Hurt Pt. 2 (ChunHee)

It's moments like these when I miss someone or some feeling, but I can't describe it fully.

So I put it on paper, then erase it, then write it again, then erase it, turning away from the page with fear that my message will be misunderstood, or misguided, or misread.

Fearing that the wrong eyes or ears might see and know my complex feelings. Fearing that vulnerability.  

I try to hide it, then try to show it, then try to hide it again. I hope that someone might see it in my eyes, or hear it in my voice, but I wish so greatly that I won't have to show my heart to anybody but that one select person, so I don't know how to behave.

I don't want everyone to know what I'm thinking or feeling.

But I want someone to know.  


-Park ChunHee

Once again I'm writing from ChunHee's perspective, perhaps with some of my own emotions sprinkled in. Honestly, of all of the characters in The Summer Colors of You, I feel that ChunHee's moods match my own quite frequently, but at a lower intensity, of course (I'm not suicidal, obviously). I think that the way he expresses his feelings really matches with mine; rather than talk about it, he goes and locks himself up in the bathroom and refuses to speak to anyone. I think this is one of ChunHee's parts that most accurately describes my own feelings. You don't know it, but even this short paragraph has been erased and rewritten more times than I can count.

-Argentia Krystofel