“You would think, Orion, that he would be a less arrogant person, if he’s ever even seen a battle.” Starr was having a nice conversation with Adrian’s horse as she waited for his master to come to the stables and take him away. She would miss this new found animal friend.
“But you like adventures, I bet. You probably were born an adventure. I would like to come, but I-I just can’t. Some tiny part wants to, but then this big annoying part just keeps reminding me of how hard it would be. But the tiny part has a big mouth and-” Orion whinnied.
“I should be quiet about trivial things shouldn’t I?” She suggested. Suddenly, Adrian walked in.
“Good morning. How is Orion? I see you have been speaking with him about things I don’t know. He has that funny look in his eyes that says- ‘Adrian, you pathetic little boy, I know something you don’t!’ I really wish he’d tell me some of it sometime.”
Starr looked at him in astonishment. Apparently, a good night’s sleep had done something for the better. He was acting very different.
As they walked down the street, which had dried up reasonably, Adrian chattered. After a while, he turned to her.
“You still won't go with me?” he asked. “You would be a lot of help, and you would see great things.”
“I will go with you to the highway, then I'm coming back here.”
“That’s about three miles from here. You sure you’ll feel safe coming back?”
“Yes, I will be fine.”
“It’s a lot of walking. What do you say to a ride?” He asked, patting his horse. Starr beamed with excitement.
“Really? On him? Oh, Adrian, that will be wonderful!” she exclaimed. Even if she could not read nor write, one of the things she did know was how to ride a horse. It was in her blood, I suppose. Adrian helped her up on Orion’s back, and she rapped her arms around his waist.
“When we get out of the center of town, I’m going to speed up, so be prepared.” He warned.
“Alright.”
And as soon as they were in the outskirts of town, Adrian leaned down and whispered something into the ear of his horse.
Orion flew. Starr felt as if she and her companions would just begin to leap off of the ground. Trees flew past and the sound of the horse’s hooves hitting the road echoed in Starr’s ears. Then they branched off from the road and headed into the forest.
Suddenly, Orion slowed. He quickly lost speed and came to a halt.
“What’s the matter, Orion?” Adrian asked the now still horse. The sun shining through the canopy of trees made strange patterns of shadow that danced around everywhere.
“I think...he hears something.” Starr reasoned.
Suddenly, from no where, an arrow whizzed past Starr’s face, barely missing her head.
“Adrian, what is going on?” She asked, very frightened. She realized that he was counting on his fingers. At five, he rushed to her and pushed her calling,
“Get yourself DOWN!!!” with a shriek, Starr fell with Adrian beside her, and in that instant a second arrow whizzed past and buried itself in the trunk of a tree. It would have struck Starr in the head if she had not moved. Adrian quickly stood as three masked figures strode out into the sunlight. Their clothing was black, and the weapons of the last two were wickedly sharp daggers and huge wooden clubs. Starr would have been surprised if the two men could have lifted them.
“Getcha self and the young lady up and gimme yer hands.” the first demanded.
“Disguising your voice is no good, sir. I know you.” Adrian began, unsheathing his sword. The emeralds sparkled once again, bright and bold in the mid-day light. Starr noticed that Adrian's voice held a strange respect for this man, and he seemed reluctant to start the normal name calling ceremony that went on in little scrapes like this.
“Yes,” the first agreed, his voice changing from rough to elegantly smug. “That you do. But you must destroy me to get out of this mess, Adrian, you fool.” During the whole time, neither of the other men had spoken. They continued to remain silent. Starr reasoned they were trying to go unnoticed and hide their true identities.
“I would rather destroy you, sir, then have to deal with you again.” Adrian decided. “Starr, keep that animal calm, I’m going to wipe these stooges out.”
“Yes, Adrian.” Starr readily agreed. She did not want to argue with him about his sudden decision when these dangerous thugs or whoever they were wanted him and her. She gently laid her head on Orion’s neck, caressing his black mane, trying to keep him calm without using her power yet. The last thing these people needed to know was that she had special abilities, too.
Adrian was in a fighting stance now. He had his sword at the ready, and his eyes were steadily glaring at the three in front of him. But, as he began to walk slowly forward, the leader of the group put his sword away.
“Why not a test of your powers, boy. Then we can see about that sword fight of yours. If you win, I will promise that I will never attempt to kill you or anyone you know again. Along with that, I will give you the islands of Isri that are a small part of my lands. But, if I win, you must promise me your horse, your inheritance, and that you will give up your folly. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, you know.”
“You know very well I am not a child, sir!” Adrian exclaimed. “I told you I will kill you, we both know you are not a keeper of promises!” he declared, shoving his sword back into its sheath.
As Adrian did this, a blast of power that Starr knew all to well hit him dead on. The power was easy to obtain, weakening in nature, and very dangerous if used the right way. And this strange man definitely knew his powers enough to use them properly. Adrian was weakening. She wanted to help him, but she knew that the only thing she could do was keep to the side and use her power to calm Orion.
After a few more moderately powerful weakening blasts, Adrian found time enough to use his power. Starr watched as his shard obtained power dissolved the enemy’s weapon handles into flecks.
A Dream Shard obtained power was a bit different from a weakening power, for when something organic was broken into the tiny shards, every piece became a small star in the galaxy. But, dream shards and the power of disintegration were hard to find and master. They were very difficult things for any ordinary person to perform, and even if you had royal blood in your veins you had difficulty controlling the shard’s power.
Starr winced as Adrian’s arm was cut open on a sharp protruding stick. The stranger gave him no mercy, no rest. He just kept weakening Adrian a little at a time, almost as if he were teasing the boy. Starr watched as he tried to unsheathe his sword and failed. After a few more attempts to use his power, Adrian tried to unsheathe the sword again, and succeeded. But the sword was still heavy for him. He yanked it along the ground, trying to lift it. The stranger laughed and quit blasting Adrian.
“What, need a rest, pathetic child?” Adrian did not answer, just kept a steady glare focused on this man, seaming to bore straight through him. “How old are you, boy? I might consider letting you go...” the enemy stranger took his hands off of his hips and unsheathed his sword.
“I’m nineteen, you dolt.” Name-calling had begun. A little too late, Starr thought from her point of view.
“Ha-ha, I have trouble believing that! Nineteen-year-olds don’t leave their companions unattended!” Starr wanted to tear right through this idiot. She wanted to scream for Adrian to stay focused. That she had it all under control. But you can’t do that sort of thing when a reasonably muscular man QUITE a bit taller than you has a hand over your mouth and your right arm behind your back ready to break it.
“Starr! Hold on, I promise I’ll get you out of this!” Adrian struggled to decide if he should go to her or face the man eight feet in front of him. He didn’t get to make a choice, because while he turned to her, the stranger rushed on him. Adrian flopped down and rolled, barely avoiding having his right hand cut off. He stood up quickly, but fell back down at the next display of weakening powers. Starr winced as the stranger’s sword skimmed Adrian’s shoulder leaving a deep cut. He rolled, but he was still on the ground, and could barely get up.
She knew she had to act, so she acted. Letting her body go limp as the stranger blasted Adrian again as he tried to stand, she faked out a faint. Starr barely believed it when the goon took the bait and their leader called him back to his side. He then began backing away from Adrian, since the boy was too weak to even stand.
How can they be so stupid?
Starr couldn’t help wondering as she quickly picked herself up. Without a moment to lose, she reached into Adrian’s pack and brandished his dagger. Racing to his side, she grimaced at the wound on his shoulder. His eyes were shut tight, he was gasping for breath, and she thought she heard him whimper.
She quickly laid her hand on his shoulder to stop the bleeding, shutting her eyes as he cried out in pain. And just as suddenly, she recalled what he had said.
“How did you do that? It was....kinda strange.”
“I have always known how.”
“And can you do this to people?” Adrian seemed curious.
“No, not that I know of.” Starr replied.
And just as she remembered her power, that same rose-colored light shone through between the fingers of the hand that lay on his shoulder. Suddenly the world seemed still. The group of three rushing towards her seemed not to matter. The rose-colored light was warm, but not hot. Yet it was cool, but not cold.
Suddenly the light disappeared. Adrian quit whimpering. He quit gasping, he quit breathing.
“Oh my gosh, I’ve killed him!” Starr screamed as one of the men reached out and grabbed her arms.
“Don’t touch her!” It all happened in a second. Adrian was up and battling the leader in the blink of an eye. With his full health restored, and the element of surprise on his side, Adrian made quick work of him. In not much time he had killed the man that had been so threatening only a few minutes before. After knocking out the man who held Starr and killing the other, Adrian walked over to an especially grassy place.
But as he bent down to clean his sword, the ‘unconscious’ man loomed dangerously above him. With weapon in hand, the he made ready for the kill.
Her dagger had done its job before she knew what was happening. Straight into his spine, an instant kill. Starr had her eyes shut, so she did not see Adrian’s astonished face when the man toppled over on top of him.
He was a boy, no more that eighteen. Adrian quickly scrambled on to his feet as Starr shut her eyes again. She kept her eyes shut as Adrian made a very quick grave for the three men. There was a ditch nearby, and he piled large rocks on top of the bodies.
She opened her eyes once more, but grimaced as she saw Adrian’s stained clothing. Reaching over, he gently turned her to look away from him and into the late afternoon forest.
“There, now, what did you think of that?” He asked cheerily.
“THINK?! You nearly died, you silly, stupid, pa-” Adrian quickly put his dirty hand over her mouth.
“OK, I get it, I’m an idiot, but this idiot does notice things. What did you do to me back there?” He let his hand off of her mouth.
“I-I have no idea, I was just thinking about-”Starr paused
“Go on.”
“I was thinking about saving you. And about that question you asked about my powers. It was strange, wasn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Um...”
“Yes, what?” Adrian was gazing at the trees above them.
“Would you mind me taking a look at your arm? I was just wondering about my powers and...well...”
“Oh, yeah, sure.” He grasped his sleeve where the cut had been. The cloth was torn, the edges stained with blood. She stared at the skin that had been torn. Nothing, not even a scar. Nothing. He then turned around and began to walk toward Orion, but stopped when he realized she wasn’t following. Turning, he saw that she had her back facing him, and was gazing off toward the newly made graves.
“Starr, I’m sorry you had to kill that man. You saved my life, and the highway is only a way off. Please, will you go with me? I can understand if you don’t want to, and if so, I will take you to the highway and we will say goodbye.” Adrian watched the back of her head for any sign of her saying something. He noticed her hair had come out of the usual braid she kept it in and the wind blew it softly. Strangely, the sun glinted different colors on it as it moved. Soft pink, green and blue. Adrian had never seen anything like her hair. Lost in his musing and day-dreaming, he jumped when she spoke.
“What will we see on this journey?”
And so that was that. They mounted Orion and began at a walk toward the highway. Adrian leaned back in the saddle.
“So, is there anything that you would like to see?” He asked. The warm four o’clock breeze was blowing the tops of the trees in a calm, lazy, back and forth rhythm.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, every man has dreams to see something; I figure a girl would too.” Adrian heard the horses hooves hit the main road. A bit of fear that she might just jump off trickled down his spine. He found himself drifting into thought about what the rest of the journey would be like, and if she would even like it, for that matter.
“Day-dreaming again.” Starr muttered under her breath.
“Hmm?” Adrian mumbled, slightly snapping out of his reverie. Starr decided not to repeat herself and go on ahead and answer his question.
“Umm, I don’t want to see anything, really.”
“Hey, come on, every girl wants to see a mermaid or sea queen... or maybe a brave prince to come along and whisk them out of trouble...” He began. Starr giggled, because Adrian would be considered a prince, since he was the son of Adrian the First.
“OK, OK! I would like to see a mermaid!!!” She exclaimed, after he finally quit listing things. Suddenly serious she added, “And an elf. I really want to see an elf. My mother sang me elfish lullabies.” She explained to him. He smiled, although she couldn’t see it.
“Next stop is the mermaid lake.” It had never been specified as to whether there were really mermaids in the small lagoon in the middle of the island, but it had not been denied. Many peasant folk believed they were real, or at least real when they were stories around the camp-fire, children believed they were more real than their own houses, and quest-seekers like Adrian believed those legends probably even more than that. Adding to his immaturity. Starr had thought.
“Really? You’re not just saying that you're going because I said I wanted to-”
“No. Don't scramble your words like that.”
“Really? You sure that it's not because of me you said that?”
“Yes, Silly! Don't scramble up your words!” He laughed.
END CHAPTER ONE!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!! And I just barely finished Chapter Two a few weeks ago. If I can, I will only be posting one or two parts once a week from now on. It's just too much for me to handle. The next chapter also needs a special amount of editing. So just be patient, and I will get to it! :)
-Autumn
“But you like adventures, I bet. You probably were born an adventure. I would like to come, but I-I just can’t. Some tiny part wants to, but then this big annoying part just keeps reminding me of how hard it would be. But the tiny part has a big mouth and-” Orion whinnied.
“I should be quiet about trivial things shouldn’t I?” She suggested. Suddenly, Adrian walked in.
“Good morning. How is Orion? I see you have been speaking with him about things I don’t know. He has that funny look in his eyes that says- ‘Adrian, you pathetic little boy, I know something you don’t!’ I really wish he’d tell me some of it sometime.”
Starr looked at him in astonishment. Apparently, a good night’s sleep had done something for the better. He was acting very different.
As they walked down the street, which had dried up reasonably, Adrian chattered. After a while, he turned to her.
“You still won't go with me?” he asked. “You would be a lot of help, and you would see great things.”
“I will go with you to the highway, then I'm coming back here.”
“That’s about three miles from here. You sure you’ll feel safe coming back?”
“Yes, I will be fine.”
“It’s a lot of walking. What do you say to a ride?” He asked, patting his horse. Starr beamed with excitement.
“Really? On him? Oh, Adrian, that will be wonderful!” she exclaimed. Even if she could not read nor write, one of the things she did know was how to ride a horse. It was in her blood, I suppose. Adrian helped her up on Orion’s back, and she rapped her arms around his waist.
“When we get out of the center of town, I’m going to speed up, so be prepared.” He warned.
“Alright.”
And as soon as they were in the outskirts of town, Adrian leaned down and whispered something into the ear of his horse.
Orion flew. Starr felt as if she and her companions would just begin to leap off of the ground. Trees flew past and the sound of the horse’s hooves hitting the road echoed in Starr’s ears. Then they branched off from the road and headed into the forest.
Suddenly, Orion slowed. He quickly lost speed and came to a halt.
“What’s the matter, Orion?” Adrian asked the now still horse. The sun shining through the canopy of trees made strange patterns of shadow that danced around everywhere.
“I think...he hears something.” Starr reasoned.
Suddenly, from no where, an arrow whizzed past Starr’s face, barely missing her head.
“Adrian, what is going on?” She asked, very frightened. She realized that he was counting on his fingers. At five, he rushed to her and pushed her calling,
“Get yourself DOWN!!!” with a shriek, Starr fell with Adrian beside her, and in that instant a second arrow whizzed past and buried itself in the trunk of a tree. It would have struck Starr in the head if she had not moved. Adrian quickly stood as three masked figures strode out into the sunlight. Their clothing was black, and the weapons of the last two were wickedly sharp daggers and huge wooden clubs. Starr would have been surprised if the two men could have lifted them.
“Getcha self and the young lady up and gimme yer hands.” the first demanded.
“Disguising your voice is no good, sir. I know you.” Adrian began, unsheathing his sword. The emeralds sparkled once again, bright and bold in the mid-day light. Starr noticed that Adrian's voice held a strange respect for this man, and he seemed reluctant to start the normal name calling ceremony that went on in little scrapes like this.
“Yes,” the first agreed, his voice changing from rough to elegantly smug. “That you do. But you must destroy me to get out of this mess, Adrian, you fool.” During the whole time, neither of the other men had spoken. They continued to remain silent. Starr reasoned they were trying to go unnoticed and hide their true identities.
“I would rather destroy you, sir, then have to deal with you again.” Adrian decided. “Starr, keep that animal calm, I’m going to wipe these stooges out.”
“Yes, Adrian.” Starr readily agreed. She did not want to argue with him about his sudden decision when these dangerous thugs or whoever they were wanted him and her. She gently laid her head on Orion’s neck, caressing his black mane, trying to keep him calm without using her power yet. The last thing these people needed to know was that she had special abilities, too.
Adrian was in a fighting stance now. He had his sword at the ready, and his eyes were steadily glaring at the three in front of him. But, as he began to walk slowly forward, the leader of the group put his sword away.
“Why not a test of your powers, boy. Then we can see about that sword fight of yours. If you win, I will promise that I will never attempt to kill you or anyone you know again. Along with that, I will give you the islands of Isri that are a small part of my lands. But, if I win, you must promise me your horse, your inheritance, and that you will give up your folly. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, you know.”
“You know very well I am not a child, sir!” Adrian exclaimed. “I told you I will kill you, we both know you are not a keeper of promises!” he declared, shoving his sword back into its sheath.
As Adrian did this, a blast of power that Starr knew all to well hit him dead on. The power was easy to obtain, weakening in nature, and very dangerous if used the right way. And this strange man definitely knew his powers enough to use them properly. Adrian was weakening. She wanted to help him, but she knew that the only thing she could do was keep to the side and use her power to calm Orion.
After a few more moderately powerful weakening blasts, Adrian found time enough to use his power. Starr watched as his shard obtained power dissolved the enemy’s weapon handles into flecks.
A Dream Shard obtained power was a bit different from a weakening power, for when something organic was broken into the tiny shards, every piece became a small star in the galaxy. But, dream shards and the power of disintegration were hard to find and master. They were very difficult things for any ordinary person to perform, and even if you had royal blood in your veins you had difficulty controlling the shard’s power.
Starr winced as Adrian’s arm was cut open on a sharp protruding stick. The stranger gave him no mercy, no rest. He just kept weakening Adrian a little at a time, almost as if he were teasing the boy. Starr watched as he tried to unsheathe his sword and failed. After a few more attempts to use his power, Adrian tried to unsheathe the sword again, and succeeded. But the sword was still heavy for him. He yanked it along the ground, trying to lift it. The stranger laughed and quit blasting Adrian.
“What, need a rest, pathetic child?” Adrian did not answer, just kept a steady glare focused on this man, seaming to bore straight through him. “How old are you, boy? I might consider letting you go...” the enemy stranger took his hands off of his hips and unsheathed his sword.
“I’m nineteen, you dolt.” Name-calling had begun. A little too late, Starr thought from her point of view.
“Ha-ha, I have trouble believing that! Nineteen-year-olds don’t leave their companions unattended!” Starr wanted to tear right through this idiot. She wanted to scream for Adrian to stay focused. That she had it all under control. But you can’t do that sort of thing when a reasonably muscular man QUITE a bit taller than you has a hand over your mouth and your right arm behind your back ready to break it.
“Starr! Hold on, I promise I’ll get you out of this!” Adrian struggled to decide if he should go to her or face the man eight feet in front of him. He didn’t get to make a choice, because while he turned to her, the stranger rushed on him. Adrian flopped down and rolled, barely avoiding having his right hand cut off. He stood up quickly, but fell back down at the next display of weakening powers. Starr winced as the stranger’s sword skimmed Adrian’s shoulder leaving a deep cut. He rolled, but he was still on the ground, and could barely get up.
She knew she had to act, so she acted. Letting her body go limp as the stranger blasted Adrian again as he tried to stand, she faked out a faint. Starr barely believed it when the goon took the bait and their leader called him back to his side. He then began backing away from Adrian, since the boy was too weak to even stand.
How can they be so stupid?
Starr couldn’t help wondering as she quickly picked herself up. Without a moment to lose, she reached into Adrian’s pack and brandished his dagger. Racing to his side, she grimaced at the wound on his shoulder. His eyes were shut tight, he was gasping for breath, and she thought she heard him whimper.
She quickly laid her hand on his shoulder to stop the bleeding, shutting her eyes as he cried out in pain. And just as suddenly, she recalled what he had said.
“How did you do that? It was....kinda strange.”
“I have always known how.”
“And can you do this to people?” Adrian seemed curious.
“No, not that I know of.” Starr replied.
And just as she remembered her power, that same rose-colored light shone through between the fingers of the hand that lay on his shoulder. Suddenly the world seemed still. The group of three rushing towards her seemed not to matter. The rose-colored light was warm, but not hot. Yet it was cool, but not cold.
Suddenly the light disappeared. Adrian quit whimpering. He quit gasping, he quit breathing.
“Oh my gosh, I’ve killed him!” Starr screamed as one of the men reached out and grabbed her arms.
“Don’t touch her!” It all happened in a second. Adrian was up and battling the leader in the blink of an eye. With his full health restored, and the element of surprise on his side, Adrian made quick work of him. In not much time he had killed the man that had been so threatening only a few minutes before. After knocking out the man who held Starr and killing the other, Adrian walked over to an especially grassy place.
But as he bent down to clean his sword, the ‘unconscious’ man loomed dangerously above him. With weapon in hand, the he made ready for the kill.
Her dagger had done its job before she knew what was happening. Straight into his spine, an instant kill. Starr had her eyes shut, so she did not see Adrian’s astonished face when the man toppled over on top of him.
***
Adrian pushed the body off of him. As he did, the mask fell off of the person. Looking up, he realized Starr had opened her eyes. She stared at the face of the thug.He was a boy, no more that eighteen. Adrian quickly scrambled on to his feet as Starr shut her eyes again. She kept her eyes shut as Adrian made a very quick grave for the three men. There was a ditch nearby, and he piled large rocks on top of the bodies.
She opened her eyes once more, but grimaced as she saw Adrian’s stained clothing. Reaching over, he gently turned her to look away from him and into the late afternoon forest.
“There, now, what did you think of that?” He asked cheerily.
“THINK?! You nearly died, you silly, stupid, pa-” Adrian quickly put his dirty hand over her mouth.
“OK, I get it, I’m an idiot, but this idiot does notice things. What did you do to me back there?” He let his hand off of her mouth.
“I-I have no idea, I was just thinking about-”Starr paused
“Go on.”
“I was thinking about saving you. And about that question you asked about my powers. It was strange, wasn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Um...”
“Yes, what?” Adrian was gazing at the trees above them.
“Would you mind me taking a look at your arm? I was just wondering about my powers and...well...”
“Oh, yeah, sure.” He grasped his sleeve where the cut had been. The cloth was torn, the edges stained with blood. She stared at the skin that had been torn. Nothing, not even a scar. Nothing. He then turned around and began to walk toward Orion, but stopped when he realized she wasn’t following. Turning, he saw that she had her back facing him, and was gazing off toward the newly made graves.
“Starr, I’m sorry you had to kill that man. You saved my life, and the highway is only a way off. Please, will you go with me? I can understand if you don’t want to, and if so, I will take you to the highway and we will say goodbye.” Adrian watched the back of her head for any sign of her saying something. He noticed her hair had come out of the usual braid she kept it in and the wind blew it softly. Strangely, the sun glinted different colors on it as it moved. Soft pink, green and blue. Adrian had never seen anything like her hair. Lost in his musing and day-dreaming, he jumped when she spoke.
“What will we see on this journey?”
And so that was that. They mounted Orion and began at a walk toward the highway. Adrian leaned back in the saddle.
“So, is there anything that you would like to see?” He asked. The warm four o’clock breeze was blowing the tops of the trees in a calm, lazy, back and forth rhythm.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, every man has dreams to see something; I figure a girl would too.” Adrian heard the horses hooves hit the main road. A bit of fear that she might just jump off trickled down his spine. He found himself drifting into thought about what the rest of the journey would be like, and if she would even like it, for that matter.
“Day-dreaming again.” Starr muttered under her breath.
“Hmm?” Adrian mumbled, slightly snapping out of his reverie. Starr decided not to repeat herself and go on ahead and answer his question.
“Umm, I don’t want to see anything, really.”
“Hey, come on, every girl wants to see a mermaid or sea queen... or maybe a brave prince to come along and whisk them out of trouble...” He began. Starr giggled, because Adrian would be considered a prince, since he was the son of Adrian the First.
“OK, OK! I would like to see a mermaid!!!” She exclaimed, after he finally quit listing things. Suddenly serious she added, “And an elf. I really want to see an elf. My mother sang me elfish lullabies.” She explained to him. He smiled, although she couldn’t see it.
“Next stop is the mermaid lake.” It had never been specified as to whether there were really mermaids in the small lagoon in the middle of the island, but it had not been denied. Many peasant folk believed they were real, or at least real when they were stories around the camp-fire, children believed they were more real than their own houses, and quest-seekers like Adrian believed those legends probably even more than that. Adding to his immaturity. Starr had thought.
“Really? You’re not just saying that you're going because I said I wanted to-”
“No. Don't scramble your words like that.”
“Really? You sure that it's not because of me you said that?”
“Yes, Silly! Don't scramble up your words!” He laughed.
END CHAPTER ONE!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!! And I just barely finished Chapter Two a few weeks ago. If I can, I will only be posting one or two parts once a week from now on. It's just too much for me to handle. The next chapter also needs a special amount of editing. So just be patient, and I will get to it! :)
-Autumn
21 comments:
This was really good. I enjoyed the fight scence, it was quite exciting. There were a few spots with odd wording, which made it a bit hard to understand, but other than that it was good. I'm looking forward to chapter 2! :)
*Blinks a few times.* That was great...but...I mean I REALLY REALLY do like it but....there was no detail to the fight....*looks at some other books.* Though that is a common thing....oh well I'm just a kid who likes things overly detailed when other people write it. :P
Hey Autumn,
That was great. I really enjoy reading your story. :) Looking forward to the next chapter.
Rebecca Marie
Fantasy- Thank you! I had soooo much trouble with this scene. My interest goes very far into emotions, not fights. It took me a long time to figure this one out. Odd wording is DEFINITELY one of my problems in there, but some of it I just couldn't figure out.
Fox- I KNEW it! Argh...I knew I wouldn't do this up to your standards. Sorry for disappointment. I promise I'll try to get better with scenes like this, but I'm still not very experienced. I should have worked on it more. :P You see, when I wrote this part, I was all 'Hurry and get it over with as soon as possible'. That is why it was probably so lacking in detail. Maybe you could get my brother to be more helpful, he is the one who is SUPPOSED to be helping with strategics. :P
Rebecca- Thank you! I'll have the next parts up Saturday!
Thanks for reading everyone!
-Autumn
In this case autumn I am vary happy to be the first person to tell you, I am over critical. And I did say everything else was VERY VERY good.
But..in 4 sentences you Adrian takes out 2 guys and "knocks out" the third....:P
But seriously it's very good. Just a small problem.
Leave her alone, Fox! She did really well with the scene for not having much experience writing action scenes. They aren't easy to write. And you are over critical so keep it to yourself! ;)
“Really? On him? Oh, Adrian, that will be wonderful!” she exclaimed. Even if she could not read nor write, one of the things she did know was how to ride a horse. It was in her blood, I suppose.
HAHA! Sounds like me!!!!
Great chapter, I love it!
Oh, and Fox, why don't you just come out and say that you don't like my story? I'm pretty sure that you don't, but will you please just come out and say it so that I won't have to spin my head all night as to who likes it and who doesn't. JUST PLEASE TELL ME!!!
thanks.
In Christ,
~Rose
"and Fox, why don't you just come out and say that you don't like my story? I'm pretty sure that you don't, but will you please just come out and say it so that I won't have to spin my head all night as to who likes it and who doesn't. JUST PLEASE TELL ME!!!"
I have, several times told you that. I've also given you strong hints a couple of times also. But you never seemed to understand. I guess it's just a girl thing. :P
So...you DON'T like it? :P :D
In Christ,
~Rose
Seriously, though, as far as I know, NO ONE likes it...and that hurts. It's just something that I am trying to write, and it would be nice to get at least SOME encouragement for it. I mean, you and Autumn are the ONLY ones that will read it, and Nate won't even read it. If you don't like it, that's okay. One question, thought; if you don't like it at all, then why are you helping me with it?
In Christ,
~Rose
I think we should continue this...conversation via email instead of here.
I agree; though let's be nice. :)
You've heard my question, so please answer over e-mail.
Thanks.
In Christ,
~Rose
O.o love the topmost picture. Even though I know nothing about it. :P
Hey Autumn, I like the addition to your playlist (Brothers). Have you heard the one with voice and the english version sung by Vic Mignogna (Edward's voice actor!)? This is a sad song, in a way, but beautiful and I love it! It shows how the brothers learned their lesson and how they love each other so much they are willing to sacrifice all for the other.
Still waiting for more of your story.
Fox- Thanks! Those two are Colonel Roy Mustang and First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye from an anime I watch called Full Metal Alchemist. I didn't really want to put up a 'romantic' picture for Valentine's Day, so I just put up Roy in his super-cool eye patch and Riza with her deadly aim. They're an interesting couple, no? :P
Fantasy- I have heard the version by Vic Mignogna. It is a sad song, but soooo beautiful. I tried to find Vic's version, but I don't think playlist has it. Lately I've been looking up the music in FMA though, and you never know when you'll find something really nice. Speaking of which, have you ever heard the song 'Gindokei'? It was sung by Winry's Japanese voice actor. I think the English title is 'Silver Pocket Watch'. If you've never heard it, go to YouTube and search-Gindokei (Silver pocket watch)Winry.
It's a pretty song. The lyrics in English are sad, though. She's telling Edward that she's tired of him keeping everything from her, and that she's there for him.
Argh, Ed is such a silly boy when it comes to realizing that Winry is not a girl to miss...:P
Anyway, thanks for the comment. I will try and post more often, but lately school has been keeping me from doing so.
-Autumn
DUDE..THAT'S A LONG POST
-NATE
P.S. HOW ARE YOU?
Wow! I LOVE the new music on your playlist!!! I love the one called "Brothers", even though I do not like Fullmetal Alchemist. I think that I'll put that one on my blog. :)
In Christ,
~Rose
Nate-Hi!!!!*waves at you* Thanks for commenting. Yeah, it's along story. You should read it sometime, it's coming along rather nicely, I think, but you will have to decide that for yourself.
Oh, I'm doing fine. Just enduring the power going out all the time and keeping me off the computer. :P
How are you?
Rose-Yep, 'Brothers' is one of the prettiest songs in Full Metal Alchemist. They always play it during emotional scenes. It brings back those scenes when I here it.
-Autumn
Autumn, I looked that song up. It was cute! I'll have to look the words up and read them sometime.
*Is laughing that the word verification this time is 'oopers'* XD
Did you see??? I put it on my blog!!! 8D *runs around room screaming like a maniac*
Autumn! You'll never guess...but I've gone crazy over that song!!! :P
(But NOT the move....*is disgusted*)
Oh well....I'll probably put it on my "soundtrack"....:)
BTW, I got TWO more pictures done!
The one of---80---wait----why am I telling you?! I'll just show you Sunday!
Bye!
In Christ,
~Rose
P.S. Will you PLEASE e-mail me??? My inbox has been dead lately........
Hey, I was reading your 'interests' on your profile and saw that you updated it? So I'd like to say, Rurouni Kenshin rocks!!
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