Trying to Fly

"I think I don't know at all yet...what or who I am."

This summer was one of the best of my life. I stayed home in Wytheville, my little hometown in the mountains that no one knows exists. I worked at Subway, almost 38 hours towards the end of my stay, and it exhausted me and taught me how unimportant people think service jobs are and how much I need and love coffee. I spent time with my friends, old and new, and I questioned love, affections, loyalty, choices, and dreams over and over again.
I learned how to set a car into a spin (but I still don't know how to use the turn signal), and I discovered the pain of returning to a place you left in fear and frustration. I felt the chilly breeze of midnight in deep summer and smelled the perfume of asphalt and hay on Cove Road. I dipped my feet in the cool puddles at Dismal Falls and gazed upon the crystal clear blue of Holston Lake. I saw the wonders of the quiet hillsides and the glitter of bustling New York City. I discovered that sometimes, it's the boring guy who is most charming, and sometimes, we want that which we do not need.
I prefer drifting over speeding and stargazing over sunsets, and I don't like Starbuck's Flat White. I would trade candy for fresh raspberries any day, children are more of a handful than I realized, and getting less than enough sleep will never be the end of the world (though you might not remember anything the next day). More things make me cry than they used to, more people make me smile than before, and more memories have been made than I can count. 
I'm back at school now. I'm not the woman I was last semester or the woman I was this summer in Wytheville. I'm changing, growing. I will never be that person again, and that's okay. I'm still learning how to fly. Discovering, in a unique and personal way, who I am, who I want to be, and how to get there.
Sure, it's my fourth year of school, but how does that change anything?  We're young and very, very free, and we can do anything.
So when friends come to me asking me, "how do I spread my wings?", I hope they realize that they're changing, growing, improving, and being. Don't plan yourself out of options. Don't always stay with what feels safe or what you know best. Go out and explore everything and everyone. Then you will be a bird in the sky, not a fish in the bowl.

-A.K.-