Saturday, May 20, 2017

비트윈 (between)

"your memories will be deleted
in a few days time,
act now before it's too late."
and I hesitate,
the remnants of my cellphone
app relationship,
all those sweet messages I
never received,
they call out to me
before
I delete
the thoughts, what am
I thinking, that the dream could be
mine?
even now I stand back,
and stare at the ceiling,
filled up with self-doubt
"Re: Between,
Will anyone ever
stop caring what other's think,
stop saying 'you're pretty good
at chopsticks for a white girl',
and stop feeling ashamed
of loving me?"

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

My Translucency

rejecting others is
gouging your own eye
for you reject yourself
the smallest fleck
of your being, your soul
knows damage inflicted,
"I am cleansing"
but you are killing,
driving
like a cold, freezing rain
the darkest winter night
of my life,
you break away
separate, like two microbes
growing into new demons,
from those who loved
and made you a new home,
imperfect and flawed
their pale skin and
ruddy palms, their blue veins
-all mine-
were there for you,
"money is the root of all evil,"
and materialism
is the god of
hatred,
a man said we should love
but he was never
spoken of,
growing away is not a good thing
but I pray to leave your midst,
though my hand rested
against your chest and
I heard your heartbeat,
you
are the hypocrite to my honesty,
though I loved you
you saw nothing in me
but my reflection,
though warmth filled my body
when you embraced me,
you saw my
Carolina-blue blood
seeping through
my translucency,
and halted.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Mister (아저씨)

that mister won't leave my head,
like the taste
of good coffee brewed
in the afternoon, he is smoking up
my mind like gray, snowy days
in the cold subway,
true gentleman
sending me off properly,
his sleight frame coming
from somewhere I
might not return,
as I slid down the streets
of Incheon, I saw
my own reflection in the ice,
little frozen rivers
spilling from fish tanks,
where the trapped squid
protests, his tentacles
stuck to the glass,
when your eyes grew wide and
you swore you'd
see me more, I wondered
like I have before
if his hands
knew their way to mine,
mystically, like the air
around him seemed to
make me drunk, starry eyed
that day in the sunlight,
pasty smell of
wet paint and cold stone,
in the past I could see
his body next to me
and never did I take myself
this seriously, the
unnattainable
is our greatest temptation
we shut ourselves down
and block it out,
regardless of the reason
winter is a bad season,
love under blankets and
wrapped up in sweaters,
a dangling lure
on a wire
he's never said his desire,
might be the same as mine
but I think I saw it
that day
in his warm brown eyes,
or perhaps his embrace
less careful than before,
smelling of his newest
risky behavior,
he won't get out of my mind.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

"oh, casual" (NaPoWriMo Day 4)

show me
how you learned to
take your clothes off
so easily, i don't think
i'll ever learn to
live like that
i'm probably, yes
most likely an idealist,
casual just doesn't
appeal to me,
sex with strangers is
too much and i
accidentally have
conservative morals,
what's a stranger?
i'm so glad you asked, boy,
cause i'm not sure,
i'll probably keep
looking around,
hanging on
to my middle-school
view of love,
dazed and blurry eyed
and young, i can
never be too serious---yet,
i'm still not enough fun,
wondering if
some amazing romance
will hit me, until then
i guess this
is who i am.