Quiet Stargazing

It's quiet, I feel distant
Deep inside, everything is so loud
But out here, in this instant
It's completely silent, 'cause no ones around

I'm completely alone, watching stars fall
My eyes trace them
Burning in the back of my mind after all
Even after they're gone

I suppose I can't fight it anymore, cause it's here
The site in front of me, the bright lights
The person I was before now is no where near
It's something completely different

Oh, the stars are shining in the dark, deep sky
Lit every night with the sun's last breaths
They shine bravely until morning is nigh
When the sun takes back what it gave

They're beautiful all the same,
God must have known I would like them
Just as when he gave you a name
He knew that I would whisper it in my prayers

So often there is the question of why
Or what exactly I did at what time
I question it all, and then defeated, sigh
It's not my place to do that

It seems somewhat strange, somewhat crazy
Like I'm half of something wonderful
And then half of the reality that is growing hazy
As I blink in the cold, dry, winter air

I wrap my arms tighter about myself
And I look upwards to the heavens
Searching for the silver pieces that show the King's wealth
Cascading thoughts surround me

Little first moment; when was it?
I actually have no idea
You could search forever, yes, never quit
I certainly have done that

And I still can't tell you when
I first saw a star in the sky
And I still can't tell you when
I imagined I'd be where I am

And I still can't tell you when
I first saw the night's darkness
And I still can't tell you when
I'll understand any of this



Writing helps me get stuff off of my mind. I'm amazed if this even makes any sense, considering how I can't really write or make sense of anything concerning letter right now....or words...
 They don't seem to form quite right. And even if they do (like they are right now), I spend a lot of time back-tracking to *just makes sure* I got ever last one in the right place.
 Because it's either really funny or a real pain when you start typing/writing like English is your second language.

 *crazy part of my brain* It is, it is!!! Japanese was your first language! You just don't know it!!!

 -Argent

 (Actually, the chances are higher that *German* would be my first language, since my Dad speaks fluent German, but...I'm pretty darn sure it isn't. It would never explain my grammatical issues, since German has similar grammar to English)