Sunday, August 14, 2011

The Sarcastic Narrarator is Introduced

(EDIT)


Greetings.
 My name is Lukas, and I am the son of the usual, filthy rich, high-and-mighty, greedy nobleman.
 I know this is the most boring opening for a story ever, but you must understand that it's imperative to the plot that you know what kind of background I have.
 Maybe it's just important that you continue reading. Either way...do whatever you wish. I won't try to convince you to go on.
 I'm a fairly average nobleman's son; lanky, with dark hair and rigid features, generally neglected by parents, tutored by the second best in the land (best saved for the prince, you know), but hating of my studies, and bearing the evidence of an old wound which...I'll explain later. Did I mention brooding and secretive?
 So maybe that is why I found myself here, at the gates of this ancient witches' fortress...it was probably a great castle once before something drastic happened, but I haven't studied history very diligently for the last year so I don't know.
 All I am certain of is that I received a letter from Lord Richard. Lord Richard is my...second cousin, I believe. Anyways, we all decided to forget about him when a few years ago he suddenly moved out to this abandoned witches' fortress and decided to begin showing some sure signs of insanity-never speaking to anyone, locking himself in his room, and having a keen interest in the dark arts.
 Coincidentally, it seems Lord Richard hasn't forgotten about me.
 He wanted me to do him a favour, on the condition that I would tell no one. There was, of course, an installment of the money he was willing to pay me if I did what he wanted included with his little package.
 I'm a normal guy, really. Money, land and reputation aren't important to me at all...I'm so normal, in fact, that I threw the letter away and never even thought twice about it.
 Ahem. So, after the brief moment (about two seconds) of considering his offer, I immediately set about preparing to go meet him.
 After all...this much in gold coins doesn't normally come to me like this.
 Who would have thought it would be as simple as just kissing a fine maiden to awaken her from a cursed, magical and accidental slumber?
 Ah...the scrapes I have always managed to get myself into...

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