Fading

Original typed version: September 29, 2013, at 10:04 PM

The expression you wear
The lights flickering in your eyes
Your lips mouth a suggestion
"Stay," and the truth hits me

This can't last, it never will
Like paper back then
I could be crumpled in your hands
And I realize the truth

You came to represent that time?
It's not truly your being that I miss, right?
Because what significance was that?
Why is everything now becomming dark?

The words "I'm leaving," were bitter
Like a death wish for the past
You suggested a simple future
Oh, now I realize the truth

Chances to be were lost
The very moment before they began
Wishes or prayers for you, all were useless
You are too far away

I can't be this way,
I become disgusted with myself
My attitude adopts a stench from it
I can't face the truth

You were leaving, is that why I cried?
Or was it because I fell in love with your ghost?
I threw a coin so high it hasn't landed yet
Will I claim heads or tails, tell me now

Do you appreciate this madness of mine?
Can I create a more moving fairytale for myself?
Just imagine 168 hours for the past
Isn't that the truth?

Did you look back?
Did your shoulders even flinch?
Because I didn't see your eyes when I turned
And paused for a silent moment of the truth

Why I faltered I don't know
Why did I break under your eyes?
What about me was so cool then
Why did I lose it now?

I still remember
The image of your back
Your shoulders turned to me
The way your clothes wrinkled

Every acute detail is now mine to hold
Your messy hair and dark arms
Offset by ash and smoke, conformity
Black eyes, black sky, black pavement

Why, when, for what reason?
Did I meet your gaze that day?
Your clear image is now so blurred
I just wish I could've seen the truth

Freedom; everything became a wonder
My heart is clenched by this feeling
"Oh God, what was that?" I cry
Maybe there's a reason, but I'm blind

You and your ghost are gone
Your streets, your lights, your entire world
All is so far away, dead, deep within my heart
I still don't know the truth.