want this,
But I forgot.

In the terminal, she sleeps on my shoulder,
Hair falling forward, mouth all askew.
Fluorescent announcements beat their wings overhead:
Passengers missing, we're looking for you.

And she dreams through the noise, her weight against me,
Face pressed into the corduroy grooves.
Maybe it means nothing,
Maybe it means nothing,
Maybe it means nothing,
But I'm afraid to move.

And the words, they're everything and nothing.
I want to search for her in the offhand remarks:
Who are you, taking coffee no sugar?
Who are you, echoing street signs?
Who are you, the stranger in the shell of a lover,
Dark curtains drawn by the passage of time?
Oh words, like rain, how sweet the sound.

Well anyway, she says, I'll see you around

There is so much I associate this song with. So much. Somewhat, the song holds a dreamlike state with me; the lyrics almost seem to just bring images floating through my head.
It's so amazing.

-Argent (Also, YAY for using poetry in my novel. XD)

MC #3

2011-11-16T18:13:00.000-05:00

M(ain)C(haracter)#3 Because he's technically number 3 but number 2 isn't done yet so I'm...posting anyway.

Name: Kadri Hasenkamp

Age:16

Hair color: Blonde/golden brownish, short.

Eye color: Soft, light brown.

Height: 5'7"-small build.

Definitely how he would be imagined in an anime perspective. Neither of these pictures are the right clothing, but oh, well.

Aaaaand, the closest I could find to the look I wanted Kadri to have. Taking away the coat and leaving just the scarf and the hair, earrings, et cetera, we have Kadri. I was searching for brunette hairstyles to use as a character picture for Valentijn and came upon this young man's picture...but he was more blonde/super light brown to me. >.<

Voice: Higher; still cracks on occasion. Smooth tenor voice when he sings. Can sing but doesn't like to in front of other people.

Certain points of Personality: loves people and is generally aware of other's feelings; desires to be helpful and understanding and wants the best of others...most of the time. Get's somewhat emotional, sharp, or moody when he's stressed out. He hates being alone, and can have very dark thoughts when he's left to himself for too long. Generally appears to be very friendly, outgoing, and supportive, but is very wary of trusting people with his inner thoughts and feelings. He behaves like a chameleon with others in conversation; picking up the topics they want to talk about and simply commenting on their opinions rather than expressing his own. Needs positive feedback from other people about his writing. Can't look at something from a logical or impersonal perspective without feeling just a little guilty.

Can be somewhat manipulative but in a strange way; aka, he's very good at persuading someone into doing what he wants them to do, for their own good, or what he thinks is their own good.

He also will use his people skills to manipulate if he feels he needs something that in reality he either doesn't need, or should just ask for up front.

Peculiarities: Constantly sweeping/blowing/flipping hair out of his eyes. Cooks really well. Has a fear of darkness; nyctophobia. Physically claustrophobic; doesn't like being in small spaces, or wearing tight, restricting clothing. Writes in his spare time. Doesn't like his room, house, or other people's being untidy or dirty.

Goal: Kadri seeks only to find a place for himself in this world. Broken, with his childhood dreams destroyed, he tends to find himself doing work in the illegal trading of goods to dictator-ruled countries in the Southern Continent, or guiding persons through the countries. He has also had dealings with many a network of revolutionaries, secret police, and bootleggers. He claims allegiance to no country; he was born in Korreliso but has traveled as far west as the Saralinsey Ocean and as far East as the Tono-ari River.

And that pretty much wraps up the guy I call the emotional one. *sigh* So dramatic...

-Argent

-Flickering Electric Lights-

2011-11-11T23:10:00.001-05:00

I whisper under my breath, minutes ticking by

The insanity burning behind those eyes

The voice in my ear and the way that people seem to try

To make everything make sense

It won't, but we want it to, so we're trying

We keep drifting from place to place

The time isn't on our side, it seems to be flying

But we haven't paid it any heed

There's some idiot singing Ke$ha on camera

I hate her songs but I'm listening

You're proposing some strange, new idea

I don't know about it but I nod

Yes, sure, whatever...it's always like this, isn't it?

I don't know what to say or do

People are always taking their time like this

Is it obvious that I don't want to hear?

An old song I used to listen to is playing in my head

Event's turn out badly before they happen

And I wonder if they'll just stay like that, but instead

You're saying things are going to change

Like always, I tend to debate truth and lie beyond what is healthy

The idiot stopped singing at last, but I press replay

There's an element of masochism in all of us, but this time it's not getting me

I can't let you get a hold of me, it's just not possible

There's a dragon blowing smoke in the back of my mind

An oriental icon, powerful and mysterious

And you don't care, which doesn't surprise me, people are blind

And I'm the one who's most deceived anyway

A smile's becoming more and more broken every time I see it

I can't think of what you say in this moment

Do you encourage, or do you let the pain run as it sees fit?

It's really just the two of us, gambling it away

So somewhat wasted, the time is over like it began

And I realize that I'm staring at a mess

A quiet thought enters my mind, but yet again

I swat it away before it becomes too much for me

Let me run away somewhere far off,

and then there won't be any more problems.

MC #1

2011-11-08T22:05:00.001-05:00

M(ain)C(haracter) #1

Valentijn Janson

Age 18
Hair color: Brown, long.
Eye color: Hazel (brown-green).
Height 5'8"

His hair is about this length and color. Maybe a bit more brown, but generally, just a normal color, and fine/thin like this, too. I still don't know what sort-of face to throw on the guy...*sigh* *nonchalant* we'll see. XD (And good grief this guy in the pic has a skinny neck...)

Voice: Not too deep, not too high. Just middle. Baritone singing voice. Speaks quietly but with an assertive tone.
Certain points of Personality: Does not beat around the bush-says what he needs to say. Likes to be told his work is well-done. Dislikes noise and overly chatty people. Is an avid reader. Intelligent and witty. Can be more laid-back with an occaisionally appearing silly side; only around close friends. Does not trust people quickly. Not easily guilt-tripped; sticks to what he's said he'll stick to.
Very much a rule-follower, quiet, yet generally friendly. Is not afraid to tell others his opinions. Is more shy about sharing his creative ideas/theoretical things. Dislikes fudging or long explanations of problems or issues. Not impressed by grandeur of any kind, unless it happens to be a whole room of books. Then maybe he'll be impressed.
Peculiarties: Does not like large crowds. Is not fond of sweets. Fear of heights. Rarely a 'good judge of character', meaning he doesn't get 'vibes' about people at all...normally. When he does get one he's normally 99% correct about it, surprising many.
Goal: This young Kashihan is on a journey; one that has so far stretched itself out into the perilous communistic country of Grenan. But what is he on the journey for? He's searching for his Kashihan bond, and apparently, he hasn't had his bond with him in many a year.

And that's Valentijn! ^.^

Distant

2011-11-06T20:19:00.000-05:00

Distant and very silent
As people go walking by
Distant and discontent
But I'm starting to ask, why?

Why be silent and why follow
Every rule that's set up
Why be distant, why swallow
Your words that I know are there?

I can nearly feel the cold air's nip
And see the starry black sky
I can touch your coat and feel it slip
Through my fingertips, and by and by

I'm starting to wonder again
Why are people far away?
I'm starting to ponder when
Or how long you'll act this way

So many poems today. Sort-of nice. I am in the mood that I can feel things in my hands...see things. Smell things. It's insane.
I'm actually sort-of liking the thoughtful mood I've slipped into. In fact, I'm growing to love it more every moment. It's awesome.
A lot of crazy stuff has happened this first week of November.
A...friend? Acquaintance? I don't know what to call him yet. Well, through the course of many events I've found he's a Christian, and recently he had some hard things happen...and he's grown closer to Christ through it. Exactly what I was praying for. It's kind-of amazing. (No, I do not believe it would be an issue with him that I just wrote that. He's practically told the whole world! XD)
Two people had birthdays...that was exciting, and also really awesome. I love celebrating people's birthdays, even if I barely know them!
I wrote 10,000 words in a novel. A crappy, not-so-amazing novel, but a novel. And I promise, I won't abandon ship!
I learned I need to pray before I make decisions. >.<
I am slowly getting over the third cold/sickness I've had this year. Not counting the sickness at the beach...so I'm hoping this will be the last one this year. Haha
I...wrote four poems. And took pictures on two walks. ^///^
I walked to the store when it was dark. I feel like a grown-up now. :P Mom also promised she would show me how to use a credit card. Next steps-getting a job, a car, and a cellphone/trackphone. :P
I thought-my birthday is only 11 days away! And I keep getting excited about it.
And...I thought of Ireland. And I thought...I might actually like to go there someday.

Ahem.
I also want to go anywhere that anyone will take me. Canada, Scandinavia, Central Europe, Italy, Portugal, Japan, South Korea, China, Taiwan, Singapore...just anywhere that I can get to cheap. ^.^;

And, to confuse and baffle you, here is Matthew 17:20 in...guess what language?

가라사대 너희 믿음이 적은 연고니라 진실로 너희에게 이르노니 너희가 만일 믿음이 한 겨자씨만큼만 있으면 이 산을 명하여 여기서 저기로 옮기라 하여도 옮길 것이요 또 너희가 못할 것이 없으리라 Matthew 17:20

And He said to them, "Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.
Matthew 17:20 NAS

Continue having a great Sunday! (That is, unless you mentally or physically dwell in some timezone where it is Monday. :P ) And please continue having a good November! It's an amazing month. ;)

-Argentia Krystofel

That Moment...

2011-11-06T19:47:00.000-05:00

When you realize you can turn out more words in your novel when you start to do a self-rant than when you're actually writing about your characters.
Ahem.
Wasting my time writing things that I must delete from my wordcount is quite stupid, but I must admit I've practically done it all day. It's the 6th of November and I'm already rather frustrated. I have no idea what I plan on doing for the rest of the month, or if things get "harder" than they are right now, but oh, well. I'm hoping that maybe this is as hard as it will get.

So....I have no idea what I'm supposed to write about in this post except...a poem. I've been writing too many poems lately.

The sky is an open space of blue
With little white clouds like snow drifts
Dotting the sky; white ink splotches
It's chilly; the scattered leaves the wind lifts

Are flying up towards the sky
The sky that I stare at with wonder
I wish by dreams I could fly
And that I could lift the leaf you are under

I know that there are places I've never seen
And I wish I could taste the air
I wish I weren't standing here where I've been
And instead I am standing there

Right now, I want to be just a certain way
But I know my place and it's here
Maybe, I can see it in my dreams and someday
That chance will be more near

The leaves clatter on the nearly empty branches
Like little hands giving an applause
The sunlight, golden and bright, dances
Upon everything and for a moment, I pause

It's beautiful.

The Wind of November

2011-11-03T22:11:00.000-04:00

Blowing against my face gently
The wind whispered around me

I stared up at the gray, clouded sky
And I saw all I ever wanted to see

The world was quiet as I took a walk
I kicked at the dry leaves cluttered on the road

I felt like the whole world was huge,
And I felt as if I were bearing a very heavy load

The wind tossed the tiny dead leaves and flowers
The gentle wind, but somehow I began to think

Why the wind? Why the wind?
Whether it's a gentle breeze, or a great typhoon

It always manages to move something
Doesn't it, and it will move that something soon

Do you know where the wind that you love
Do you know where it comes from?

Why does it fill you with such breathlessness?
Gray skies, bare trees, heading home

I pulled my jacket closer, I took longer strides
I took it in with wonder

The air, cold, real, and yet numbing
The wind of November

The wind that I feel, that you've felt
The wind that moves you

The wind that fills you with emptyness
The wind from Who?

-Argentia

Rain

2011-11-03T21:50:00.001-04:00

It's raining
Raining here, raining there

It's pouring down the windowsill,
The tiny droplets like kamikaze flights

You know it well, the rain
Does it speak your heart sometimes?

It's raining
Raining on your shoulders,

Shadows make their flight
And fill your head with doubt as they go

It's raining
The swishing sound of cars outside

Writing in the night
As the rain patters on the roof; dark tears

It's raining
Nearly, you can hear the loneliness

That's hidden in the rain
That's evoked within us whenever it falls

The quietness we feel
When the rain is pittering, pattering, even roaring

But I don't know the answer to this
Or why the rain falls like it does

All I can say is the rain,
In it's quiet, yet moving way

Seems to seek an answer.

This is only the beginning...

2011-11-03T10:01:00.002-04:00

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28 (NAS)

-Argentia

In the Midnight Watches

2011-10-20T21:00:00.000-04:00

I'll be watching
On a dark December night
Till the sun does rise
On this weary, old world,

I'll be watching
As time seems to slip
Through my fingertips
And the second hand ticks

I'll be there
In the coldest hour
Though I don't know where
To meet you, dear

I will wait
As the winter air around me
And the stars and galaxies above me
Declare His glory

I'll be watching, yes,
As the Ancient of Days
Works in mysterious ways
That I do not understand

I'll be watching, yes,
Even if I am afraid
Even if you do not change
Even if you cower and run away.

I'll be praying, yes,
In the midnight watches
And the hours before dawn
Not only for this but because

He is so great and so mighty
I know I have been blessed
He is so loving and wonderful
He is God, our Savior, and He will do what he deems is best.

Time

2011-10-20T13:09:00.000-04:00

Time works in a strange way. It never stops; it gives no one a second chance. It almost seems to rule over all, though we must not forget Who rules over it. Some say time is evil, time is cruel, but is that really so?
God uses time for His glory. Why is it we are in the right place, at that very right moment, to hear what we need to, or see what we must? Why is it that things never seem to happen when they shouldn't'; they always happen right when they should?
Time may create barriers, but it also creates bonds. Just because of time doesn't mean that I don't feel attached to that last remnant of the past, and just because of time, it doesn't mean that I don't look expectantly towards the future, and the new people I may meet.
The barriers of time may be healthy, in their own right. Separation from one, due to time, is not always a bad thing. And as time passes, that separation sometimes goes away.
Yesterday, I was not free for this weekend. Now, you are not free, and I am, only due to the providential workings of our Lord. Perhaps it will work out and one day, we'll see behind it all, but for now, I am content to know that for some reason, each and every little thing happens.
It seems like just yesterday when the rain tasted a little salty. Tears were being cried somewhere, and what hurt the most was knowing who was crying those tears, and knowing that there was no way to comfort their unfathomable pain. It happened when it happened...and I'm thankful that it happened then. It was just the right thing, given the right time, for each of us, tied to the other. I don't even know why yet, but slowly, like the bloom of a winter rose, the events unfold to reveal a beatiful, brilliant picture, that with the care of time, will not fade away.
Everything we do swings upon the pendulum of time. The seasons, our days, and our moments. Our years, our lifespans...all is set in stone due to time.
So I try not to loath time. As the season passes into winter, I hope that the people dearest to me, the people on my heart and mind, won't loath the time, either. With so many friends and family at these points in their life that are called 'milestones', I cannot help but dwell upon time. Time has treated everyone well; whether at the moment we each realize it, does not matter.
Whether the numbers on the clock are changing, people are changing, and the environments they live in are changing, so that we cannot question the existence of it. Time isn't invisible; it shows in the slowly dying leaves, the nights coming on quicker and quicker, the temperatures dropping lower and lower. It shows in the eyes of my best friend, how changed and thoughtful they've become. It shows in the wrinkles on a face that smiled "too much" in youth. It shows in the children as they grow, slowly, but surely, into adults.
Time is almost overwhelming to me right now, and yet somehow, a delightful thing. I take comfort in knowing I'm not stuck where I am, rather, I am always continuing forward. Always forward. Never back.
I hope that we all respect the tool of time that God uses to mold us into what He wants us to be.

-Argentia Krystofel

Riagan Breen

2011-10-15T10:23:00.000-04:00

Definitely the right style. Haven't decided on the coloring yet. And I wish I could find a real model. I don't like envisioning everyone as anime characters! >.<

Kadri Hasenkamp

2011-10-15T00:08:00.000-04:00

Masaomi-kun is proving to be a good visual inspiration. This is roughly what I want Kadri to look like. (one down, two to go)

Autumn

2011-10-12T22:48:00.000-04:00

This will be extremely short, considering my hands are in a lot of pain and it's getting really late. I'm tired, I want to be up by 8, and...yeah.
So, my planning for NaNoWriMo is going...sort-of okay, I guess? I've decided to switch some stuff around (but not Valentijn...I like him right where he is!)
Ah. Yes. Guy #1 got a name. It's Valentijn (Val-ent-tiyen) or Valent, for short. Yes. It's a variant of Valentine, but I just needed a name that started with V. I don't know why. Likewise, Guy #2 needs a name that starts with R and Guy #3 needs a name that starts with K.
I have no idea why I'm doing that, but ANYWAY!
There was a point to this post and I'm trying to remember what it was. Oh, right. Fall is starting to feel very...present. It's not always *cold* per-se, but there's something about the breeze that is no longer soft and warm, but nippy, and carrying a slight chill. With fall beginning to really get here, I feel somewhat overwhelmed. There are a lot of things going on and just slightly at the end of the day I start to wonder if I'm still sane or not. For one, I don't think I'll be celebrating my birthday with friends over or anything this year. It's just too much hassle. For another, I feel very at a loss as to what to do about the upcoming Reformation Day event at a church nearby, because I am going to see all my old friends again.
Along with that, it's just...fall. And wow, it got here so fast. And I feel like...like I'm missing half of it or something. >.<

And that's all, because my hand is now protesting loudly at it's work-out. *goes to find ice*

-Argentia Krystofel.

NaNoWriMo-Character Designs, Issues, Etc...

2011-10-10T19:52:00.000-04:00

Alright...so, just a brief idea of what I'm TRYING to do for NaNoWriMo. ^.^
I know for very sure that I have 3 main characters. I also know for very sure that all three of these main characters are going to be male.
I don't know why that is, actually, except that I think my ability to write females is very lacking and I really don't want to deal with the stress of writing one.
Of these three guys, I want one to be rather quiet; sticks to himself, doesn't enjoy large crowds, and tends to not open up very easily. He doesn't really have much to hide, but he doesn't prefer sharing unless specifically asked to. It just doesn't cross his mind to do so on a regular basis. He's also a rule-follower.
He's on a journey, but he's a homebody, creating some confusion in guys 2 and 3...

Guy 2- Fun loving, energetic-Loves new people, new experiences...or anything that changes the ordinarily "dull" pace of his life. Tends to make things up as he goes, rather than thinking it through before hand. He cannot understand the necessity of theory or planning. He has to be in action, or he feels guilty or unhappy.
I don't know much about him yet.

Guy 3-HERE is the trouble maker. I have no idea what sort of personality I want for him. Most would find this extremely easy, but there's just one detail. Guy 1 is an ISTJ, according to Meyers-Briggs typology. Guy 2 is an ESTP. I've been dying, just dying to work with a person like Guy 2. Long-term, I probably wouldn't be able to tolerate one, but somehow their spontaneity...is cute? >.<
But my issue here is that I don't necessarily want all these types of people to get along. I want them to rub eachother's fur the wrong way-not necessarily on everything, but definitely on a few certain subjects, that to one might be important, but to another, is simply irrelevant.
So I sort-of don't know *what* to do with Guy 3. *sigh* I guess I'll have to go consult my psychological-jargon-books for answers. :P Seriously...people act as if I'm the plague when I talk about these things. T.T

They work for characters. I'm going to prove that.
*can't wait to write Guy 2*

-Argentia

Update...I guess? lol

2011-10-10T19:04:00.000-04:00

This is basically a conglomeration of different posts, just edited so they fit. I've mostly just taken the main subject of each post and...just read. >.< I'm seriously braindead right now.

Ahem.

So yeah. Anyways, a new blog background!!! Yes, I know I'm late announcing that. It's so pretty-doesn't really match FALL, per-se, but I still love it...all the pink, yellow and orange remind me of Asia and summertime...lol. I need to change it for fall soon, yeah...But I really like it. T.T
I've done several changes to the blog/organizing of different things here. I hope it looks reasonably better and less cluttered, hahaha.
Lately, I've been preparing for Christmas by experimenting with candy recipes and soap stuff. On one such candy exploit (I was baking pocky), I took a break while the dough was rising. This happened to me-

While waiting for my pocky dough to rise today, I decided that it would be a fun idea to see if I could find picture of anime characters with green eyes, particularly guys. Typically, you don't get anything to weird when you search this, but for some RANDOM and totally weird reason I got UNDERWEAR on page...5? I mean, seriously Google? Aren't there more pictures for you to display of anime guys with green eyes before you start displaying underwear? Honestly? I'm a girl, but even I was just a tad embarrassed there.

Ahem. I guess the only way to find the picture I was wanting is to draw it myself or go to some other site to look, lol
I almost feel as if I want everyone to make me Christmas lists or something! I only know what I'm doing for ONE friend, and that's only because I just know EXACTLY what to give her without having to even think about it...
I've also been writing quite a bit recently...this is just a little fragment, that I'm not sure I'll finish but will probably use later. It was just this fleeting feeling, and felt so perfect, I wanted to fly...or something like that.

A slight, cool breeze sneaks in; it's late, on an undoubtedly fall night. Something about this night whispers to me, but I don't know what it is.

And a poem that I wrote...
Just as soon as the words came...
They disappeared.

Write the words, words that mean something
But they don't seem to come, no matter

Whatever I do, they're gone,
They're gone like the feeling in your song

Deep inside I know I must write
But it won't come out onto that endless white

And, the true goal of the post-To rant and rant and rant about NaNoWriMo. ^.^
It's true that I am part of those crazy people that love to write a 50,000 word novel in November. This year I really thought I wasn't going to do it, or wouldn't be able to pull it off, but I decided after much deliberation, that I would. Actually, it took a few of posts like this one-

As for your boy, I am a girl INFP but I have come to know many... a lot of them are the sensitive artist type. They tend to be extremely nice, well-intentioned boys who usually have some sort of talent (like writing perhaps!), but they are also shy. A shy dude isn't too different from a shy girl, really, just without the whole "cutesy" stigma. Its acceptable and cute to be a shy girl, but a shy guy is mostly just quiet and soft-spoken, and often has frustrations with this because guys are (according to society) supposed to be tough and manly and protective. Not that they aren't! My best buddy who is an INFP guy is protective, but not agressively so, if that makes sense. But the stigma of being agressive is seen as acceptable in society, so that can provide some frustration and so on, if you need to add that in. Think about how genders are "supposed" to act, and see how he compares... and maybe he doesn't care, but is frustrated that the girls all like the badboys when hes a genuinely nice guy and just is too shy to make any moves (for example).-Post on NaNo forums.

Ah, such a perfect description of those INFP boys. Quiet, artistic, sensitive, but longing to be able to compare to those bad boy types that get all the attention. This was truly a good motivation for me. I knew I wanted to write a novel about the different personalities-not directly about them, but about how people don't always get along with eachother, but can learn to appreciate eachother. I'm not going to go on one of my many long rants about how I make all of this work, but it really does. I'm extremely passionate about people and their differences, and in the past two days I've recently come up with a plot for one of the three main characters. I'll do another post on all of that soon.
*sigh* Some days, I feel like ISTJs and INFP's follow me around or something. I know at least four ISTJ males (not including my dad), and at least three INFP males. I wonder why that happens...I don't really get along with them, I just sort of...tolerate them? I mean, I love them...but I just wonder why I know so many of them. Do we act like magnets to eachother or something? :P

Alright...off to write another post about my novel! YAY! You have two posts in one day to read, both of which are rambling nothings that you probably skip...oh, well. Enjoy if you can, reader.

-Argent

Yet Another Story

2011-10-04T17:31:00.001-04:00

I get the feel like writing in October a lot. >.>
Especially *cough* this character *cough*.

*Snow drifted down; white flakes against an endless gray sky. No sound but the softly falling snow could be heard in that moment, but there was one thing, though silent, couldn't be avoided. Blood...there was blood in the snow. Ailith glanced down to see her brother, eyes closed, body limp, a curled up, scarlet-stained blotch in the perfectly white snow.

There was a soft breeze that chilled her as she realized what had happened. Kyle was dead.

Slowly, she stepped back from his lifeless form, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. Then, she stopped. A presence was felt behind her; she turned, hoping it might be someone who could explain what had happened.

A tall man, lanky, brunette, wearing tattered and bloody clothes, stood before her. His dirty jaw was set, with no expression, and as the freezing wind whispered, softly, soundlessly, his hair was blown from his clear gray eyes.

Hatred filled his cutting gaze, and though no words were said, she knew his hands were stained with the blood of the young man dead in front of her.

Ailith stepped back, fear taking over her. His relentless eyes continued to stare at her. She tried to run away, but her feet wouldn't respond; she opened her mouth to scream, and-*

*Ailith's eyes snapped open as the sound of her own shout awakened her. She breathed in and out for a few moments, then quickly took in her surroundings; dark room, someone breathing softly, the quiet sound of people talking below.

It had all been a dream; they were in the inn still and the person breathing was Kyle. Still, blood pounded in her ears and her breathing was panicked. After only a few moments more, she sat up, trying to settle her thoughts. The events of the dream wouldn't leave her mind, rather, she was involuntarily remembering events of the past; the image of Rurik's lifeless eyes, her last memory of home, flashed through her mind, and suddenly a sob welled up in her throat. She tried to contain it, but it was far too powerful, and though she told herself it was just a dream, over and over, a tear still slipped down her cold cheek. One after another fell, until she found herself weeping as quietly as she could in the dark room.*

Posting three times in a row would just be too much, though...
Very minor editing, btw.

-Argentia

Warm and Fuzzy

2011-10-01T21:25:00.000-04:00

Wrapped in warmth, I feel amazing! The Highlanders Festival at Radford was today, and I spent almost the the entire day there. It was FREEZING, but actually really fun. I wore a costume (yes!) and so did my little brother and friends. We listened to great bagpipe music, eat shortbread, brave the elements and watch (or in my brothers case, do) some great swordplay. Yes, I'm a fan of my own brother. :P
Afterwards I headed home with our pastor and my friend Megan, and we went to their house for supper-a nice beef soup. It was warm, and cozy, and we laughed and talked a lot and had a great time.

So I feel warm and cozy right now. :) I just want to smile a lot and listen to nice music...it feels nice to know that fall is finally here, winter will soon follow, and I can rest for a while. And be able to wrap up in a warm sweater. My biggest worries seem to just be so unimportant...thank You, Lord! :)

Also...today, my little brother Elliott turned 11. It feels so weird to see my 5 year old sister wearing his favorite coat when HE was 5, and trying to remember Elliott being THAT small. Megan played me a song today that reminded me so much of Elliott-Close To You, by the Carpenters. Here's a little of the lyrics-

On the day that you were born,
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair
of gold, and starlight in your eyes of blue

Which is why, all the girls in town
Want to follow you all around
Just like me, they want to be
Close to you.

Sorry if it makes you embarrassed one day, but the song really does remind me of you, Elliott.
Happy Birthday. :)

-Argentia <3

More poetry...

2011-09-30T09:03:00.000-04:00

I just looked around a few Sundays ago and realized that at King's produce, the flowers have been set out again. This years selection is almost entirely yellow. Most people would consider this a real bummer, but to me, it's more than wonderful and oh-so-sweet. Yellow is my favorite color, and fall holds some incredibly *special* memories for me. So...
The poetry mood came again. *smiles innocently*

I don't guarantee anyone will like this one.

Flowers, yellow-my favorite color
Someone said to give one away
But I couldn't do anything of the sort
Still, took it home that day

It sits on my dresser now
Along with other things of note
Special, a little memory
A diary entry that someone else wrote

Things were inevitably simple then
As the past does normally go
Fall is the season I learn things, I think
I think it enables a person to grow

I think that we all learned something
Really, in retrospect, I'm sure
That she and he and you and they
Learned something amidst the blur

Of leaves and laughs and the bright blue sky
With clouds drifting through it,
Three dimensional clouds that I never looked at before
And walkways the sun has lit

Perfect hours of rushing and warmth
That was a long time ago
A new friend, lost ones, different things
That before I didn't know

I won't forget, I promise forever
Leather gloves, English accents, and flat caps
Cold weather, running faster than before
Still different than now, still less confusing, better perhaps

Words filled the page, black on white
Hours on ends spent thinking
I longed and longed to truly learn how to write
And that's what I spent my time doing

Things were funny back then
A lot of things are when you're young
I wonder why, I wonder when
We'll laugh like that, a song we've sung

Burnt out like a candle on a lonely night
It's a simple fact, truth of the matter
Everything can't always go right,
But I promise, I'll still try to remember

Cold days, spent in my own world,
Watching the trees slowly loose their leaves
Their hands, raised toward the sky
The harvest pictures, with wheat in sheaves

Then there were those moments
When I felt the coldness
Even stronger, and it still torments
My soul, why was it always this?

Fall is coming on again,
Brilliant, beautiful, yet cold
What will it bring me?
What does the season hold?

Dreaming my Dreams, With You

2011-09-29T10:40:00.000-04:00

I remember waking up and realizing it immediately, then shoving my head back down into the fluffy mass of pillow and blanket. A dream. A dream. How could it be a dream? What kind-of game was this?
My mind, almost involuntarily, does a bit of a flash-back over the contents of my dream. I can almost feel myself sitting on a bed, in someone else's room, talking to them. I was worried about a lot of things, but I wasn't about to let them dictate what I said. It wasn't a bright place; the walls were white but a blue colored light in the corner made the whole room darker. I don't think there were any windows, even.
My subconscious never realized it was fake until I began to wake up, and then it was instantly. Sometimes, I still believe a dream is real for about a minute after waking up (I have to get things sorted out it my head) but this time...it was almost as if in only one day I had learned something, and doubted what I thought was reality as soon as I could.
Really, dreams like this are horrible. I want to remain in the dream, yet I wake up and instantly realize it wasn't real, and yet, I don't want to keep dreaming, because although the dream was great, it was also a little uncomfortable, and, it wasn't real. If it got too good, then I would be REALLY disappointed when I woke up. XD

Also, I feel somewhat depressed about my own stuff lately, too. I'm not so much depressed about other people, so it's safe to say I'm really just being selfish. XD Oh, well.

-Argent

Now I'm Not So Sure...

2011-09-26T00:24:00.000-04:00

That moment when I realized that their ending would never be one which was happy. Like some tragic half-hint of a love story that died before it had a chance to even begin; like a never spoken secret that was buried beneath tears of fear, guilt and questions; like a rose, budded, but snipped, their story fell to the ground; potential it had, but there was never a way it could have happened.

As a writer, I feel that their story is one I would never accomplish without a little help. I want to continue on my own, filling in the void that I know will haunt me on rainy October nights, but I cannot. If I write it wrong, I'll never get over it. I have an attraction to happy endings. As is such, I keep thinking of all the possible messes I could turn a good story into. This story into. So I stand here, thinking I learned something from her, but in reality I learned nothing. I'm still waiting, waiting on something, to make the ending.

The times for me to truly be equal enough to finish are gone, slipping like a sly fox through the underbrush, out of my sight, though etched upon my mind in permanent ink. I accepted the fact that I would have to wait for my ending. Some how I trusted that I wouldn't wait long.

Now I'm going to wait forever. I can look back, or forward, wonderstruck, as if somehow this is a story that needs told to people, but really, it's just a story, just a little scribble in the middle of the night.

But it's THEIR story...it's the best story. It's been mulled over, fought over, grumbled over. In other words, it's received the unofficial declaration of true writing.

What kind of a writer am I to not fight for it?

In Which Nothing New Happens, Really.

2011-09-23T13:41:00.000-04:00

(Author Note: This seriously hasn't been edited much. I'm just going to go ahead and post it since I haven't posted any of it in a while. I think I'll probably do some more writing this evening, so wait for it. Also, Lukas hates me. He never does what I want him to.)

Well, thankfully, I wasn't left to rot, as I might've already explained.
Richard wasn't the worst host there could be; after all, he didn't kill me. He visited sometimes; asking me vague and seemingly unrelated questions like, “what books have you read?”, and “how long has it been since your accident?”. I usually became exasperated with his questioning, and then he would leave, only to come back several days later to ask me more. He brought be a single book, and I began to feel like the protagonists in the legends my grandmother used to tell me when I was young; her favorite was about a young man who was locked in a tower by his brother. His brother then let him spend his time alone, with nothing to busy himself with, for ten years. The man went completely crazy. I suppose Richard isn't the only weird one in my family.
The August days were coming to an end, and September was sweeping in with a cool breeze. Winter always came early for us. I stared across the countryside sometimes, the crisp air of Autumn filling my lungs. I tried to keep myself busy with whatever I could. I grew to spend most of my mornings sleeping, and then stare at the starry sky long into the night, searching for constellations and occasionally catching a star falling from the sky in a brilliant streak. I would watch birds, think about a multitude of things, and attempt to come up with theories for dealing with the sleeping girl.

A notable visit from Richard occurred a week or so after my imprisonment. He opened the door (I think), and sat down upon the bedside. I was currently entertained out on the balcony, and came in when I heard his voice. imagine my utmost surprise when I saw him leaned over, staring intently into the girl's face.

“Hey, what are you doing?” I asked.

“Ah, nothing, really. Just wondering...”

“You're 'wondering' a little too close to her face.” I replied indignantly, taking a seat on the chest.

“Funny you would say that, since you even tried kissing her a second time.”

“Well, when given an ultimatum like yours I-wait, how did you know about that?”

“I don't know...” Richard began, sighing, gazing off into the distance, “I guess you could say I've been watching you through a sort-of crystal ball.”

“A crystal ball. Brilliant.”

“Indeed.” I don't think my cousin knows what sarcasm is, unless he's the one using it.

A few moments of silence passed; myself deeply interested in how he really had been watching me, since crystal balls were just nonsense. I sighed; questioning how on earth I had become so interested in things that were such a pathetic excuse for entertainment.

His gray eyes were still gazing distantly.

“You know...you could try killing her.”

I felt at that moment that I was sure of it. I couldn't stand this man.

“Are you serious? Kill her? That would just put her into an eternal sleep!”

“Yes, but the spell would be broken and I could go get Aurelia.”

I shook my head violently.

“She might just be a simple peasant, but I don't think it's a good idea to just go murder her. I-”

Richard took a dagger from his cloak and slapped it on the bed beside him.

“Your choice, cousin. But, if you need to use the dagger...I'm not stopping you.”

And with that, he walked out.

In case any person might wonder why I didn't spring on him and tackle him to the ground, tie him up with the bedcovers and leave...it hadn't occurred to me yet. What had occurred to me was that I really needed to ask to be given some paper, so I might write down any thoughts that occurred to me. I wasn't sure if my nutcase cousin would give me what I requested, but it was worth a try.

I now could add a dagger to my inventory of items to entertain myself with. Killing Richard wouldn't be a good idea; so far, he'd kept me alive with food and water, too spite seeming to think a person can spend a week by themselves without starting to feel a bit lonely and perhaps a tad crazy.

I sighed deeply. Recalling the even, i looked back into the room at the girl, the same way I had the day I'd caught Richard staring at her.

In that moment, nearly two weeks since my last visit from Richard, I thought how it might be nice if I could get to know her. Put aside all of mother's complaints and laments of me completely lacking in tolerance for personalities that clashed with mine...I was so hopelessly bored I didn't care about that. I just wanted something to do with myself.

Desperation isn't something I'm used to experiencing.

The writers pen...

2011-09-19T09:58:00.000-04:00

At an hour past midnight
The writer's pen strikes his paper

His pen is his sword
His pen is his alibi
His pen is all he needs to continue

He's a writer
A writer of love songs
His silence is beautiful
But his voice is strong

Writer, writer, in the night
Who is it who you search for?
What does lead your endless plight
What makes your thoughts soar?

Above your head, round and round
The reason is unknown to me
But I can tell, that without a doubt
Your pen is what helps you see

All you do is search and search
And lament your plight, your heartbreak
Even your life like a boat does lurch
Back and forth, back and forth, everything at stake

You shut down, lukewarm, but "satisfied"
But your pen always tells you more
Than you thought you knew
About yourself

You communicate a feeling, a feeling that is lacing your words like silver the clouds. A feeling that is like watching someone glance at you from the corner of their eye; sharing a secret emotion. A feeling that speaks of a hidden place, a small treasure that so few can unlock, open and see, but is rewarding beyond measure when accomplished. Why is it you write so powerfully? I cannot write like that. I wonder if it simply takes time. How can I communicate my small detail? That small detail that without even describing, you manage to make come alive...

Rainy Sundays...

2011-09-16T11:02:00.000-04:00

It's raining. At 11:34 AM on a Sunday. In September.

Where? You can figure that out for yourself.

The rain falls light, pattering against the panes of glass without too much urgency. No, rather, the rain simply blurs everything outside. Inside, you can see. Outside, you cannot. Will you traverse into the unknown?
Go, put on your coat. Something simple. Grab your umbrella, or pull over your hood, or slap on your fedora, whatever you prefer. Or if you don't prefer anything, no matter. Slip on your sunglasses; the sun isn't shining but the light you've got directed at you might make it hard to even walk without them.
Head toward the door, and leave the people behind.
Go out into the rainy streets and spend a little time with your thoughts. You've spent so much time doing it, I know, but now...it's raining.
It's raining on Sunday.
Sanctuary, it isn't where you've been looking and it isn't in the place you used to go.
You spot it as you walk down the street, and you stop.
For a moment, you reconsider.
For a moment, you wonder if you really want anything to do with anyone anymore.
But you do. You stay far in the background; partly out of fear, partly because of that light, and partly from shame. But besides all of this, you listen.

I wrote this while over at our neighbors house, watching their dog. It was late at night, we were planning on sleeping over (yes, they said we could do this), so while watching television, I wrote on my computer. This is what came out of it. I was somewhat dreaming of the days when it will rain on Sunday. When it rains on Sunday, I always think deeper.

It's going to rain on Sunday this week...

H.E.L.P.

2011-09-12T16:11:00.001-04:00

Right now, I'm facing a small dilemma-
Handful of individuals giving me a mental hassle about their heartache and headache and hopeless happenings and hell-bound state.
Every single time I try to explain the events I have planned, I get an enigmatic, easy-going, extremely uninterested reply, or some expression of false enthusiasm. RAIEN CAN'T NAME HIMSELF, FOLKS!
Likely, there is a not so loveable individual who is lurking in the long shadows and looking at my life's story and liking my posts on facebook and literally driving me crazy with their...not-so-likeable-ness.
Please, my perfectly perfect plans have been slightly punctured by the presence of particular persons. HAVE PITY!!!

And all those letters together spell...H.e.l.p.

Somebody...T.T

Anyway, as I sit here in my hopeless state, I look forward to tomorrow...and hope the laundry is cleaned up before Hannah comes over...

5top, Turn Around...

2011-09-08T19:48:00.000-04:00

5top, Turn Around...Hear the silence...I'm speaking.

Your brilliant eyes flash with fire
Your spirit is always fighting
But you're beginning to tire
I can see it in your face, smiling

You eyes drift in a different direction
Your shoulders are slumped
When they aren't looking, you lose your expression
What's holding you back, my artistic boy?

Your pen strikes the paper, night is nigh
You work your heart and soul
Perfection is all you want, you try and try
Reaching, even though it's all cold

Your ocean of thoughts are hidden behind
Eyes that glimmer in the spotlight
It's obvious that you are trying your best to find
Why you've been blinded by tonight

They don't know, I don't know
But I still see it, somewhere, a quiet crying
Not the kind you put on for show
But inside, you're dying, my stoic, silent writer.

Flash a smile, make a confession
You're front and center, and you don't know why
You feel like this is all misdirection
A grand plot to make you continue living the lie

You know that this isn't the way a righteous man
Acts when given such a gift, but now
You want to keep that place, you continue to stand
Even though you know you should bow

Truth is slapping in your face, yet you turn away
You want to stay in this place
It's like something's taken over you, since that day
Why do you sing with such a solemn face?

You're following; it's all you know to do
Following something broken and wild
You hold onto their example, set before you
Because you're really still a child

Too young, now nothing's gonna hold you
Your impetuous face is sweet
Your smiles are friendly and seem true
But I think inside, you're longing for direction

What should I say now? I don't know
Except that the last time I saw you
I didn't want to think you were that way, so
I thought for a long time about the truth

You always make me laugh,
You always make me smile
But there's something about that
I have to stop and think a while

Why do you always seem cheerful,
Yet behind that face so carefree
I wonder if there's really something woeful
Something you let no one see.

It's all a big mystery, behind each one
But finding the truth isn't difficult
I know you need help and that you can't run
And your lives are filled with tumult

Reaching you...
I want to at least point toward the Light
I need to
And make it, just a little bit, all right.

New Hair Cut!!!

2011-08-30T22:31:00.000-04:00

Hey!!! I got my hair cut! Today, my awesome mom decided on a whim that she would finally cut my hair like Meiying's in Karate Kid 2010 (more accurately called the Kung Fu Dream in China, lol). I'm so absolutely delighted with it...it still needs some touchups but I don't care...I LOVE IT. XD I'll have so much fun printing of pictures of Wenwen Han (the actresses real name) from her role in Karate Kid and styling it after hers...then it's on to doing my own things, hahaha.
It took about 1 1/2-3/4 hr, give or take, for her to cut, thin, layer and curl it. So amazing. T.T I want to take classes in hair styling when I go to college, hahaha.
And Meiying (Wenwen) herself!!!

On a random note, I saw a kid on DeviantArt today who was cosplaying Artemis Fowl. Without his cosplay gear he looks like a normal, sandy haired green eyed teen...and his name is Lysander. See, that's what truly creeps me out. Because one of my green-eyed, sandy haired characters is named...LYSANDER. Plus, this kids eldest sister's name was Heloise, which is a variant of my middle name, Eloise. O.o Will now be creeped out for a while...
Announcement of Prospect for my Future! I am now a babysitter for our neighbors! *uberexcitement* I find their little boy unbearably cute, and he seems like a good kid so I'm hoping my job will be relatively easy (no major fits). He's about 2 1/2 I believe...quiet, so he might be a little stubborn, and probably good at attempting to get his way (quiet children are generally good observers), but I'm not too worried, since he seems so sweet (but those kids can have decieving appearances, I'm telling you!). :)
I also....just wrote this. >.>

Back when a few hundred miles seemed like a long way away...
When there was a voice on the other end of the line...
When there were letters and words...

I didn't realize how close that was.

Now I watch, I read, but never come near
I hope, I pray, I don't want to see you live a life of misery

1000's upon 1000's of miles away...
I've never heard my name spoken by you
Nor opened a letter, once held in your hands

So, so far away, yet so close...for a reason. I think the lightness in my step, the joy in my countenance...it's been given to me for a reason.
Because I found you (or did you find me?)
I began to pray for you.
Sometimes briefly,
sometimes with tears,
sometimes with so much frustration and shame over your actions and your blindness that I could have cried but didn't...

Because I'm less interested in the things others are
And moreso in the condition of your heart

Stone or Flesh?

So it's pretty bad, but oh well. *is sleepier by the minute* I wrote it about all the people I come across over the internet who aren't Christians and obviously live a life of misery but don't seem to care. It's sad, really, that these people seem like such awesome folks, but yet they don't have God.
There are some people who I know by name, have seen a lot of, and really have gotten to know them/actually talked with them. But a lot of them, I just pass by a quick post or something and like a girl on blogger said, realize I just stumbled upon some anonymous broken heart. And nothing can fix that heart but what they so desperately*need* but don't have...Christ. They're still looking in all the wrong places, and will continue to do so until He works in their heart and changes them to flesh and not stone.
So, I end up praying for random people (sometimes, not so random) whom I've become attached to.
There was/is this one celebrity that I have been praying for. Generally, he seemed like a decent person until I saw a video him a while back...made me really upset/angry with him for being such a slave to popularity. Same with the younger celebrities who are coming out...Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, all those ppl who started out all nice and sweet but have gotten worse and worse and more popularity-blinded as they go.
So those people are kind-of frustrating sometimes. But I still pray for them....or try to! Pray that I can pray better, please?
One 'celebrity' (though I hesitate to call him this) who doesn't irritate me ever and always encourages me with his blog posts is Adam Young/Owl City!!! He's seriously just amazing! A Christian, who is serious about his faith...serious enough to lose a lot of fans because he proclaims it...loudly. He's a good guy.^.^
(And I don't mean that in a fangirlish way...I would think of him as a very inspiring person to meet, and if I already knew him, an inspiring person/role-model/friend, but other than that...yeah, take a hike any of you who think that I would be fangirling over Adam Young...that's just...not me!)

So check out Owl City's blog!

And continue reading mine to spite the rants that get really...really...long.

*crashes*

~A.K.~

For Adrian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.>

Ganbata-ne!

2011-08-26T22:28:00.000-04:00

Sooooo...

I'm about to scrap my NaNoWriMo novel. Why do I do this?!?!? Argh, lol

Ahem. As the title of this post says...'Do well! Accomplish much!'; I must say, everyone I know is starting something knew. I figure it's high-time I did something new so I will tell you! I read TEN PAGES of Science yesterday to get caught up! Okay, that isn't new at all, lol. But, hey. It's an accomplishment.
Let's see...well, I'm going to try making Bubble Tea tomorrow or whenever, 'cause the tapioca pearls that I bought at Oasis back last November are expiring...the 18th of September. >.< So I guess I'm gonna be eating absolutely monstrous ammounts of tapioca and bubble tea and stuff for the next two weeks. I'll get really healthy...... :P
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubble_tea

^in case someone wants to know what the crazed Asian-culture freak is talking about. ^.^

At any rate...I'm thinking of scanning on some of my little comic pages on here, but then I feel the story is too silly and weird, lol. Plus, it's fanfiction. So perhaps I'll just scan in the more recent pages, since they're sooooo pretty. ^.^
At any rate...gotta go to bed now. >.< Lately, I wake up between 7 and 8 and then push myself to not fall asleep...urgh. Need to stop doing that.

-Argent

Take it Slow...

2011-08-17T21:46:00.000-04:00

Sunday, I was talking to one of my friends, and said something that made him reply; "You sound like you've spent many years travelling outside of your body or something."
I answered with "Well, yes, I have, sort-of."

I fully intended to make this into something of a post, but the truth is...it just kinda flopped after that. XD I was gonna try to comprise summer, but I sort-of just want to stop writing and enjoy my good music...I hate it when I do that!!! It's like I can't do anything but listen to music!!! Urgh.
Well, anyways...
I'm...writing a lot recently. As any of you who read my blog may have noticed. If you haven't been reading my little story...that's fine. I hold about the same opinion of it as Mr. Lukas; it's important to him, and it's important to me, but others may just not want to read it, since it's sort-of the same as any other story you might here. Well, to myself and Lukas it is quite odd but very cliche. To others it might just be boring. >.<
Yes, I speak of my characters like they're real people. I'm sorry! I know they aren't and I don't think of them as people with real opinions...just characters who live in a little world in my head. I give them life and opinions and faces and such...just so I don't creep anyone out, I had to say that. LOL

So, I'm excited for NaNoWriMo 2011!!! I have characters laid out but absolutely no plot for them! LOL I can't decide....
Should I have them be really important children of a government official and get captured and held for ransom at some point...
Or should I have Nolan be the one who's invovled with the government, and he's a genius who cracks into the computers of other countries as a sort-of spy?
Or...or should they just be normal people that somehow get wrapped up in Erin's weird life and just turn it into a slice of life/romance comedy/shojo story?
You know...a 'let's save Erin from her awful life' campaign...naw, that's too fragile of a plot...
See what I go throught?! lol, I'm just throwing ideas out there.
I also can't decide if I want any romance in there or not. I really don't think I do...
But if there were a couple for me to want give enough attention to make it slightly noticeable...
J.K. and Erin...J.K.'s kinda impulsive. He's smart, but he doesn't know what to do with his intellect and can be a little destructive in his spare time. He hates wasting time, but does it consistently. He's got a past, but his life has been one full of whatever he wants. He's never known Erin's life of poverty and suffering.
Nolan and Erin...well, Nolan is 8 years older than her, so that might be a problem somewhere. But since my great-grandparents were eight years apart I'm not that concerned about age difference. Nolan could understand Erin's situation well, plus he's very cool-headed an intuitive. He's lived through hard times and he's also not been wealthy all the time, either. He sees who Erin really is...but he's also a bit of a jerk and has some nasty habits (smoking being one of them). Ahhh, what to do...

~A.K.~

In Which Sleeping Beauty Does Not Awaken

2011-08-16T15:45:00.000-04:00

Part 2

Her eyes were closed, her expression peaceful. Light danced across her summer suntanned cheeks, her equally brown hands folded gently across her chest. Her dress was that of a peasant; her feet were bare and rough, her dark brown hair mussed.

Well, this is going to be easy. She's not that hard to kiss.

I sort-of wanted to beat my head against a wall when that comment entered my mind, but decided to simply appreciate the fact that I hadn't spoken it aloud.

The room we were in was lightly furnished; cut of the same stone as the rest of the castle. The drapes of the single window in the room, which was across from me, were pulled away to reveal a gorgeous view of the countryside. In the wall to the left was the fireplace, and besides that, the room was empty of decor.

Her bed was simple and had been moved towards the window, but was still more in the center of the room. There was a chest at the footboard, a rug on the floor, and a chair standing awkwardly all alone.

Richard pulled the chair to the side of the bed and sat there. Beckoning for me to sit on the bedside, he entered into what I suppose was an explanation of what had happened.

“You see, Lukas, I was originally intending this to happen to our princess, Aurelia. But the old, half-blind witch that I employed to execute this plan got the wrong girl. See, she only slightly resembles Aurelia.”

I nodded, slightly confused.

“But anyways, I intended Aurelia, and then for the prince to come save her. Sadly, the prince won't save a false princess when he can simply go and speak to the real one. So, I need to do something about this one.”

“Two questions,” I began, “why do you want the prince to come save Aurelia, and why do you need to do something about this girl? Why not just execute your plan and then have the prince kiss both of them?”

Richard groaned, “all these details...well, as to why I want the prince to come save her...that's none of your business. As to why I cannot go about my plans while this one is lost in her deep slumber; the witch won't curse another girl until this ones been taken care of. It's really quite simple if you understand the magic behind it all. When one person is suffering from your curse, you-”

“I get it, I get it. No need to explain. You just want me to kiss her, and then we'll be out of here, right?'

By now, I was becoming slightly irritable. I didn't understand why he had to have me do it and I wasn't looking forward to it anyway. Besides, if I dawdled around there much longer, my family would wonder where I was and I certainly didn't want them to know.

“Ah, that is, if it is a successful attempt, which is most likely, then I will most definitely be-”

“Alright. One last question.”

“Yes?” His gray eyes flashed to meet my blue ones.

“Why me?”

A sly grin that a demon could have worn slid across his face and he stood up, “Why, the answer is simple, Lukas. You are, after all, the prince's own cousin. You are the closest to a prince that they might come...have you forgotten it already?”

No, I hadn't forgotten it. I hadn't forgotten it at all. Instead, it had been continuously thrust into my face for all seventeen years of my life, and I hated it. Sometimes, I wondered if it were me that was important, or my blue blood.

Of course, it is my blue blood, and it always will be. You just have to get used to this if you're at all related to the prince, and go on living your life.

Richard began to pace back and forth, “you weren't my first solution, though. I tried it myself. When that didn't work, I had a peasant to try. That didn't work, either. That was when I attempted to get the prince to come to dinner, but he responded to my request with nothing whatsoever; not even the slightest hint of a reply. I wrestled with it for days until I determined that only a prince can break a spell meant for a princess. I didn't really want any prince but ours, so I continued to mull over it until I remembered you. Ah, yes, Lukas! Son of the king's second youngest brother. That would probably work. So here we are.” Richard sighed as he finished, and suddenly stopped pacing. He stared at me strangely for a moment. “Well? Aren't you going to kiss her?”

Well...as a seventeen-year-old male I stood dumbfounded for a few moments before I realized that I really was going to have to kiss her. I felt my face flush at my cousin's clear, honest gaze of inquiry. He definitely was a weird one...

I cast a glance at her face. Then I decided I wasn't going to think about it anymore and bent down. As soon as my lips touched hers, I felt a pressure on the back of my head and realized it was Richard's hand. After several long moments, my self in great misery, he finally allowed me to sit up. I suppose he had been worried I wouldn't kiss her long enough to break the spell.

Fury had welled up inside me, not to mention the racing of my heart and the embarrassment that I had just kissed a girl for the first time. I turned to Richard, about ready to shout at him, when I realized he was looking me up and down with great scrutiny. His eyes held a mad, angry light, and he cursed softly under his breath.

That was when I realized she hadn't awakened. Rather, she lay just as still as before. Not a sound passed between anyone in the room. It remained deathly quiet.

Then, Richard turned away. He left the room silently with a swoosh of his cape and was gone. After recovering from my stupor, I attempted to follow, but as I reached the door it slammed in my face, and I heard the grinding of a lock. In my ignorance I assumed Richard had done it. At first I called out, figuring that my crazy relative had simply pulled a cruel joke. Then I began beating upon the door, shouting and cursing at the top of my lungs. But no one came. After many hours the sun began to set and I realized that he had never intended to let me go if the plan didn't work. The look on his face when he left was enough. I didn't know why he'd decided to keep me there, but that wasn't the point. I was a captive of a madman who thought he was a wizard, with no way to get out, and as darkness set in, I crawled into a ball on the rug and drifted off into a fitful sleep.

The Sarcastic Narrarator Returns...

2011-08-15T20:19:00.000-04:00

Part 1

I approached the castle with some hesitation. I was mildly fearful of Lord Richard, since seven Christmasess ago, when I was ten and just recovering from my accident, he'd tried to exorcise my great-grandmother and the next day she'd died. Of course, this was merely coincidental (I think), and shouldn't have affected me...but somehow, it has.
So as I and my horse slowly made the climb towards the castle, I reread his letter, which I'd kept in my pocket. This is what it said,

My dear cousin Lukas, son of Lord Martin of the Marshlands (My name just happens to be Henry Lukas Martin the Sixth. I go by my middle name to avoid confusion)
I have a proposition for you. You've always been a smart lad, one with words, so I know you must be reading this letter with curiosity. Your cousin Richard hasn't contacted you in a long time. Well, to be honest, I need you for something.
I want you to visit my castle. A maiden has accidentally been put into an endless slumber. She was supposed to be a different maiden, who would be awakened with the kiss of a prince, but sadly, this is not the case. She is not a maiden, and the prince won't come to kiss and wake her. I was hoping you might be obliged to do it.
I have enclosed 15 gold pieces in this package. It is only one-third of what I plan to pay you if you come and wake her.

Your loving cousin,
Lord Richard Carlton

Before I knew it, I had reached the main gates. I tried to stifle both my unease and my now rising doubts as I surveyed the place.
It was the picture of an abandoned castle from fairytales. The grounds were unkempt, the buildings in disrepair, and in general looked as if no one lived there.
But Richard was, as I was soon made painfully aware, in that fortress.
No one came to greet me, and no one was guarding the large, iron gates. Yet, creaking on their hinges with a screeching of rust, they opened as I approached. Unsettled moreso than before, I glanced around for someone who had opened them, but barely even saw the rustle of a bush or tree, or a shadow or noise.
Did I mention this was all taking place on a sweaty, humid, late August day when there was absolutely not the slightest hint of a breeze? In most circumstances, I would have been spending the day drinking lemonade out in the garden, reading a book.
The castle really appeared like an overgrown berry patch that a little kid would want to go crusading in, but I ignored that fact as I spotted Lord Richard off to the side. He was by himself, in a deep red tunic with a black short sleeved shirt underneath and black hose. His cape was the same color that is commonly associated with darkness, and he wore jewelled rings on his fingers. He's quite a bit older than me...ten years, at least, but he keeps his beard shaved and his raven colored hair long.
I suppose we do actually look somewhat alike. That's what mother always said before he went crazy, at least.
"Ah, my young cousin..." He began as I dismounted from my horse, "I see you're well as ever. Um, most of you, that is." He finished, casting a glance at the evidence of the accident several years ago. He couldn't see my pegleg under the boots I was wearing, but he must have remembered which one it was.
I suppose it is time I explained.
When I was ten years old, I was playing in the forest one day. And, you guessed it, was attacked by wild boars. I would have healed just fine, had it not been for the gangrene which began spreading. So, just as neat as you please, it was amputated and that was the last of it.

Since it isn't necessary to the story for me to explain everything about it, I'll just say that it's on occasion hard to get around with your right foot missing, but mostly, it poses no problem.

I greeted my cousin with similar friendliness, choosing not to acknowledge his comment.

“Well, then, since you're here, just leave your horse to be tended to, and we'll get straight to work.”

I wasn't sure where my horse would go or who would take care of him, seeing as there was no one else but Richard and I, but I decided not to worry about it and followed my demented cousin into the keep.

The corridors were cool and refreshing compared to the outside. I could hear water running somewhere; probably an underground stream.

It was as we rounded a corner and came upon a flight of stone stairs that Richard stopped. I glanced upwards. There was a landing, about twelve steps up, and then they turned out of site. The long, small window chiseled out of the stone provided faint light.

The sound of water running was to my left, and I realized that it was seeping out a crack in the wall. I turned to Richard.

“Is this a spring?”

“Yes. As you may have noticed by now, we descended several stairs as we entered this keep. We've been underground for a while. Since the castle is built into the mountain, it's natural for a few springs to be around. This one conveniently runs through here. Now, the mystery as to why the structure is still sound is one that I may only explain with magic.”

I groaned.

“Now, now, be a good lad and wash your sweaty face off, and we'll go on up and visit her.” He responded.

Finding no other options before me, I did as I was told. After splashing my face with water, we ascended.

Up until then I hadn't really believed in magic at all. But in the next few months, a battle of questions would be waged within me, and the reality of magic would definitely be one of the fiercest wars.

~A.K.~

The Sarcastic Narrarator is Introduced

2011-08-13T23:34:00.002-04:00

(EDIT)

Greetings.
My name is Lukas, and I am the son of the usual, filthy rich, high-and-mighty, greedy nobleman.
I know this is the most boring opening for a story ever, but you must understand that it's imperative to the plot that you know what kind of background I have.
Maybe it's just important that you continue reading. Either way...do whatever you wish. I won't try to convince you to go on.
I'm a fairly average nobleman's son; lanky, with dark hair and rigid features, generally neglected by parents, tutored by the second best in the land (best saved for the prince, you know), but hating of my studies, and bearing the evidence of an old wound which...I'll explain later. Did I mention brooding and secretive?
So maybe that is why I found myself here, at the gates of this ancient witches' fortress...it was probably a great castle once before something drastic happened, but I haven't studied history very diligently for the last year so I don't know.
All I am certain of is that I received a letter from Lord Richard. Lord Richard is my...second cousin, I believe. Anyways, we all decided to forget about him when a few years ago he suddenly moved out to this abandoned witches' fortress and decided to begin showing some sure signs of insanity-never speaking to anyone, locking himself in his room, and having a keen interest in the dark arts.
Coincidentally, it seems Lord Richard hasn't forgotten about me.
He wanted me to do him a favour, on the condition that I would tell no one. There was, of course, an installment of the money he was willing to pay me if I did what he wanted included with his little package.
I'm a normal guy, really. Money, land and reputation aren't important to me at all...I'm so normal, in fact, that I threw the letter away and never even thought twice about it.
Ahem. So, after the brief moment (about two seconds) of considering his offer, I immediately set about preparing to go meet him.
After all...this much in gold coins doesn't normally come to me like this.
Who would have thought it would be as simple as just kissing a fine maiden to awaken her from a cursed, magical and accidental slumber?
Ah...the scrapes I have always managed to get myself into...

Because...I feel like it!

2011-08-12T16:38:00.000-04:00

Yeppers, that's why I'm posting. I have a numerous amount of topics swirling around in my mind at present to begin posting about, but the one I seem to be totally distracted with lately is just one in particular.

Japan.

Now, of course, I'm always thinking of Japan. It's always in my heart, it's always something dear to me. But as of the past few days, Japan has been a really big deal for me. In other words...I want to travel there.
Eventually, I will. I just know it, like...well, I won't bother explaining. Why should I, anyway, when most wouldn't understand the reasoning behind it? It's rare to meet that many people in these parts who want to leave their country on a voyage to another, simply because they are absolutely in love with the culture and the language.
To be quite honest, I've had a lot of people tell me the Japanese are extremely strict. And I will agree that in some areas of Japan, or in some places, they probably are. News flash-
I don't care.
Somehow, the impossibilities and inconveniences now seem a completely irrelevant topic. I'm going to Japan. Do or die.
Okay, maybe not. If the Lord will's it, I'm going to Japan. XD But I'm serious about it, that's for sure. It's not because of anime...sure, I'd love to be in the country where that art-form originated, but I truly do have an interest in the cultural quirks of the people living in Japan.
I also have this desire to visit Korea. Since it's only a sea's leap away from Japan, I wish it were as easy as saying that.
The closest I've been is this-I've had a single offer to go to little Japan and Korea in Manhattan, but sadly, I don't know how to arrange that with the woman who offered it to me. Plus, my allergies have to be taken into consideration.

Somehow, to spite all of this...it seems close. I remember one winter when we were sick, and my mother borrowed a video on Japan from the library. I watched it with my dad. It had a special part about the tradition of sword-making. I'm certain my eyes were as wide as saucers. My mom was laughing at me because I wouldn't stop talking about those swords.

"They really put forth effort into making those things! They really care about it. I can just see one now; working away, pounding those Japanese virtues of strength and honour into the blade. "

She thought I was just being silly, but after a few years, I'm still stuck on Japanese swords, and pottery, and paper...
Green tea. Everyone I know says it's bitter. I drink it straight; no cream, no sugar, no nothing. It's delicious. And I eat my desert before I drink my tea. Why? Because you're supposed to compare the bitter with the sweet when you drink it.
It's like a balancing beam. The sweet makes the bitter even stronger, but the bitter makes the sweet, sweeter. They're always going back and forth, back and forth, bitterest, sweetest, bitterest, sweetest...
Maybe it's the quiet analogies that surprise and enthral me. I don't know. But I do know that I do love the culture. There are many things wrong with it, many errors in their ways of thinking, but all the same; there are errors in every culture.
I neither turn away and choose to ignore them, nor do I accept them as okay. I simply address them as what they are-wrong, and I try to enjoy the good aspects.

-Argentia Krystofel

If it were...

2011-08-11T15:56:00.000-04:00

If it were real.

The statement lingers in my mind, a quiet reminder of the fairy tale that somehow, for that instant, didn't seem impossible.
I simply smiled, observed from a distance. I didn't feel giddy or light, but rather a rock-solid, attached feeling, like my feet would never leave the ground even if I exerted all of my energy just to jump. I couldn't move, yet I wanted to. I wanted to move, yet somehow, it was pointless. The whole thing was worth it in some sense of the word; just to watch and think-I want to remember this.

I didn't even realize I was dreaming.

I felt alive, surrounded by people in a dark, loud, enclosed space, with lights flashing only on one place of note, and that place was one I won't forget.

I can't help but contemplate my feelings. It was just a dream, but it was realistic enough that I believed it, even after the first few moments of waking up. I was calm; happy, yes, filled with emotion, yes. But I wasn't allowing it to take hold of me or determine my action. I stood there, I observed, I continued in my one persuite.
There was something I had to say to you. Even if you totally ignored me, or couldn't understand me, I wanted you to at least hear my words, spoken for you.
So even when I was standing right next to you, I wasn't distracted from my goal...
I question myself now; no, I torture myself with inquiries, mulling over a situation that will most likely never be thrust in front of me. I feel so happy, trying to remember the dream that is now tarnished by time. Yet there is a dark, thoughtful, bitter thought of whether or not I would really remain so focused. I wish I could ask my subconscious some questions, almost as much as I wish I could ask you some.
I've tried to reach you; todoke, but I still wrestle with the truth and hope. The darkness of this world, and the light that all will eventually be answered.
So I repeat it in my head; todoke, todoke, todoke...reach you.

-Argent

Sickness in Summertime...

2011-08-08T17:58:00.000-04:00

Got back from shopping with Mom earlier...just running errands, but it took it's toll on me, so I'm tired.
I've been sick with the SECOND summer cold this year. Ugh. So for the past few days I've been watching anime, sitting around and generally being lazy; trying to rest up. I washed some dishes, loaded the dishwasher a few times, etc, but not much else.
Today school started back here. YAY! And I'm totally serious! I'm loving it! LOL
I painted my toenails Haruhi Suzumiya 2nd opening style while I was still pretty sick. I did these rainbow stripe with a large H and them more rainbow colors, lol. Maybe the glitters will stay put, but I doubt it.
What else should I say other than I'm updating my blog because I need to, and I'm sick?

-Argentia

Please...

2011-08-07T23:55:00.000-04:00

You're the only one
That can say anything to her
I hesitate to say save
Or anything that might mean more

Right now, she needs you
Else it'll all go down the drain
It'll all be a big mess
And my tears will be in vain

Please, don't be like
The whole, huge, wide world
Please, don't stoop
To their ideas of how things should end

Because it doesn't have to be
This sad, lonely way
It doesn't have to be all black
With death during the day

And living it up at night
While the people
All turn out their inner light
And make a decision

To cut down that candle wick
Till there's nothing left
To continuously over do it
A simple, self-theft

Yes, they're all stealing from themselves
And they can only
Be redeemed by Christ alone, our Savior
So that's why, anyway

I'm asking you to help her
Because you can't save
I'm asking you to say something
Or at least, please pray

I know it's not the roll you play
At least, not usually
But when it's dire, and if you care
Please, don't act cooly

Don't pretend you don't know
And by all means don't play along!!!
Just pray and try, and don't go
Don't go down that road

Good Video for Sasuke and Sakura

2011-07-22T12:10:00.000-04:00

Sasuke-kun...
When did I fall in love with you?
Back in those days...I was just infatuated with how cool you were.

Then...
you became my teammate...
On Team 7.

Being team mates didn't change me. I was still hopelessly in love with the cool Sasuke. Just gazing at his handsome profile was enough for me.

I never gave a thought to who he really was, behind that pensive face.
But...
The shadow that you carried...
When I finally noticed, it was too late.
Before I knew it, Naruto had matured and was standing face to face with you.
I was the one left behind.

Yet I didn't change.
That's why this time...
I tried to catch up to the two of you, in my own way.

But Sasuke-kun
...is not longer the person we think he is,
and he's far beyond our reach.

I've already decided!
I'll take care of Sasuke-kun myself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNOgJHDXq34&feature=mh_lolz&list=LLNivu-1UkUiE

Justin from Westmark

2011-07-18T10:29:00.000-04:00

Justin...an indescribable presence. The angel and the devil; that's how Florian put it, and rightly so.
In the very essence of his being there is an anger, a hunger for revenge, for answers, for something to satisfy his endless plight. His violet eyes flash with fury, a look that many cannot understand.
It's no wonder Rina fell for him.
His past haunts him; he's his own ghost, as Theo remarked. He drifts along between the Justin that could have been, could be, but still is in between. A madman, but neither grovelling in self-pity, nor embarking on any killing sprees. Simply there; he does what occurs to him to do at the moment, and that can be one of many things, each dependant upon the past and his vengeance. He can only trust himself to carry out this vengeance, because no one else understands it.
Perhaps Florian understood it best. Either that, or he just allowed it to carry on without stopping Justin, which was as good as understanding.
His scar adds to his lack of sanity; a rippling, brightening and darkening mark down his forehead and cheek, reinforcing the expressions that cross his face, and telling a story without any words; a story of thoughtless, crazed valour, near-death incidence, and the reason behind the sandpaper dividing himself from Theo.
Things drop into Justin's mind and disappear, Florians says. His mind is an endless labyrinth; doors opening to hallways. Some are easily passed through, others haven't been opened in years and probably never will be opened again. He allows himself to forget those awful memories. They drop down into the darkness and are never seen again, or, they are changed; morphed into something at least half-better than it could have been. He has an uncanny ability for that, and after a while he loses track of when he started to believe his story as the truth.
He wants to destroy the monarchy. He wants to destroy the world. He wants his vengeance. He can't be contained until he has it. He's the devil.
He smiles and laughs and talks to people, with a winning 'charm' that most can't escape. He doesn't feel like he's hiding anything, because he isn't. He's the angel.

He's Justin.

Westmark rant. >.< I absolutely cannot get over Justin as a character. He's amazing in a way that I can't quite get out.

Complex characters for the win.

-Argentia Krystofel

Tag from The Shieldmaiden at Wordpress!

2011-07-15T22:07:00.001-04:00

Do you want a hug?
Adrian: Depends...if I know you, maybe, if I don't, of course not...if you're a pretty girl...sure!!!
Misti: I am now weirded-out. No.
Alastair: ...please don't.
Do you have any kids?
Adrian: *looks around* Ummmmmmmmmmmm...no...
Misti: No...but I love 'em.
Alastair: That's a very...impossible question. I'm fourteen years old. Why would I have children?
Have you killed anyone?
Adrian: Uh-huh, I have.
Misti: Once; only because they tried to kill Adrian.
Alastair: Yes. Several.
Love anyone?
Adrian: …maybe...*mischievous grin*
Misti: Yes. I love the person more than anything in the world.
Alastair: *sigh of annoyance*
(Adrian: Don't ask him^ personal questions unless you're prepared to be answered with either silence, or a sigh.)
What is your job?
Adrian: Find the shards, prove I can use them well enough to say I'm royalty, and then take my throne back.
Misti: Self appointed-Protect Adrian. Given-Protect the forest...and do laundry.
Alastair: Puppet ruler.
Favorite season?
Adrian: Summer! All the way!
Misti: Tough one...probably spring, when all the flowers bloom.
Alastair: I hate just about anything other than Mid-October. That's the only time it's even at all reasonable outside.
Who’s your best friend?
Adrian: Don't have one, don't need one.
Misti: *quietly* Adrian.
Alastair: Royale.
Hobbies?
Adrian: Reading, practicing with my shards, and riding my horse, Orion. Sometimes, I just lay around, especially at home, daydreaming or playing my flute.
Misti: Exploring! I love to explore the unknown parts of the South. Then there are so many other things I love to do, I can't really name them all.
Alastair: Piceus, reading, and becoming more skilled in dual-wielding.
What are you going to do when this tag is over?
Adrian: Writhe in agony and utter boredom as Argent has be recover from poisoning for the SECOND TIME in a row.
Misti: Return from my walk with Alas and check up on aforementioned Adrian.
Alastair: Finish the ice cream Misti and I just bought.
What is your eye color?
Adrian: Green. Emerald green; quite rare I've heard.
Misti: Aqua-colored.
Alastair: Normally, gray. They grow darker in dim light; glow red in darkness. It's a night vision thing. I don't like explaining it and I hate talking about it; most people count it as a 'curse'.
Are you good? Or bad?
Adrian: I attempt being good most of the time, but I on occaision...make people cry. I don't try to, honest!!!
Misti: I'm on Adrian's side. Him getting his throne back IS a good thing...to spite how it might not seem like that right now.
Alastair: Depends who you are.
What is your greatest fear?
Adrian: There's no way on earth I'm telling you that.
Misti: I won't protect the forest, like I always have, or that one of my friends will die.
Alastair: ...no comment.
What do you think of your parents?
Adrian: Well, technically, I never knew my birth parents, but I have adopted ones; Callan and Shane Kempf. Mother is...okay, I guess. A little eccentric, and sort-of protective, but it doesn't bother me. And Father...he was taken by the plague when I was fourteen. He always kept his distance; waited for when I wanted to come to him, instead of smothering me. One thing I remember very well is that his smiles were infectious; when he was happy, everyone was.
Misti: Let's not go there.
Alastair: I cared for my father...deeply. My mother...another story entirely.
Any siblings?
Adrian: None.
Misti: I wish! Starr's kinda become like a little sister, though!
Alastair: Two older half-brothers, and a younger half-sister and half-brother. Four in all...there might be more that I don't know about.
Was it fun to answer all these questions?
Adrian: Anything new is welcome.
Misti: All but a few...
Alastair: It was indescribable. In a really bad way.
Do you have any weaknesses?
Adrian: You gotta be kidding.
Misti: Let's see...I can't really count them all, but I'd say the greatest is when a certain someone gives me a certain smirk. I can't say anything, much less disagree with them. (Adrian: This wouldn't happen to be any of the guys in the village, would it? Misti: I never said it was a guy and what makes you think I would tell you?!)
Alastair: You just never give up, do you?
Your favorite element?
Adrian: Definitely fire. I love the stuff. It's bright, warm...and truly beautiful.
Misti: Ummm...foliage? Trees and rocks and the ground and stuff? Do those count?
Alastair: Darkness; night time. Quiet, solitary, and safe.
Do you care what others think of you?
Adrian: It's SUPPOSED to matter to me, because I'm a prince and all, but honestly it doesn't. (Me: It does!!! He'll just never admit it!)
Misti: Duh. Doesn't everyone, somewhere, worry about what others think?
Alastair: No...not anymore.
Your theme song?
(None of my characters have one decided yet. There are different ones that I listen to, and some of them are more for the character than others. ^.^ I can't write without music, though. LOL)

What’s your species?
Adrian: Completely human!!!
Misti: Part forest spirit, part human.
Alastair: Half Wood Elf, half Dark Elf.

Summer-full of enjoyable and not-so-very-enjoyable things...

2011-07-15T18:03:00.000-04:00

To make a blog post....since I haven't posted in a while...

This summer has been/is interesting. Somehow, to spite being a relatively head-in-the-clouds person, the teenage/highschool drama decided to hunt me down this year. I must say that it can all be boiled down to about three points.

-God gave us our parents for a reason.

-Parents should act like parents.

-Someone isn't doing their job.

So there! I found a solution! XD

So right about now I'm being stubborn and enjoying my life, and my summer.

I've baked cookies and iced them with my little sister, I've listened to music (OWL CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!) super-loud, I've made these little drinks by taking raspberry chocolate coffee creamer (I can't have coffee because it makes me sick and everyone knows I just need more sickness) and put it in milk, stir it around, and viola! It's actually really good; flavor isn't as strong as strawberry/chocolate milk that you get in the store, or even the mix stuff. It's more...delicate. I like to go out in our front yard and sip it under our big oak tree. Our neighbors must think I'm crazy, but I don't care because...I don't care. XD

I like pink lemonade. I've been drinking a lot of that. I also have been eating a lot of food from our raised bed gardens (check it out at my mom's new blog here-http://timestooshort.blogspot.com/ ). It's all so yummy!

I've been going to Goodwill and maniac-shopping! LOL, yes, I am doing something girly! The other day I found a dress by the designer 'twenty-one.' The top part was annoying and far too low-cut, and I had no idea what to put under it to put a stop to this low-cut-ness, so I just pulled out my seam-ripper and took the top from the bottom! Viola, I have an amazing little skirt that looks so fashionable and summery. I'm wearing it Sunday. :)

I love being a teenager. Yeah, fifteen isn't QUITE everything that I bargained it would be, but maybe next year will be better. I think eventually I'll look back on fifteen and think-Wow, I didn't like it but MAN I learned a lot.

And besides. I'm having fun here at home for once. I'm not wishing I could be somewhere else. I'm not chatting with friends 24/7, and I'm actually talking to my siblings more often. I'm reading books. Books are amazing things. I recommend Lloyd Alexander. He is my new favorite author (I never had one before) and the writer of the Westmark Trilogy, the Prydain Cycle (The Black Cauldron, anyone?), and The First Two Lives of Lukas-Kasha (Amazing, unique, funny, slightly strange, rascal-starring book that I love) and many more. Go. Read. XD. I also recommend G.A. Henty, for books that are slightly more educational and don't take place in the town of Zara-Petra or the world of Westmark. I must say a lot of Henty books are very hard for me to read and I get bored about half-way through, but a few of them really have captured me and taken me along for the ride. Albeit, Henty can be a bit...repetitive, in his storylines, so can Lloyd Alexander so why am I complaining? A Henty storyline- Guy goes adventuring, guy rescues girl (or tries to), guy gets captured, guy escapes, guy gets girl and lives happily ever after. Since I'm reading a few Henty books, though, I decided I should recommend him as an author.

Other books I'm reading at present are Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild (sorta like it), The Developing Child (Psychology book that I like for character development), and of course a star-gazing guide for beginners. A few years ago I do believe my mom got rid of all of her old stargazing books which really makes me want to cry that I wasn't into that sort of stuff at the time. I mean, I REMEMBER her sorting through them and I DON'T remember her keeping many.

News flash-Meteorite shower on Friday, July 29. I'm still trying to remember if that's 29^th P.M. (between 9 and 11:59) or A.M. (between 12:00 and dawn) but that doesn't really matter since it's such a spread out shower. I'll give a link later, since I'm REALLY excited about this one. Its small, but that doesn't matter to me at all. Actually, it makes me even more hyped up because I feel like a dedicated meteor-watcher because it's such a small shower that no one BUT stargazers go to.

Well...off to continue having my weird but awesome summer!!!

~A.K.~

Kind...

2011-07-05T00:38:00.001-04:00

Being next to someone as kind as he is...

I just hope...that the world is kind to him.

-Uru Takamura, Happy Cafe chapter 72 pages 7-8

Tonight...a perfect moment was frozen in time whilst my protests and analogies, my mistakes and my misunderstandings. It was stilled into a perfect picture-one of smell, sight, and sound, though I wouldn't know it until later.
I still don't know if I enjoyed the moment, or if I hated it, because I still feel knots in my stomach and an uneasy pretense in my heart.
Suddenly, a voice called my name,

"Misti!"

Blasted out of my reverie by that familiar someone, I looked up.
"Adrian, what is it?"
He smiled at me; that crooked smile that always meant he was in a delightfully suspicious mood and was ready to play a prank or set off fireworks, or do anything that involved some sort of risk.
"I just finished a good book."
"Is that seriously all?"
That's all I remembered. I couldn't remember anything else about Adrian. He had been someone who was important to me, I knew that much. Even now, after the apparent hit to my head, I knew he was important. But I couldn't remember what had made him so special to me. Only that little moment, that time I had been thinking of him, could be recalled.
Yet I felt like I could tell him anything. The struggles I faced, the questions I had, the sorrows and burdens...and I came to wonder; does it really matter all that much whether or not I remembered? Yes, they were precious memories. But nothing seemed to have changed inside me. Something was still the same-a thing I couldn't name, but felt.
I sighed heavily, letting my eyes trace the stars. Maybe someday soon, maybe not, I would regain my memories of this person. But until then...I knew I could wait patiently.

-Argentia Krystofel

Computer Ban!

2011-06-27T18:26:00.001-04:00

Alerting all you ppl who might still be reading my blog-GOING ON A WEEK FREE OF COMPUTER!!!

So...read my poem!!! And comment, please!!! LOL

No Doubt, Reprise

A rush of air as I step forward
Starving for realism
The sudden truth that this isn't hard
And that this is the last moment

We didn't need any words at all
A silent conversation
Bright lights, cool wind, yellow wall
And I see that this is the last moment

I grip tighter; pain pounds in my feet
A constant beat in my head
The imperfect row like a city street
And I come to terms with this last moment

The summer days are full of light
A hint of coffee and cologne
The memories swing with our flight
Like a whirlwind; this is the last moment

My heart throbs inside me
Now the world is full of color
Wrapping my hand around tightly
I seek to hold onto this last moment

The darkness, the fear, the contemplation
The support of one thing takes them
And away they go without need of explanation
Frozen in time, this last moment

I can't explain it; don't ask me to
It's a feeling, not a word
And a security; I can rely on You
Even in this crucial, last moment

The single song, the only way
Am I a hopeless thief
For trying my hardest to make it stay
That sweet, last moment

A picture of the past to the present
Completed, not framed, painting
Nothing needs added, nor asked for consent
And I find peace in the last moment

Things change, so do these places
Where you can cry 'I am safe!'
Not meeting any time-hunted, cruel gazes
Forever, No Doubt, last moment

So I stand, gazing at the banners in rows
And the lights, gently bright
Calling me forward, where my heart goes
The end of the last moment.

-Argentia Krystofel (see you soon!!!)

Thoughts on Peter Pan

2011-06-26T18:31:00.001-04:00

To describe myself right now...

I mean...when this stuff happens...I have my Tamaki moments more frequently. I can see all the atomic bombs destroying cities and the sun going dark...

Okay, so maybe not. =P

I have a cold. It's not a bad cold, but being sick in summertime is never fun. Then, I have...the issue-people pursuing me again.
Right now, I'm watching Peter Pan to distract myself.
Peter never stops laughing. Even after almost dying, he simply returns back to his care-free self in a matter of moments. I must admit I've never really met anyone like that, but he definitely does portray the ideal boy in a stretched and skewed sense.
Caught up in the fight, he forgets that Tigerlilly's life is in danger.
He finds the mermaids teasing of Wendy funny.
And he's oblivious to the fact that the way he interacts with Wendy, Tigerlilly and Tinker Bell will change how each of them thinks of him.
He plays all the time. It's all a big game to him, leaving the females his age frustrated at his inability to take responsibility for his actions and his desire to just have fun.

What I've never understood is why people just can't let boys be boys. Sure, Peter gets on my nerves to no end at certain points in the movie. But he's only a 10-12 year old boy, for gosh sakes! A little boy isn't aware of things like that.
Only after a boy matures into a man should a girl be expecting him to be acting like one. And that can happen at any time, and can take nearly ten years. (Shout out to you dudes-You might be 18 but you're probably far from grown-up. I don't say this because I have been through the experience [I am fifteen, no where near grown-up] but because I have a friend who HAS. Her opinion-you aren't grown up yet. Rather, the experiences and responsibilities thrust upon you after 18 turn you into a grownup. True wisdom!!!) Peter just isn't grown up yet (duh).
But Peter has his pride 'No one calls Pan a coward!' 'No! I gave my word.' and he gets very frightened when Tinkerbell almost dies 'You're the more important to me than the whole world!!!'. He's not oblivious to people and feelings...just slow.

In Peter Pan 2, the directors made him into a slightly more grownup boy; a bit more sensitive and not so carefree.

In the first movie, he manages to compromise with Wendy, in a way. She comes to see why he acts the way he does, while he redeems himself with a little chivalry and that slight glimpse of the man he could become one day.
In the second, Peter is 'older', and seems to make Jane conform more to him than he to her. I think that worked out better because he wasn't as boyish in that film. Rather, Jane was far too serious. In the second film, Jane is all ready to grow up, and Peter teaches her to be more childish.

Once again, I rant while watching a movie. >.< There's something about the shadow of the impish Peter, his feathered cap and pointed shoes outlined on a wall in the moon/candlelight is so exciting. The music plays in the background-Dum de DUM! and you know it's Peter Pan.

-Argentia Krystofel

No Doubt [Reprise]

2011-06-25T17:59:00.000-04:00

No Doubt, Reprise

A rush of air as I step forward
Starving for realism
The sudden truth that this isn't hard
And that this is the last moment

We didn't need any words at all
A silent conversation
Bright lights, cool wind, yellow wall
And I see that this is the last moment

I grip tighter; pain pounds in my feet
A constant beat in my head
The imperfect row like a city street
And I come to terms with this last moment

The summer days are full of light
A hint of coffee and cologne
The memories swing with our flight
Like a whirlwind; this is the last moment

My heart throbs inside me
Now the world is full of color
Wrapping my hand around tightly
I seek to hold onto this last moment

The darkness, the fear, the contemplation
The support of one thing takes them
And away they go without need of explanation
Frozen in time, this last moment

I can't explain it; don't ask me to
It's a feeling, not a word
And a security; I can rely on You
Even in this crucial, last moment

The single song, the only way
Am I a hopeless thief
For trying my hardest to make it stay
That sweet, last moment

A picture of the past to the present
Completed, not framed, painting
Nothing needs added, nor asked for consent
And I find peace in the last moment

Things change, so do these places
Where you can cry 'I am safe!'
Not meeting any time-hunted, cruel gazes
Forever, No Doubt, last moment

So I stand, gazing at the banners in rows
And the lights, gently bright
Calling me forward, where my heart goes
The end of the last moment.

-Argentia Krystofel

Reformed Family Bible Conference

2011-06-24T08:19:00.000-04:00

I'm actually at home right now; I came back today so that I could go to something Friday morning, then I'll be back to my friends! *is happy*

Otherwise, I have been...compiling a bunch of lyrics together...and I feel a poem coming on. So I'll post my lyrical selections...the poem will probably come later.

Everything changes if I could
Turn back the years, if you could
Say that forever is more than
Just.
A.
Word. (Everything Changes-Staind. Yes, I changed the lyrics around.Hehehehe)

I guess that yesterday's not good enough for you
You know that I hate this song
You know that I hate this song
Because it was written for you
(I Hate This Song by Secondhand Serenade)

I know I've changed
I have changed
Just like you
Just like you
For how long, how long
Must I wait, I know there's something wrong.
Your concrete heart
Isn't beating
And you tried to make it come alive
No shadows, just red lights

I've learned to lose
I've learned to win
I turn my face against the wind
I will move fast
I will move slow
Take me where I have to go
(Still Alive by Lisa Miskovsky)

We watch the season pull
Up it's own stakes
We catch the last weekend
Of the last week
Before the gold and glimmer
Have been replaced, another sun-soaked season
Fades to gray

You have Stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart
(Stolen, Dashboard Confessional)

I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I never thought that it will come to this
I know we'll never get back
To how we were before
Cuz I know that I don't love you anymore

It's too hard to keep pretending
It's too hard to ignore
But I don't think that I love you anymore, anymore

Then my poem (it came, hahahah)

We speak to eachother
Not in words but in strokes
Each gray line forming a word
Each shape, a sentence

This is how it was, right?
Yes, this is what is out of site
This is how it is now
Yes, this is why I'm drawing

Gonna say something to that one
Something I can't say with words
Trial conversations, spoken anew
I can't believe I won't make this sure

But nothing matters anymore
I contemplate as I create
This is the now, this is the me
I don't have to wait

I'm stronger than they assume
I'm brave enough to stand
Even in this perfectly empty room
I'm alone now in this broken land

I miss the sunlight, but it never rains
I stare at the dark lines and I wonder
Will this be the dark which lasting brings?
Forever and ever is all that matters

The punctuation I can't find
The reason behind my long sentencing
The subject noun isn't neccesary
For us to be in complete understanding

If I simply go inside myself,
That would solve my hesitance
But for now I am a 'how you felt'
And a 'the way time ticks by'

I'm a Longfellow and an Elliot
No matter how many people don't see
Even if it doesn't make it
To anyone, but me.

AAaaaaaand...yeah. :)

-Argentia Krystofel

Without Words (sort-of)

2011-06-12T19:10:00.001-04:00

Sunday-Told By the Past

Hint-Read the song names. And, I haven't heard a single one of these so I can't speak for the content.

(I didn't mean for my window to look like a cross reflected in this...it kind-of gives the impression that Christ is a Highway to Nowhere...I wanted to say please don't take it that way...but you could take it that Life is a Highway to Nowhere without Christ!!!)

If you were with me Sunday you probably will have to 'organize' them to have chronological order...some won't make sense unless you know me very, very well. The shots after this are just little random ones I wanted to try...I thought they looked good.

I'm such an artsy geek! Hope you had a wonderful Lord's day~!

~A.K.~

No Title

2011-06-10T14:57:00.000-04:00

I ran out of titles. After 130+ posts...you stop being able to come up with something to describe the weird mood you're in or what you're writing about. Then again, maybe "No Title" will describe this?

His body was tensed as he stared over the table. His bright blue eyes darted about, yet they wouldn't meet mine. His tongue curled around the words he was saying with such great sarcasm I was slightly surprised. The long, dark, uneven bangs that fell into his brilliant blue orbs swished with every movement he made; and that was quite often. To spite his scrawniness, the boy was lithe and strong, and every emotion he was feeling was expressed through his movement; the anger, the fear, and the acknowledgement.
I was vastly opposite. Arms crossed, I kept my eyes on him and tried to not waver. I didn't feel angry or even afraid. Just so, so guilty.
For the record, I hate the feeling called guilt. I've done enough messing around and acting out in my life to fill the king's treasury with all my guilt-and there might still be some besides.
The young man sitting across from me was like the final act in my commitment-lacking life. Oh, the curtains are far from closing; at least, if I don't die tomorrow or something like that. But this is the latter part, even if it could be a pretty long ending.
The boy's eyes flash up to meet mine, furious.
"I'm not gonna ask why, because that's just way too cliche."
I nod.
"That's fine; I really don't know why myself."
"Good. So, do you know exactly what kind of torture to call this?"
He didn't gesture at anything, but we both understood what he was talking about-his entire life, I had been shirking my duties. It was, rightfully, his time to take vengeance. I wanted to apologize, but would it really help? Not likely. Yelling at him like I had any right to was a bad idea; grovelling was even worse.
"No."
"Gosh...I would think you would have some smoother words than that after everything you've done."
"I could say the same."
Okay, so maybe I was pushing the sarcasm a little bit now. But who on earth did the little guy think I was?
A lowlife, I guess. He might be pretty right if he were talking to me twelve years ago, but now? I like to think I've changed, at least a teensy tiny amount!
"Wha-? Don't compare me to you! I might've stolen a little something here or there, or maybe some selfish noble's money once or twice, but I never, ever, ever even thought of doing what you have."
I sighed.
"Give yourself a few years, and you might."
"Shut up. That isn't even funny."
"I know. I'm telling you the truth."
A pause as he took a few deep breaths to control his nearly boiling-point fury. We were sitting in a tavern, and there were people standing around. I cast an idle glance around the room. A man in the corner who looked slightly more than just shady, a silent father with his talkative daughter near us, and a young couple with a small baby. Each thing seemed to direct me back to where I was or where I'd been; the irony that always made me wonder if there were a way that someone was trying to make me more miserable.
My attention snapped back to the business at hand as my young friend spouted off, "Do you actually think I want to be anything like you?! I've abandoned my life of thieving."
"One likeness right there."
He laughed scornfully.
"The only reason you gave up using people is that..."
"That I started feeling bad about it?"
"Yeah." The blue-eyed fellow sniffed, defeated, but not about ready to admit it.
"You know, I didn't 'use' your mother. The feelings we had for each other were mutual. There wasn't anything cruel or abusive in our relationship." I answered blandly, trying to not get as worked up as this boy was.
"Except that you left!!!" He blurted, and all the heads in the room turned. I tried to give a sympathetic look before turning back to him.
"Shhhhh...I know already. I made a bad choice; I realize that. But you also left your aunt. After returning and searching for your mother I would have been able to find you if you'd been agreeable...but I suppose it's in your blood. My parents couldn't find me for those years, either."
The kid glared at me. "I'm not anything like you."
I looked off to the side, "If you're not going to admit it, fine...I don't care. The point is that I came back for you. Do you want to come with me?"
"No way. I would hate to ever be introduced as your son, much less live under your roof." He answered indignantly. He would never know it, but that thrust like a knife into me. I didn't want to hear that out of his mouth.
"Alright. Well...here is the town," I answered, scrawling the location on a small scrap of paper. "That way, you will know where to find me. I come here to London every year to trade; you may come home with me then, if you wish. If not, a tradeship to Greece would get you there; though I would prefer if you wrote to me before you left so I would know where to meet you." I knew my instructions were probably lost on him, but he took the paper quietly and nodded.
I stood up to leave; I had miles to travel before I could turn in for the night. As I exited, I felt a tug on the cloak I was wearing, and turned.
There he stood, head bent, feet shuffling from side to side...not barefoot, like I remember him, but well-clothed. Acknowledging all this, it was still the same way of standing.
"Peter...thank you."
Letting the words sink in, I was surprised. I didn't have much experience with kids, and he was no exception, only that he was my own, whether I believed it or not. Stopped by the queerness of his gratitude, and the fact he used my first name, I had to ask, "why?"
"B-because....that time...when you visited. Those men were going to hurt me. So...thank you for at least doing something respectable."
I couldn't quite believe it, but I smiled anyway.
He groaned, "Don't look like that! It's not as if I look up to you or anything...so go back to where you came from! Like you'll ever see me again; I don't care about where you live or whether you come back or not or anything." He finished, turning away and marching off, up the stairs of the inn and probably to his room where he friends were. I still smiled, even though I knew he would never be normal because of what I did.
Heading out into the rain, I saddled my horse and rode away; the burden gone from my shoulders at last. Squinting in the downpour, I sighed as the curtain did close on my commitment free life, and hopefully opened to something new...something right.

So, a story I came up with while sitting around not doing anything...I hope it's good-no names were mentioned and that's a feat for me. =)

Today

2011-06-06T21:31:00.000-04:00

Today I cleaned my room while listening to music. It was really fun because I haven't spent that much time in my room in a while...and I haven't listened to any of my CDs in a while, either.
I actually got some math done today, and then I went bike riding around town with a friend. It was SO much fun; beautiful sun, a slight breeze, and no wrecks whatsoever!
I then came home and cleaned the kitchen, and then back to my friend's house (go figure) for piano lessons. XD Lessons went well and then I had a delicious supper here at home.
So my day went VERY well, to spite all other things and such...

Chautauqua is coming soon. The day that the art contest stops taking entries in June 16....that's ten days. Last year I entered two drawings and one of which won the Award of Merit, but I don't know if I should even enter another, and I don't know what to draw! Lately I have totally lacked inspiration, too, lol. Maybe it'll come to me soon.
Right now I'm kind-of...between, when it comes to feelings. I'm so happy for this day and this week and how wonderful things are going. I'm also kind-of nervous, and I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about certain future-things. I'm sad, because sometimes things happen that you cannot undo (please be in prayer for someone I know who has gotten into some trouble that can't be undone). I'm super-excited about Conference, too. It's this mixed up, wishy-washy feeling between worry, sorrow, and total ecstasy. Part of me is afraid of the unknown, another part of me...I can't describe it. I want to jump into anything and never lose another chance.
And then I'm dreamy. I feel like running to the top of a hill and screaming at the top of my lungs and I just want to go on an on and on and never stop...but I don't know what I want to keep doing. I guess feeling happy and young and joyous.
God has given me a really amazing imagination. Sometimes, it's the reason I feel so wishy-washy like I do right now...but right now, it's because of the current events that have happened which are so sad.
Sometimes, I come up with mental images that horrify&scare me to death (imagine that, me scaring myself. Hey, it happens). Other times, they are pretty pictures, or little memories. Sometimes, these turn into story ideas.
I'm also pretty darn observant. I tend to notice the oddest things-the color of her eyes, the way he plays with the hair at the nape of his neck when he's nervous, how her teeth aren't straight but I've always thought her beautiful anyway, how he has a dark blemish on his shoulder, how he tends to smile to one side...and not just those kinds of observances, but those of people's personalities; how different they are from others and how alike they are. What makes my best friends laugh, and how they react to something they're scared of...just so many different little things.
Most people I think are a tad creeped out when they hear me say this stuff. Well, let me put one thing straight; I'm not like this all the time. I'm not constantly categorizing and remembering everything...I do relax on occasion! So don't be creeped out. I probably will never use anything against you, since if I notice you, I probably LIKE you. In a friendly way.

Explaining-of-self-rants. Yeah. XD

Anyway, I haven't done any writing recently really. Some editing in my fanfiction so I can update it soon, some more fanfiction short stories, and then a little planning in Lineage...but nothing extreme. I really just want to go hide when it comes to Lineage, lol. Alastair HATES me for all I've done to him and has totally run out of steam...plus, I think I revealed his past too quickly, hahahah.

-Argentia Krystofel

Blah blah blah...

2011-06-01T20:34:00.001-04:00

I changed my profile picture to a self-portrait, since Sasuke was getting REALLY old. *grin*

So today I ended up getting my contacts "fixed" (they're STILL bugging me...maybe even more now!!!). I'm still going to wear them but not as frequently as I had hoped. I can't believe I walked in there and thought-Yay, contacts, I won't have to wear glasses and everything will be just perfect~!

Yeah. My life doesn't work that way, sadly.>.<

The good, uplifting, joyful news today-I baked banana bread. Two loaves-one just banana, the other with chocolate chips included. It was a lot of fun though a tad bit tiring in the summer heat...I'm sooooo thankful for our AC.

Lately, Lineage has been bugging me. I totally feel like I'm not writing anything up to par (and let's face it; I've been writing for an hour or so every TWO WEEKS) and that the storyline...well, is a flop.

The story of my story is...cliche. Cliche is loosing it's feel to all the different, amazing, never cliche in the slightest stories out there...so maybe it isn't so bad to be cliche?

The Western places of the continent are ravaged with disorder. With no king, the people have been living in chaos with no intervention for sixteen years. By this time, the government has totally collapsed; every noble that would take the place of the king would be killed off by his fellow man, and the cycle continued until the people no longer care who claims to be king-it doesn't matter if they possess no power or authority.
Adrian Kempf-Amundr is a young man from the Southernmost reaches of the continent. Here he grew up, and here he learned of the ways of the strong, freedom-loving, semi-self governed peoples; a picture of what the West once was. From a very young age he wanted to change things for the struggling people; imagine his surprise when he finds he has the ability to unlock a strange power from a glowing rock which could, in the long run, benefit this goal. Formally known as the Shard of Dreams, Master Kempf soon becomes skilled in this 'magic'. About this time, Adrian, at age twelve, overhears his parent's conversation one night. He discovers the troubling truth-he is the rightful heir to the empty throne of the havoc-ridden Western lands.
Now with many questions, but no answers whatsoever, he decided that as soon as his parents allowed, he would set out on conquest to reunite the lands so they may prosper again.
An unexpected event takes place after leaving at age sixteen. Adrian meets a street urchin named Starr; she doesn't know her last name or even her exact age, but she does share one single thing in common; a power that no one else understands nor can describe.
Both determined to find answers to their many questions, Starr and Adrian decide to journey together and along the way pick up many others; Royale Watershed, a man who is strangely loyal to Adrian and associates himself with being a servant to him, Alastair, a dark elf of the east, and Misti, childhood playmate and lifelong friend to Adrian.

That I would say is the synopsis...a little long, yeah, I'd need to shorten it for a book cover, but in a beginning-storyline sense this is it. I KNOW it's totally cliche...but I need to keep writing. I want to finish this thing more than ever now that a friend of a friend has finisher HER book...and it took her two years. I'm pushing the two year point right now-December will mark two years of "writing" in my story. I put writing in quotations because it's really been so off-and-on that it makes me wanna hide. I have a lot set up-I mean a LOT. I even have last names for almost all my characters! (and I am a stickler on last names...names in general. It took me the first year to come up with Alastair a name-thankfully he comes much later in the story. He still doesn't have a last name. I'm going with something Scandinavian or Celtic I think, but it's hard with all those accent-marks and stuff).

It's just a matter of bucking it up, facing the fact that I'm not perfect, and plowing through the thing. It all looks so crisp and clean and perfect-fantasy-like when I look at it from the outside-when I start writing it out I don't do the mental image justice. >.<

Anyway...if anyone feels like commenting with advice or even just telling me in person/on chat, it would be greatly appreciated. Even without advice...even just cheering about my banana bread...please, someone!!! lol (I'm totally exaggerating!)

~A.K.~ (doesn't anyone notice I have Adrian's initials? *huge grin with hugs for Adrian*)

P.S. Some of you will notice that I did a "little story" on here back in either 09 or 08 with characters named Starr and Adrian. Yes, that is the same story...sort-of. I must say there has been so much changed in my mind and in a few edits (I don't like editing as I go-prefer to review the whole thing) that it barely resembles what I have now. :)

Topic=People Who Tick Me Off!

2011-05-31T12:23:00.000-04:00

People who tick me off-

1.Those that think they're smarter than everyone else.
2. Jerks who play with innocent inferiority complex ridden girls like they're toys!
3. People who don't have any backbone and never stand up for themselves.
4. The ones that hear only what they hear (which is normally not the truth!).
5. The people that think other people think exactly like they do.

Ummmm...rant? Shoutout? Venting, perhaps?

Probably all three. But what I can say is-Good grief! Disfunctioning people all around me and none of them care to clear it up. There isn't a way to understand or fix or just plain shout it out other than to put myself and the other person in the line of fire. And though I know that I could tough it out, I don't think it's very Christian like to do so to the other person...the don't need a second stressful argument on their hands and I don't want friendships ruined (to spite the fact that it would be all the fault of the ole' meany and not mine nor the other persons).

Oh, well. Please tolerate me, folks. I'll get over this crap eventually. *sulks in corner* Especially since it isn't even my own...it's many different friend's problems!
Poor friends.

~A.K.~

Stay close to me...

2011-05-25T18:05:00.000-04:00

Eyes open wide, blinded by the sun now
Orange and white, dark red, green and yellow
Rainbow colors! Do not hide, see the view!
Step aside, go through!

Against the light, too strong, blow a fuse now
Everything bright, new songs, burning shoes
The look in your eyes! Break our bones into half!
Scream and shout and do laugh!

Let yourself... go (Oh Oh Oh)
Let yourself... go (Oh Oh Oh)

Stay close to me
Count one, two and three
Up in through your sleeves
Bursting through the seams
Open your eyes and see - You see

Inn um ermar, upp hryggjarsúluna
Yfir skóg, flæðir niður brekkuna
Allt upp í loft! Ég mun aldrei gleyma!
Því ég mun aldrei!

Hleypur um, rífur, leysir flækjurnar
(Upp með rótum) með blik í augum!
Stórmerki, undur, brjótum bein í sundur!

Let yourself... go (Oh Oh Oh)
Let yourself... go (Oh Oh Oh)

Stay close to me
Count one, two and three
Up in through your sleeves
Bursting through the seams
Open your eyes and see

Stay close to me
Count one, two and three
Up in through your sleeves
Right beyond the trees
Show you how you'll be

Stay close to me
Count one, two and three
Up in through your sleeves
Bursting through the seams
Open your eyes and see - You see

Stay close to me : Count one, two, three
Up in your sleeves : You're right beyond trees
Stay close to me : Count one, two, three
Up in your sleeves : Burst through the seams

Open your eyes and see
You see - You see

Sticks&Stones by Jonsi ( featured in How to Train Your Dragon) ...on the beginning of my playlist this year. ^.^

~A.K.~

A Picture Paints 1000 Words

2011-05-23T19:38:00.000-04:00

I heard the statement over and over during those early years when I truly began working hard at drawing and just wanted to spend a little time to contemplate the meaning of this phrase.

Sure, sometimes it's easier for me, being both a writer AND an artist, to draw rather than write. The picture is right there, in my head, and I put it onto paper, giving all the necessary elements to the picture to cause others to react to the drawing and understand the drawing the way I intended.
But I've heard a lot of writers say that putting a thousand words into a picture isn't possible. I am also a writer, so I can understand this stance, too.

I guess it isn't possible. I don't know. Maybe five hundred words, but not one thousand. Having done NaNoWriMo, I've written one thousand words a day plenty enough to know it can be remarkably hard. I think that you can communicate a lot through a drawing...and it can be pretty intense to be the one drawing the picture.

When I drew my most recent picture-A centre-split portrait of Harry Osborne/Green Goblin, holding The Green in his hand, I was VERY wrapped up in the picture. All of Harry's feelings, and his addiction to the drug, were running through my mind, and I really loved doing it. I don't know if I painted 1000 words...but it sure felt like it!!!!

~A.K.~

A Post

2011-05-08T23:06:00.000-04:00

It has come to my attention that I haven't posted in...well, ages. So...I'm sorry. But I don't have anything particularly to post about. It's been a particularly interesting May. Happy Birthday to my Dad and the many other birthday-people in my family for this month.

Even though every normal girl tends to talk about things she's excited about, or become excited over things that are going to be happening soon...I must say I am neither excited, nor dreading them. I get this churning, sour feeling in my stomach when I think any further than that. >.<

Goodnight!

~A.K.~ (I'll try to come up with more interesting posts, but I doubt it will happen soon. Just wanted to say, yeah, I'm alive.)

Don't Cry for Me

2011-04-27T10:45:00.001-04:00

Don't cry for me.

She looks up, the tears running down her cheeks. No one is there, and the sounds of people in the streets continue. A shout, a call, and an animal's cry, all come through the open window and grace her ears with the knowledge that the whole world is moving on without her. No one knows her pain in full.

Don't cry for me.

The golden sunlight creeps over the floorboards, bathing the room in the light of an otherwise perfect day. But her heart is torn.
One last attempt to keep herself. One last attempt to rebuild those walls around herself. One last attempt to find kindness through her own. And it's thrown away.

"Why?" She chokes out, before burying her face in her hands again. She's young now. She doesn't realize what else is in store for her; how much this time will strengthen her in the future.
That's what the older girl thinks, as stoop to peep through the crack in the attic door. Part of her feels for the younger. There is something in her tears that she relates to, something she can understand fully.
Yet the younger girl was so foolish. How could she stretch out her hand to someone who was bound to swat it away?
The older brushes her black hair behind an ear as she stands up. Knowing that comforting the other won't help, she makes her way down the stairs.
"Is she coming?" He asks.
"No. She's not."

The younger opens her eyes to find she had fallen asleep. Darkness had settled. She turned to the window to close the shutters, and as she looks up she beholds the sky. Stars, billions of them, all blinking and winking down at her.
I'll never let this happen again.
Is the quiet thought that enters her mind. She's surprised by her own boldness. Never?
Never. Never again.

~A.K.~

Gray, Gris, Grau, Haiiro, Llwyld, Gri, Grijs

2011-04-25T13:14:00.000-04:00

All words for gray.

Circular saws, Nerf and Happy Birthday Bro!

2011-04-22T15:50:00.003-04:00

So! Today and yesterday have been...a big deal, to say the least. My bro, The Confederate, wanted to have Cyll and Nate over for his fourteenth birthday, so that's what we did!
Yesterday we went to pick Nate up at 11:00AM. Coming home around twelve, I started on dishes while they headed to Lowes to get stuff for my mom's raised bed gardens out back (summer project). Afterwards, I went out back to help her cut the boards and nail/screw together said planks to form some less than perfect boxes. Okay, so I have this fear of circular saws.

A circular saw from Black and Decker. Idk where ours is from.

There's a reason for this. One, I don't like electric blades of any sort. The malfunctions that can happen with elecricity are too numerous. Two, one of my favorite cartoon voice actors, Aaron Dismuke, ran a circular saw about an inch up his hand; in the part between the first finger and thumb. He was making a shelf in his grandmother's basement and it kicked back. That is, believe it or not, one of the CREEPIEST things on earth to me. XD

Anyway, we had to use a circular saw on the 2x4's and it definitely freaked me out enough when it kicked to make me incredibly energized by the time Cyll got there. Afterwards was craziness of Nerf, then FINALLY lunch (@ 3PM!). Afterwards I practiced piano, went back outside and played soccer (which gave me a nice scratch and several bruises) and then made...four? five? six? pizzas, all monster size. Mom handled about half the toppings, while I made dough, rolled out several of them, and topped about two. You would think *that* would be a good experience...Oh, no. Then we went up to the church to play Nerf zombie's...
In.
The.
Dark.

It.
Was.
Epic.

Especially when we all tackled Avery in the front window while these four guys with dogs looked on...I think they thought we were crazy...but we're teenagers. What else can we say?
At about 9:15PM we headed home for showers...and mom had some brush to burn in the backyard. Gradually, all of us but sleeping Daddy made our way outside to watch the bonfire. And, since our locks are weird, we managed to get ourselves locked out. Not a window unlocked. Not a door open. No key hidden anywhere. Darkness setting in. Fire burning low. >.< Needless to say, my imagination went a little wild. Though, my admiration for a few people's skills in organization and leadership in such a situation was increased.
By the end, we just tapped on Daddy's second-story window with a long pole until he woke up and opened the door. He was VERY grouchy. XD So finally we made it inside. I took a shower, then got my comp for a little down-time. Then I knocked out to sleep.
This morning I woke up at about 10. Coming down stairs, I sat down in the den and listened to my mom read her Bible out loud. Then Cyll came in and we sat down for a long discussion between all of us...on some very fascinating topics, lol. Afterwards, Mom, Lilly, Simon and myself all went in the playroom to watch Tangled. The boys meandered in and out, taking turns in their multiplayer game (I live in a house of gamers, all save my dad, and all my guy-friends are gamers. Help me someone. :P-Defeated cry of a girl trying to survive with gamers).
Then I went upstairs again to my comp, once more seeking solitude (I'm a quiet sort of person). After that, I talked to Mom for a while and then watched a bit of a game of Risk. Mostly it was just Cyll and I fooling around. >.< We do that sort of thing rather often. :P
Generally, I never want to forget these two days. They were crazy, yes...but really, really fun. :)

Now...the house feels very quiet! :( Oh, well. I'll try to get some writing done now and then practice piano. Plus, I got some schoolwork to do! XD

~A.K.

Saturday!

2011-04-17T17:44:00.000-04:00

So I'm listening to music and writing in my Sigma 6 fanfiction story. I'm actually half-way through...still have a ways because of the ever-increasing plot, but overall I think I'll be done within two months. :D But anyway, today was THE BEST Saturday! I got laundry done for me, my sister and my bros, cleaned my room, made pizza for supper, tied up a gazillion loose ends, called my big brother on the phone and found my colored pencil box. Ooooh, I'm so happy!

Now my bros are watching Spiderman, lol. I love the animated Spiderman. Its so cute. =3

Generally, my week was incredibly interesting. I mostly sat around until yesterday, which ended up to be the most emotionally trying day of the week. Basically, I had to meet up with some family that I'm not on good terms with and ended up getting almost manipulated into committing to some stuff I didn't want to commit to. But at the end of the day things turned out okay. :)

EDIT:Posting this on Sunday because Saturday I got busy. XD Today was also good, albeit a bit detached on my part. XD So, yes. Maybe I'll have somehting more interesting to say later this week! lol

~A.K.~

Sunburnt!

2011-04-04T21:48:00.000-04:00

Yet oh so happy! Today was amazing! We all went down to a friend's farm to help them with their goats...they have four almost new babies; Clara (white), Heidi (white), Charlotte (black) and Ryan (brown). I'm sorry...but baby miniature goats are just. too. cute. Especially Ryan...I wanted to hold him forever and give him lots of kisses. He already has these little, itty bitty horns coming up, but you cant see them through his fur. He has little black 'boots' and a black stripe down his back and SO adorable. =3
After helping with the goats we went down and explored the creek...then back up to the miniature horse-pin (everything they have is so little and cute, hahaha), and back away again to the pond. There we waded in our boots for a while before deciding it looked much to inviting on such a hot day and went wading barefoot in the sandy parts. XD It was so fun to sit with our feet dangling off the dock, toes skimming the cold water, watching the little kids splash around. Sadly, I got sunburnt, but overall we had a wonderful time. (Welsh people burn very easily, you know!)

After that I headed to piano lessons. My teacher drove me home because it was beginning to rain and the wind was blowing SUPER strongly. For a moment, I stood on the front porch and thought-Oh, wow! This sure is beautiful!
The wind was blowing my bangs in my eyes, my hood all around my face. The rain was softly beating against my bare legs while I clutched the necklace about my neck. So cool!
Now I'm all cosy at my computer, listening to wind, rain and the normal noises around my house, talking with one of my best friends about many things...some deep, important issues, and others light and rather simple to figure out.
And, to spite all the pros and cons, I can't help but think how greatly blessed I am. Makes me happy. :)

~A.K.~

What to do, what to do!!!

2011-04-02T13:52:00.001-04:00

Alas, when the romantic plot turns sketchy and that bratty little girl is causing someone to think they aren't really in love!

Hahahah, sorry. I'm watching Kimi ni Todoke (pronounced keemee nee toe-doe-kay), which is a romance anime that is one of the best! The characters are endearing, the show is easy to watch...yes, it's pretty cliche, but sometimes I think relaxing plot that you can easily interpret is good for the brain!
So far I'm only on episode...eleven? But I hope that by the end of the second season I can give Kimi ni Todoke the same praises I am now!
One thing that life teaches us, and this anime really pushes, is how assumptions ruin things. I'm saying this from a first-person, hard, cold truth perspective-They really do. There's so much that is blackened, blotted, by our assumptions. I know that MY sinful mind just seems to be attracted to interpreting everything to be much more serious and wrong than it is!

My hope is that someday, through Christ, I can stop being so easily swayed to think bad of others or ASSUME that they think a certain way, feel a certain way. It's horrible, isn't it? Sometimes it just makes me want to go hide; how people can constantly forget to ask exactly what's going on! I know would rather have the truth with a bit of.. 'Um, that was an odd question!' rather than the lies with no confirmation. Sadly, so often my best intentions aren't the intentions that I go with! I forget to keep my sight on Him and...Poof! There it goes! Everything! lol So, so true how much we really need God...everything is a wreck without Him.

Also, I've found that lately I can't think clearly. I keep over-thinking and under-thinking...a big foggy cloud resides in my brain and none of the drivers can see the road, blah. :P But yet I'm super hyper!!! XD I guess that's just my oddity shining through. Right now, I'm hoping to start checking some Math papers...maybe I'll get a few good grades...>.> lol

Another note (or two! Or three!) before I go...I closed my Facebook account! No, it's not anything anyone said! I just want to be able to devote more time to my studies...am I starting to sound too good? Well, I'm really not too happy about closing it, so lol. I'm not an angel. XD Mostly, I just am realizing that my mom and dad are really determined about my education, and my fear of letting them down is greater than my fear of not socializing properly.
Two-I changed blog colors and name. I really can't remember quite well where I got my 'In Sunlight Golden' thing...probably from some memories of spring somewhere. Doesn't it seem like those beautiful moments always happen when the weather is just right? hahaha, I'm digressing again!
Three-I changed my playlist and I made pocky the other day! XD Boy, pocky is HARD. though, I don't think I'm gonna give up on it too soon! It seems like it will get more fun. As to my playlist, my favorite songs so far are Stolen (ask about the story behind it. I'll tell.), What If (because it's so darn HEARTBREAKING! XD), and Kimi ni Todoke...because, of course, it makes me think of the anime. =3

~A.K.~

Alice in Wonderland!!!

2011-03-28T22:09:00.000-04:00

I just finished watching Alice in Wonderland (2010), and I must say it was amazing. I loved it. The oddities, the bright colors, the points made...it's great! We even got some discussion in on the original writer of Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll (Charles Dodgson) My mother told me he was believed to also be 'somewhat crazy', which didn't surprise me. I have no idea why Alice in Wonderland appeals to me...it's so WEIRD. But something about it calls out to a part of me that loves those weird things.

Also, I think the lines...

The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
[Alice checks Hatter's temperature]
Alice Kingsley: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

I think I know a few 'Mad Hatter's. ;)

~A.K.~

Magpies and Eccles Cakes

2011-03-26T22:35:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhB_trnDvDI

Beautiful, clean song. Peaceful, clean video. Very, very nicely done. I love the Smittens. :3

So, this week we were on a tech ban. No computers or movies or TV for five days. Trust me, by day two I thought I was going to DIE of boredom...but by today, I feel pretty good about it. I was able to clear my head of all the confusion that I seem to experience when I spend too much time on the computer...I DID miss my friend's comic updates, but hey, when I came back there were TWO pages instead of one!!!! YES! lol I also was able to focus more on Christ than other things...I can make an idol out of socializing.

Only problem is is that I have tried TWICE to start writing a story, but have been unable to! And it's been the SAME story! I almost want to give up! I can't get the story out and I'm too tired to draw anything. hahahah, but that is where my stubbornness comes in. NO WAY am I giving up on writing something. XD

~A.K.~

Happy (Belated) White Day!!!!

2011-03-15T15:48:00.000-04:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Day

White Day is celebrated in Japan. (And Korea)...but I'm sure that this White Day was not as wonderful as White Days past. Please, PLEASE be in prayer for the Japanese! Since prayer is powerful, and it is all I can do at present, I am praying hard! Please pray as well.

Also...I think I'm going to go off FB for a while again...can't stand the headaches of social networking and all the teen dramas my friends have been having recently are making it difficult to do anything on FB. Anyways, enjoy my posts on here and my blog color changes, if you like.

All the best,
Argentia Krystofel :)

Slow moving...

2011-03-13T17:09:00.000-04:00

So, DST has me all mixed up today! >.< Had a good time talking with my friend-We're going to do a photo shoot together next time we meet! I'm excited. XD

I'm listening to the song What If by Safetysuit lately..can't say anything for the group, since I haven't listened to any of their other songs, but 'What If' is really touching when set to Itachi and Sasuke...also, it reminds me of certain friendships.
They do want something that makes you sad...something that might be dangerous, even if it's for the good of others, but still...you can't help but feel sad. The prospect of losing contact with them, or actually losing them, is scary.

At least it's good to know that we can always call upon the Lord! ^.^

No matter what, He does hear prayers! I always am comforted when I realize that. So very often I have fears that I'm going to be alone oneday, without anyone to help me or be friends with me, no one to talk my troubles over with, and no shoulders to cry on. But I know that...
1.
6 Give ear, O LORD, unto my prayer; and attend to the voice of my supplications.
7 In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me.-Psalm 86 KJV (Sermon was on Psalm 86 today, btw!)

And 2...He IS my Friend. My greatest Friend. :) And worrying like that is simply selfish. Yes, I said it!!! O.O The 'S' word!!! lol But seriously! Worrying about ME being alone and all by myself isn't thinking about others...there are a lot of people right now that are very lonely.

So I take comfort in that. Doesn't change the fact that I love the song! >.< Ah, serious note. Do be in prayer for the Japanese...this has been devastating! I pray that through this, though, they would come to realize who rules this universe, and who commands the waters. They really need Him.

Well, today was really, really warm....I am almost convinced that Spring will actually eventually peek out from under Winter and show it's pretty face. Until then...on the warm days, I'll put on a short-sleeved shirt and dance in the sun, and on the cold ones I'll grab some hot chocolate and my ever-warm netbook...sometimes I worry that he's overheating or something because we both generate so much warmth..between us, ain't no cold we cannot defeat! :P

Ahem. If you read this post, thanks. :) You have been awarded the badge of tolerating......a very bouncy thought-process, to say the least!

-Argent K. <3

I was sure by now...

2011-03-06T17:11:00.001-05:00

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus]

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

[Chorus 2x]

This song...makes me cry. Yes, it does. But when it started to 'rain' a while back...I heard the chorus of this song going through my head. Yes, again, I did cry. But...the peace that God gives me from this is...awesome. Just purely awesome.
Finally (I don't have that much to say right now...haha) The lines-
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

are really nice in there. Verses from the Word of God are ALWAYS comforting!
-Argentia Krystofel

Young Justice Rant

2011-03-01T12:26:00.001-05:00

(This rant is about Young Justice, the new superhero show on Cartoon Network. I know absolutely nothing about the real Justice League so if you're a fanatic...this is about Young Justice, which isn't based on any comics and is about the 'sidekicks' of the Justice League members, not the members themselves)

Well, I think anyone who's watching this show knows about Superboy. Since he is really one of those dark handsome boys that is bound to intrigue everyone, I decided to rant about him first.
So far, in the show, his history is thus-He was created by Cadmus via DNA stolen from Superman. Within a 16 week period he was formed, with Geognomes force-feeding information about the world that he would eventually come to live in.
No parents.
No family.
Unless of course you count old Superman...and I'll stop because from there on out things get really weird.
It's obvious he got his personality from his 'father'. Dark, brooding, slightly masochistic when he needs to be...he's just waiting for some poor girl to come along and put her all into drawing out that little sunshine she sees in his rare smiles. Now, is it just me, or is he just terribly ROMANTIC?!?!? XD He's the perfect romance novel character! He's got a past that's (somehow) hurt him, no family (oh really?), and absolutely no one to comfort him (well, he would if he'd only stop being such a monastic). Reality is in the parentheses, people!
Though as a character, I do like Superboy. He has some real depth. It's just that his character will need a little more work to please me completely. His type is just a bit cliche, though I tend to find some good things about them. When he does finally come out of his dark phase, I hope he stays nice and quiet. I really like how shy he is. >.<
I do with Miss Martian wouldn't waste her time on him, though...
As for Superman's place in all this, I wish he would step up to the plate. I never knew a Superman that was this duty-shirking and it drives me crazy. Putting myself in his shoes, I would be a little weirded out that this 'son' had been created without me even knowing or having any involvement in it, but that doesn't excuse the fact that he now has an obligation to teaching this boy what he needs to know so that he might, eventually, become a replacement. You have to plan ahead for the future be you from Krypton or not.

So that is my rant. Next week, after the newest episode of YJ, I guess I'll be doing another rant. And if at all possible, this time I shall write about Robin...who throughout time has never ceased to be somehow on my favorites list....

-Argentia Krystofel

I wrote a song....

2011-02-27T17:01:00.000-05:00

Dare you to
Actually pick up the
Phone

Ask you to
Really mean it when you're
Gone

Come out of your hole
Come out into the light

Come out of that place
Throw it all out of sight

Please someone
Hold you, tell you what you're
Worth

Get up now
There's a reason for your
Birth

Come out of your room
Come out of your night

Come out of this dark
Come on, you'll be alright

Come out
Come on
I love you
Don't go
There....

Come out of your room
Count out of your night

Come out of this dark
Come on,
You'll be,
Alright.

So I was bored! >.<

And I am beginning to not like >.< face...

-Argentia Krystofel

Wind

2011-02-25T13:47:00.000-05:00

There's always something happening. Right now, the wind is blowing really hard outside, causing many things to be pushed about. Sometimes, I spend my time applying the weather to people, which may seem strange, but is an interesting thing to compare upon. Think about the wind when it is strongly blowing. It is almost moody; blowing fiercely one moment and completely quiet the next. But only for a short time does it stop in it's rampage. I used to think that I would be blown away by the wind when I was a child-though now I know that isn't true, it's still interesting to think about in a rhetorical sense. A person sometimes says they are 'blown away' by another, either in a good or bad way. 'She blows me away with her complicated theories and logic', 'He blew me away with his dashing looks', or...'they blew us away with their loud screams as we stepped onto that glittering stage'.

I am right now thinking about how I have been blown away throughout my life. Swept up is another good word to describe my reaction to meeting some people. I know that when I met one girl, my first reaction wasn't very 'blown away' or 'swept up'. But I found as the quiet girl opened up that her inner world was quite the type to blow away a person like me. I had not imagined that there was so much to her and am still learning!

At any rate, I'm also a little bored! But when am I not? lol
I have drawn a few things recently but I don't have pictures on my mini (who STILL needs a name, hahahah!).

Well...will try to post again soon. :)

Valentine's Day

2011-02-12T11:14:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day! I must say, my Valentine's Day is going quite well this year. Or should I call it Valentine's weekend? ahahaha. I feel like I'm celebrating Valentine's for three days instead of one! On Valentine's itself I plan to do some awesome baking and sweet-making, and then, in one week we are going to my Grandparent's house for a 'real' Valentine's party! Plus, there's some cool stuff going on tonight, too. =3
Right now, I am contemplating the meaning of Valentine's Day. Truthfully, the last time I was told the story was about four or five years ago, and I don't remember the details. As far as I know, St. Valentine was a really loving person so they made a celebration day for him which thru commercialism evolved into this huge pink, red, and white thing.
I can tell you, however, the way the Japanese celebrate Valentine's Day. Unlike here in America and in Europe, where the men give the women gifts on Valentine's, in Japan the women give the men chocolates. Funny, eh? Well, truth is that it's all a big marketing strategy to sell a lot of chocolate! The women/girls are expected to give candy to their fathers, brothers and coworkers. Classmates and others I'm not sure about. So along with your significant other, girls, you'd be giving chocolate to lots of other males! Talk about blowing the budget, especially if your chocolates are expensive European ones. Though, if you want to express your love to that someone who is more special than all the others, you make your chocolate gift. This is viewed as much more endearing because you spent time and effort on them.
So where do all the customs and manners of Japan come in? White Day! March 14th, one month after Valentine's, is when males are expected to return the gifts of chocolate given, and typically their return gifts are expected to be much more expensive. (Googled this)-Traditionally, gifts are white chocolate, cookies, jewellery and marshmallows. The phrase sanbai gaeshi is typically refered to, since it means thrice more. This indicates that a White Day present should be either twice or three times as much as a Valentine's chocolate was. In South Korea, this day is also celebrated, with the men giving candy instead of chocolate.-

Cool, eh? Personally, I like the way WE celebrate Valentine's Day...there's only ONE day for giving and getting, and we don't have to worry about status and who will be put out if we don't get them something!

So, I hope you enjoy your Valentine's Day and that information above. I'm gonna try to make fudge sometime later-Let's hope it works out- but don't worry, I don't have any Valentines in mind.;) Just the deadline of my Grandparent's party! hahaha

-Argent~

Just stop...

2011-02-01T18:19:00.001-05:00

Have you ever stared at something that makes you upset to the core and said, passionately...

Just stop.

The truth of the matter is that we cannot stop things ourselves sometimes. The hopeful solution to this problem is, that God is in control. We don't need to worry ourselves out of our minds at night, thinking about those things we can't stop.

Recently, very very very special people in my life have been undergoing 'attacks' that are very disturbing to me. Internal, external, either way, these things are having a profound effect on the ones I love. I find myself saying 'Just stop!' quite often.
Aside from feeling totally helpless and unable to do anything, I also feel hurt. These people are not only friends to me. They are brothers and sisters in Christ. You hurt them, and you're indirectly hurting...me.

A man of too many friends comes to ruin,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. -Proverbs 18:24

I don't hate some of the people that are mistreating my friends; some of them are also my brothers and sisters in Christ. But that doesn't change the fact that they're still hurting them.

As I said earlier, thankfully, I have Christ to turn to. No matter what happens to people I love; whether they go rouge and stop talking to me, or are leaning on me for support (which I don't mind in the slightest) I can still pour it all out before Him and He does comfort me. I remember being totally amazed when one time I was very aggravated/hurt over the way someone was acting. I prayed that I would have peace over this particular person, and believe it or not, I didn't stay up till 2 the next morning worrying over it (a typical thing with me).

So, I guess through all my rambling I'm trying to say that nothing can happen that will wound you so much that Christ can't fix it. He's always there when you need someone to lean on, when it feels like the world is crashing down on you. This is a valuable lesson that I'm still learning.

In peace I will both lie down and sleep,
For You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety. -Psalm 4:8

Besides all that, I'm sick with a cold, yet happy. One of my best friends is having a birthday. I'm so thankful he and his family moved here-they've been such a blessing. Knowing them for 8 years is a wonder to me. Normally, it seems that people come and go, never staying. But they have not. Moreover, I've found true friends in them; friends I would trust with anything if need be. They're just really awesome. ^.^

-Argentia Krystofel ♥

A Moment In Time...

2011-01-30T19:48:00.000-05:00

For a moment in time, he stands there, his gray eyes cold and unforgiving.
For a moment in time, she begs of him, pleads that he will pardon her wrong. She never meant to hurt him; reopen such deep wounds in his soul.
For a moment in time, afternoon sunlight covers them both, warming things ironically. Yet, down below, she can hear the powerful waves beating against the shore, cold, firm and resolved, like his gaze so scornful.
For a moment, everything hangs in the balance, neither willing to break. But that moment is fleeting; time must always go on. The floodgates are let loose; their waters pioneer streams down her flushed cheeks.
For a moment, she contemplates how lonely it is to cry alone.
"Crap." He says defiantly, then sighs. He holds out his arms to her, a look of resignation on his face. She races into those arms, burying her face in his cotton t-shirt.
"I'm sorry!" She chokes out, the tears unrelenting.
"I know...me, too." He says quietly.
For a moment...nay, longer than that, they stand together with arms about each other, taking joy in the glory of forgiveness.

-Argentia Krystofel ♥

Oh! The Exaggeration (And thoughts on geeks)

2011-01-20T22:03:00.000-05:00

Oh, the exaggeration I go through.

Oh, the exaggeration I create.

Oh, how funny it is sometimes

Oh, wherever can it originate?

^Random poems are fun things. I almost want to write one about geeks. Lately, I feel, and remember, a girls second calling is to exaggerate, that they are on the rise. No, wait. That they have almost conquered. Like a massive wave they have come upon us, and they have been recognized for their competence, their techiness, their intelligence, and their awkwardness.
It's been seen throughout history that people with a cause they feel passionate about, no matter how ostracized, are generally excepted by the majority at some point. This, I am afraid, is what has happened to geeks.
Just think about the comedy Chuck (which I wouldn't recommend to ANYONE aka not a good show in my opinion). See what I mean? Geeks are being widely recognized as cool and, since our culture has a habit of feeling that everyone and everything (no matter how odd or vile or just plain stupid), needs to be accepted, geeks are being, well, accepted.
What happens when a group so proud of their differences, their oddities, and their weirdness suddenly become mainstream? Why, they lose their set-apart nature and become normal, making room for another thing that has gone out of style to come back in.
Now, I will confess that computer geeks (as I am referring to as just 'geeks' in this post) are definitely *different* when compared to other groups that were/are considered different. They work with computers, something we never had before the 20th century. That's definitely ALWAYS going to set them apart from past 'weirdos'. But future ones? We'll see.
I also wonder what the next wave of strange to popular will be...

I guess I have to let you know that this isn't geek-bashing. My 'older brother' (aka, best friend) is a comp geek and proud of it, too. This post is simply getting out a thought that has been on my mind for about three hours...and I hate to have things linger on my mind for too long when it's okay to let them out.
So, enjoy the rambling....sorry if I stepped on toes, I didn't mean to. I just meant to meditate for a while on the constant cycle of culture...how some people long for acceptance, and are accepted, and how others don't, and yet still get brought into the big circle of happy, loving and totally crazy people. >.<

Also, I've been thinking about my serious male characters lately and realized they aren't serious enough! I also realized that Adrian and Alastair's conditions are redundant, not similare, yet all I've written so far and all I will write further relies on their pasts. *groan* I guess I must keep plowing on...even if I hate the web I've weaved for myself to work with. =P
On the other hand, Royale and Ayame are doing well...even if Ayame is a bit cold with Royale right now. Hopefully she'll start to like him (and eventually love him) once he saves her life a few times. Hahaha
On another note, I like double chocolate brownies, and birthdays of other people (I don't like my birthday; it's annoying) and I also like staying over at other people's houses.

So there. *smiles*

-Argentia Krystofel ♥