~A.K.~
Monday, June 13, 2011
Without Words (sort-of)
Sunday-Told By the Past
Hint-Read the song names. And, I haven't heard a single one of these so I can't speak for the content.
(I didn't mean for my window to look like a cross reflected in this...it kind-of gives the impression that Christ is a Highway to Nowhere...I wanted to say please don't take it that way...but you could take it that Life is a Highway to Nowhere without Christ!!!)
If you were with me Sunday you probably will have to 'organize' them to have chronological order...some won't make sense unless you know me very, very well. The shots after this are just little random ones I wanted to try...I thought they looked good.
I'm such an artsy geek! Hope you had a wonderful Lord's day~!
~A.K.~
~A.K.~
Saturday, June 11, 2011
No Title
I ran out of titles. After 130+ posts...you stop being able to come up with something to describe the weird mood you're in or what you're writing about. Then again, maybe "No Title" will describe this?
His body was tensed as he stared over the table. His bright blue eyes darted about, yet they wouldn't meet mine. His tongue curled around the words he was saying with such great sarcasm I was slightly surprised. The long, dark, uneven bangs that fell into his brilliant blue orbs swished with every movement he made; and that was quite often. To spite his scrawniness, the boy was lithe and strong, and every emotion he was feeling was expressed through his movement; the anger, the fear, and the acknowledgement.
I was vastly opposite. Arms crossed, I kept my eyes on him and tried to not waver. I didn't feel angry or even afraid. Just so, so guilty.
For the record, I hate the feeling called guilt. I've done enough messing around and acting out in my life to fill the king's treasury with all my guilt-and there might still be some besides.
The young man sitting across from me was like the final act in my commitment-lacking life. Oh, the curtains are far from closing; at least, if I don't die tomorrow or something like that. But this is the latter part, even if it could be a pretty long ending.
The boy's eyes flash up to meet mine, furious.
"I'm not gonna ask why, because that's just way too cliche."
I nod.
"That's fine; I really don't know why myself."
"Good. So, do you know exactly what kind of torture to call this?"
He didn't gesture at anything, but we both understood what he was talking about-his entire life, I had been shirking my duties. It was, rightfully, his time to take vengeance. I wanted to apologize, but would it really help? Not likely. Yelling at him like I had any right to was a bad idea; grovelling was even worse.
"No."
"Gosh...I would think you would have some smoother words than that after everything you've done."
"I could say the same."
Okay, so maybe I was pushing the sarcasm a little bit now. But who on earth did the little guy think I was?
A lowlife, I guess. He might be pretty right if he were talking to me twelve years ago, but now? I like to think I've changed, at least a teensy tiny amount!
"Wha-? Don't compare me to you! I might've stolen a little something here or there, or maybe some selfish noble's money once or twice, but I never, ever, ever even thought of doing what you have."
I sighed.
"Give yourself a few years, and you might."
"Shut up. That isn't even funny."
"I know. I'm telling you the truth."
A pause as he took a few deep breaths to control his nearly boiling-point fury. We were sitting in a tavern, and there were people standing around. I cast an idle glance around the room. A man in the corner who looked slightly more than just shady, a silent father with his talkative daughter near us, and a young couple with a small baby. Each thing seemed to direct me back to where I was or where I'd been; the irony that always made me wonder if there were a way that someone was trying to make me more miserable.
My attention snapped back to the business at hand as my young friend spouted off, "Do you actually think I want to be anything like you?! I've abandoned my life of thieving."
"One likeness right there."
He laughed scornfully.
"The only reason you gave up using people is that..."
"That I started feeling bad about it?"
"Yeah." The blue-eyed fellow sniffed, defeated, but not about ready to admit it.
"You know, I didn't 'use' your mother. The feelings we had for each other were mutual. There wasn't anything cruel or abusive in our relationship." I answered blandly, trying to not get as worked up as this boy was.
"Except that you left!!!" He blurted, and all the heads in the room turned. I tried to give a sympathetic look before turning back to him.
"Shhhhh...I know already. I made a bad choice; I realize that. But you also left your aunt. After returning and searching for your mother I would have been able to find you if you'd been agreeable...but I suppose it's in your blood. My parents couldn't find me for those years, either."
The kid glared at me. "I'm not anything like you."
I looked off to the side, "If you're not going to admit it, fine...I don't care. The point is that I came back for you. Do you want to come with me?"
"No way. I would hate to ever be introduced as your son, much less live under your roof." He answered indignantly. He would never know it, but that thrust like a knife into me. I didn't want to hear that out of his mouth.
"Alright. Well...here is the town," I answered, scrawling the location on a small scrap of paper. "That way, you will know where to find me. I come here to London every year to trade; you may come home with me then, if you wish. If not, a tradeship to Greece would get you there; though I would prefer if you wrote to me before you left so I would know where to meet you." I knew my instructions were probably lost on him, but he took the paper quietly and nodded.
I stood up to leave; I had miles to travel before I could turn in for the night. As I exited, I felt a tug on the cloak I was wearing, and turned.
There he stood, head bent, feet shuffling from side to side...not barefoot, like I remember him, but well-clothed. Acknowledging all this, it was still the same way of standing.
"Peter...thank you."
Letting the words sink in, I was surprised. I didn't have much experience with kids, and he was no exception, only that he was my own, whether I believed it or not. Stopped by the queerness of his gratitude, and the fact he used my first name, I had to ask, "why?"
"B-because....that time...when you visited. Those men were going to hurt me. So...thank you for at least doing something respectable."
I couldn't quite believe it, but I smiled anyway.
He groaned, "Don't look like that! It's not as if I look up to you or anything...so go back to where you came from! Like you'll ever see me again; I don't care about where you live or whether you come back or not or anything." He finished, turning away and marching off, up the stairs of the inn and probably to his room where he friends were. I still smiled, even though I knew he would never be normal because of what I did.
Heading out into the rain, I saddled my horse and rode away; the burden gone from my shoulders at last. Squinting in the downpour, I sighed as the curtain did close on my commitment free life, and hopefully opened to something new...something right.
So, a story I came up with while sitting around not doing anything...I hope it's good-no names were mentioned and that's a feat for me. =)
His body was tensed as he stared over the table. His bright blue eyes darted about, yet they wouldn't meet mine. His tongue curled around the words he was saying with such great sarcasm I was slightly surprised. The long, dark, uneven bangs that fell into his brilliant blue orbs swished with every movement he made; and that was quite often. To spite his scrawniness, the boy was lithe and strong, and every emotion he was feeling was expressed through his movement; the anger, the fear, and the acknowledgement.
I was vastly opposite. Arms crossed, I kept my eyes on him and tried to not waver. I didn't feel angry or even afraid. Just so, so guilty.
For the record, I hate the feeling called guilt. I've done enough messing around and acting out in my life to fill the king's treasury with all my guilt-and there might still be some besides.
The young man sitting across from me was like the final act in my commitment-lacking life. Oh, the curtains are far from closing; at least, if I don't die tomorrow or something like that. But this is the latter part, even if it could be a pretty long ending.
The boy's eyes flash up to meet mine, furious.
"I'm not gonna ask why, because that's just way too cliche."
I nod.
"That's fine; I really don't know why myself."
"Good. So, do you know exactly what kind of torture to call this?"
He didn't gesture at anything, but we both understood what he was talking about-his entire life, I had been shirking my duties. It was, rightfully, his time to take vengeance. I wanted to apologize, but would it really help? Not likely. Yelling at him like I had any right to was a bad idea; grovelling was even worse.
"No."
"Gosh...I would think you would have some smoother words than that after everything you've done."
"I could say the same."
Okay, so maybe I was pushing the sarcasm a little bit now. But who on earth did the little guy think I was?
A lowlife, I guess. He might be pretty right if he were talking to me twelve years ago, but now? I like to think I've changed, at least a teensy tiny amount!
"Wha-? Don't compare me to you! I might've stolen a little something here or there, or maybe some selfish noble's money once or twice, but I never, ever, ever even thought of doing what you have."
I sighed.
"Give yourself a few years, and you might."
"Shut up. That isn't even funny."
"I know. I'm telling you the truth."
A pause as he took a few deep breaths to control his nearly boiling-point fury. We were sitting in a tavern, and there were people standing around. I cast an idle glance around the room. A man in the corner who looked slightly more than just shady, a silent father with his talkative daughter near us, and a young couple with a small baby. Each thing seemed to direct me back to where I was or where I'd been; the irony that always made me wonder if there were a way that someone was trying to make me more miserable.
My attention snapped back to the business at hand as my young friend spouted off, "Do you actually think I want to be anything like you?! I've abandoned my life of thieving."
"One likeness right there."
He laughed scornfully.
"The only reason you gave up using people is that..."
"That I started feeling bad about it?"
"Yeah." The blue-eyed fellow sniffed, defeated, but not about ready to admit it.
"You know, I didn't 'use' your mother. The feelings we had for each other were mutual. There wasn't anything cruel or abusive in our relationship." I answered blandly, trying to not get as worked up as this boy was.
"Except that you left!!!" He blurted, and all the heads in the room turned. I tried to give a sympathetic look before turning back to him.
"Shhhhh...I know already. I made a bad choice; I realize that. But you also left your aunt. After returning and searching for your mother I would have been able to find you if you'd been agreeable...but I suppose it's in your blood. My parents couldn't find me for those years, either."
The kid glared at me. "I'm not anything like you."
I looked off to the side, "If you're not going to admit it, fine...I don't care. The point is that I came back for you. Do you want to come with me?"
"No way. I would hate to ever be introduced as your son, much less live under your roof." He answered indignantly. He would never know it, but that thrust like a knife into me. I didn't want to hear that out of his mouth.
"Alright. Well...here is the town," I answered, scrawling the location on a small scrap of paper. "That way, you will know where to find me. I come here to London every year to trade; you may come home with me then, if you wish. If not, a tradeship to Greece would get you there; though I would prefer if you wrote to me before you left so I would know where to meet you." I knew my instructions were probably lost on him, but he took the paper quietly and nodded.
I stood up to leave; I had miles to travel before I could turn in for the night. As I exited, I felt a tug on the cloak I was wearing, and turned.
There he stood, head bent, feet shuffling from side to side...not barefoot, like I remember him, but well-clothed. Acknowledging all this, it was still the same way of standing.
"Peter...thank you."
Letting the words sink in, I was surprised. I didn't have much experience with kids, and he was no exception, only that he was my own, whether I believed it or not. Stopped by the queerness of his gratitude, and the fact he used my first name, I had to ask, "why?"
"B-because....that time...when you visited. Those men were going to hurt me. So...thank you for at least doing something respectable."
I couldn't quite believe it, but I smiled anyway.
He groaned, "Don't look like that! It's not as if I look up to you or anything...so go back to where you came from! Like you'll ever see me again; I don't care about where you live or whether you come back or not or anything." He finished, turning away and marching off, up the stairs of the inn and probably to his room where he friends were. I still smiled, even though I knew he would never be normal because of what I did.
Heading out into the rain, I saddled my horse and rode away; the burden gone from my shoulders at last. Squinting in the downpour, I sighed as the curtain did close on my commitment free life, and hopefully opened to something new...something right.
So, a story I came up with while sitting around not doing anything...I hope it's good-no names were mentioned and that's a feat for me. =)
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Today
Today I cleaned my room while listening to music. It was really fun because I haven't spent that much time in my room in a while...and I haven't listened to any of my CDs in a while, either.
I actually got some math done today, and then I went bike riding around town with a friend. It was SO much fun; beautiful sun, a slight breeze, and no wrecks whatsoever!
I then came home and cleaned the kitchen, and then back to my friend's house (go figure) for piano lessons. XD Lessons went well and then I had a delicious supper here at home.
So my day went VERY well, to spite all other things and such...
Chautauqua is coming soon. The day that the art contest stops taking entries in June 16....that's ten days. Last year I entered two drawings and one of which won the Award of Merit, but I don't know if I should even enter another, and I don't know what to draw! Lately I have totally lacked inspiration, too, lol. Maybe it'll come to me soon.
Right now I'm kind-of...between, when it comes to feelings. I'm so happy for this day and this week and how wonderful things are going. I'm also kind-of nervous, and I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about certain future-things. I'm sad, because sometimes things happen that you cannot undo (please be in prayer for someone I know who has gotten into some trouble that can't be undone). I'm super-excited about Conference, too. It's this mixed up, wishy-washy feeling between worry, sorrow, and total ecstasy. Part of me is afraid of the unknown, another part of me...I can't describe it. I want to jump into anything and never lose another chance.
And then I'm dreamy. I feel like running to the top of a hill and screaming at the top of my lungs and I just want to go on an on and on and never stop...but I don't know what I want to keep doing. I guess feeling happy and young and joyous.
God has given me a really amazing imagination. Sometimes, it's the reason I feel so wishy-washy like I do right now...but right now, it's because of the current events that have happened which are so sad.
Sometimes, I come up with mental images that horrify&scare me to death (imagine that, me scaring myself. Hey, it happens). Other times, they are pretty pictures, or little memories. Sometimes, these turn into story ideas.
I'm also pretty darn observant. I tend to notice the oddest things-the color of her eyes, the way he plays with the hair at the nape of his neck when he's nervous, how her teeth aren't straight but I've always thought her beautiful anyway, how he has a dark blemish on his shoulder, how he tends to smile to one side...and not just those kinds of observances, but those of people's personalities; how different they are from others and how alike they are. What makes my best friends laugh, and how they react to something they're scared of...just so many different little things.
Most people I think are a tad creeped out when they hear me say this stuff. Well, let me put one thing straight; I'm not like this all the time. I'm not constantly categorizing and remembering everything...I do relax on occasion! So don't be creeped out. I probably will never use anything against you, since if I notice you, I probably LIKE you. In a friendly way.
Explaining-of-self-rants. Yeah. XD
Anyway, I haven't done any writing recently really. Some editing in my fanfiction so I can update it soon, some more fanfiction short stories, and then a little planning in Lineage...but nothing extreme. I really just want to go hide when it comes to Lineage, lol. Alastair HATES me for all I've done to him and has totally run out of steam...plus, I think I revealed his past too quickly, hahahah.
-Argentia Krystofel
I actually got some math done today, and then I went bike riding around town with a friend. It was SO much fun; beautiful sun, a slight breeze, and no wrecks whatsoever!
I then came home and cleaned the kitchen, and then back to my friend's house (go figure) for piano lessons. XD Lessons went well and then I had a delicious supper here at home.
So my day went VERY well, to spite all other things and such...
Chautauqua is coming soon. The day that the art contest stops taking entries in June 16....that's ten days. Last year I entered two drawings and one of which won the Award of Merit, but I don't know if I should even enter another, and I don't know what to draw! Lately I have totally lacked inspiration, too, lol. Maybe it'll come to me soon.
Right now I'm kind-of...between, when it comes to feelings. I'm so happy for this day and this week and how wonderful things are going. I'm also kind-of nervous, and I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about certain future-things. I'm sad, because sometimes things happen that you cannot undo (please be in prayer for someone I know who has gotten into some trouble that can't be undone). I'm super-excited about Conference, too. It's this mixed up, wishy-washy feeling between worry, sorrow, and total ecstasy. Part of me is afraid of the unknown, another part of me...I can't describe it. I want to jump into anything and never lose another chance.
And then I'm dreamy. I feel like running to the top of a hill and screaming at the top of my lungs and I just want to go on an on and on and never stop...but I don't know what I want to keep doing. I guess feeling happy and young and joyous.
God has given me a really amazing imagination. Sometimes, it's the reason I feel so wishy-washy like I do right now...but right now, it's because of the current events that have happened which are so sad.
Sometimes, I come up with mental images that horrify&scare me to death (imagine that, me scaring myself. Hey, it happens). Other times, they are pretty pictures, or little memories. Sometimes, these turn into story ideas.
I'm also pretty darn observant. I tend to notice the oddest things-the color of her eyes, the way he plays with the hair at the nape of his neck when he's nervous, how her teeth aren't straight but I've always thought her beautiful anyway, how he has a dark blemish on his shoulder, how he tends to smile to one side...and not just those kinds of observances, but those of people's personalities; how different they are from others and how alike they are. What makes my best friends laugh, and how they react to something they're scared of...just so many different little things.
Most people I think are a tad creeped out when they hear me say this stuff. Well, let me put one thing straight; I'm not like this all the time. I'm not constantly categorizing and remembering everything...I do relax on occasion! So don't be creeped out. I probably will never use anything against you, since if I notice you, I probably LIKE you. In a friendly way.
Explaining-of-self-rants. Yeah. XD
Anyway, I haven't done any writing recently really. Some editing in my fanfiction so I can update it soon, some more fanfiction short stories, and then a little planning in Lineage...but nothing extreme. I really just want to go hide when it comes to Lineage, lol. Alastair HATES me for all I've done to him and has totally run out of steam...plus, I think I revealed his past too quickly, hahahah.
-Argentia Krystofel
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Blah blah blah...
I changed my profile picture to a self-portrait, since Sasuke was getting REALLY old. *grin*
So today I ended up getting my contacts "fixed" (they're STILL bugging me...maybe even more now!!!). I'm still going to wear them but not as frequently as I had hoped. I can't believe I walked in there and thought-Yay, contacts, I won't have to wear glasses and everything will be just perfect~!
Yeah. My life doesn't work that way, sadly.>.<
The good, uplifting, joyful news today-I baked banana bread. Two loaves-one just banana, the other with chocolate chips included. It was a lot of fun though a tad bit tiring in the summer heat...I'm sooooo thankful for our AC.
Lately, Lineage has been bugging me. I totally feel like I'm not writing anything up to par (and let's face it; I've been writing for an hour or so every TWO WEEKS) and that the storyline...well, is a flop.
The story of my story is...cliche. Cliche is loosing it's feel to all the different, amazing, never cliche in the slightest stories out there...so maybe it isn't so bad to be cliche?
The Western places of the continent are ravaged with disorder. With no king, the people have been living in chaos with no intervention for sixteen years. By this time, the government has totally collapsed; every noble that would take the place of the king would be killed off by his fellow man, and the cycle continued until the people no longer care who claims to be king-it doesn't matter if they possess no power or authority.
Adrian Kempf-Amundr is a young man from the Southernmost reaches of the continent. Here he grew up, and here he learned of the ways of the strong, freedom-loving, semi-self governed peoples; a picture of what the West once was. From a very young age he wanted to change things for the struggling people; imagine his surprise when he finds he has the ability to unlock a strange power from a glowing rock which could, in the long run, benefit this goal. Formally known as the Shard of Dreams, Master Kempf soon becomes skilled in this 'magic'. About this time, Adrian, at age twelve, overhears his parent's conversation one night. He discovers the troubling truth-he is the rightful heir to the empty throne of the havoc-ridden Western lands.
Now with many questions, but no answers whatsoever, he decided that as soon as his parents allowed, he would set out on conquest to reunite the lands so they may prosper again.
An unexpected event takes place after leaving at age sixteen. Adrian meets a street urchin named Starr; she doesn't know her last name or even her exact age, but she does share one single thing in common; a power that no one else understands nor can describe.
Both determined to find answers to their many questions, Starr and Adrian decide to journey together and along the way pick up many others; Royale Watershed, a man who is strangely loyal to Adrian and associates himself with being a servant to him, Alastair, a dark elf of the east, and Misti, childhood playmate and lifelong friend to Adrian.
That I would say is the synopsis...a little long, yeah, I'd need to shorten it for a book cover, but in a beginning-storyline sense this is it. I KNOW it's totally cliche...but I need to keep writing. I want to finish this thing more than ever now that a friend of a friend has finisher HER book...and it took her two years. I'm pushing the two year point right now-December will mark two years of "writing" in my story. I put writing in quotations because it's really been so off-and-on that it makes me wanna hide. I have a lot set up-I mean a LOT. I even have last names for almost all my characters! (and I am a stickler on last names...names in general. It took me the first year to come up with Alastair a name-thankfully he comes much later in the story. He still doesn't have a last name. I'm going with something Scandinavian or Celtic I think, but it's hard with all those accent-marks and stuff).
It's just a matter of bucking it up, facing the fact that I'm not perfect, and plowing through the thing. It all looks so crisp and clean and perfect-fantasy-like when I look at it from the outside-when I start writing it out I don't do the mental image justice. >.<
Anyway...if anyone feels like commenting with advice or even just telling me in person/on chat, it would be greatly appreciated. Even without advice...even just cheering about my banana bread...please, someone!!! lol (I'm totally exaggerating!)
~A.K.~ (doesn't anyone notice I have Adrian's initials? *huge grin with hugs for Adrian*)
P.S. Some of you will notice that I did a "little story" on here back in either 09 or 08 with characters named Starr and Adrian. Yes, that is the same story...sort-of. I must say there has been so much changed in my mind and in a few edits (I don't like editing as I go-prefer to review the whole thing) that it barely resembles what I have now. :)
So today I ended up getting my contacts "fixed" (they're STILL bugging me...maybe even more now!!!). I'm still going to wear them but not as frequently as I had hoped. I can't believe I walked in there and thought-Yay, contacts, I won't have to wear glasses and everything will be just perfect~!
Yeah. My life doesn't work that way, sadly.>.<
The good, uplifting, joyful news today-I baked banana bread. Two loaves-one just banana, the other with chocolate chips included. It was a lot of fun though a tad bit tiring in the summer heat...I'm sooooo thankful for our AC.
Lately, Lineage has been bugging me. I totally feel like I'm not writing anything up to par (and let's face it; I've been writing for an hour or so every TWO WEEKS) and that the storyline...well, is a flop.
The story of my story is...cliche. Cliche is loosing it's feel to all the different, amazing, never cliche in the slightest stories out there...so maybe it isn't so bad to be cliche?
The Western places of the continent are ravaged with disorder. With no king, the people have been living in chaos with no intervention for sixteen years. By this time, the government has totally collapsed; every noble that would take the place of the king would be killed off by his fellow man, and the cycle continued until the people no longer care who claims to be king-it doesn't matter if they possess no power or authority.
Adrian Kempf-Amundr is a young man from the Southernmost reaches of the continent. Here he grew up, and here he learned of the ways of the strong, freedom-loving, semi-self governed peoples; a picture of what the West once was. From a very young age he wanted to change things for the struggling people; imagine his surprise when he finds he has the ability to unlock a strange power from a glowing rock which could, in the long run, benefit this goal. Formally known as the Shard of Dreams, Master Kempf soon becomes skilled in this 'magic'. About this time, Adrian, at age twelve, overhears his parent's conversation one night. He discovers the troubling truth-he is the rightful heir to the empty throne of the havoc-ridden Western lands.
Now with many questions, but no answers whatsoever, he decided that as soon as his parents allowed, he would set out on conquest to reunite the lands so they may prosper again.
An unexpected event takes place after leaving at age sixteen. Adrian meets a street urchin named Starr; she doesn't know her last name or even her exact age, but she does share one single thing in common; a power that no one else understands nor can describe.
Both determined to find answers to their many questions, Starr and Adrian decide to journey together and along the way pick up many others; Royale Watershed, a man who is strangely loyal to Adrian and associates himself with being a servant to him, Alastair, a dark elf of the east, and Misti, childhood playmate and lifelong friend to Adrian.
That I would say is the synopsis...a little long, yeah, I'd need to shorten it for a book cover, but in a beginning-storyline sense this is it. I KNOW it's totally cliche...but I need to keep writing. I want to finish this thing more than ever now that a friend of a friend has finisher HER book...and it took her two years. I'm pushing the two year point right now-December will mark two years of "writing" in my story. I put writing in quotations because it's really been so off-and-on that it makes me wanna hide. I have a lot set up-I mean a LOT. I even have last names for almost all my characters! (and I am a stickler on last names...names in general. It took me the first year to come up with Alastair a name-thankfully he comes much later in the story. He still doesn't have a last name. I'm going with something Scandinavian or Celtic I think, but it's hard with all those accent-marks and stuff).
It's just a matter of bucking it up, facing the fact that I'm not perfect, and plowing through the thing. It all looks so crisp and clean and perfect-fantasy-like when I look at it from the outside-when I start writing it out I don't do the mental image justice. >.<
Anyway...if anyone feels like commenting with advice or even just telling me in person/on chat, it would be greatly appreciated. Even without advice...even just cheering about my banana bread...please, someone!!! lol (I'm totally exaggerating!)
~A.K.~ (doesn't anyone notice I have Adrian's initials? *huge grin with hugs for Adrian*)
P.S. Some of you will notice that I did a "little story" on here back in either 09 or 08 with characters named Starr and Adrian. Yes, that is the same story...sort-of. I must say there has been so much changed in my mind and in a few edits (I don't like editing as I go-prefer to review the whole thing) that it barely resembles what I have now. :)
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