Poetry

Collection of Poetry

Azure (12-14-12)

In the last minutes of daylight
The last words, the last seconds, the last decisions
The world seems to tighten its grasp
Dwindling light of the dying sun

Then emotions pool out, sweet release
Like the glorious night sky above, star-studded wonder
Burning tears falling from eterny
A moment of quiet connections

This world is so beautiful
My heart beats so intensely in my chest when I fall asleep
The voices reverberating in my mind
Notes of the song of being

I close my eyes when stillness sets in
A pause that means something to me, and I can't explain
Through today is tomorrow
Don't forget it

This feeling is extraordinary
And I search for meaning through the azure haze

~

Into What (12-1-12)

Fifteen miles out, the ocean is glimmering
Call me, and I will soon carry us away
No questions need be asked
We need no rhyme nor reason

Escapade, speak those words together
You don't have to fall into nothing
I'll seek out a journey for us to embark upon
While you seek to fill the void of a quiet moment

Chasing the star-studded sky
Will our guide be forged out of thin air?
Painful names repeated in my head
Two comrades, experiencing our hardships

Why don't we try to fight? Make sense of it all?
I reword my sentences again and again
But nothing comes out correctly
Hearts broken, thoughts stilled, words stifled

If eyes were the windows to the soul...
 
~

Lonely Winter (11-23-12)

I want to watch the snow fall outside my window
In the cold darkness outside, warmly with you
Winter is coming slowly 
To the time of your gentle heartbeat

I would be delighted to walk down main street
Gloved hands shoved into our pockets
Guarding against the cold
Bright lights in our eyes

Stars will fall around us, if we just walk together
Please, don't walk apart from me, not too far
I will miss you until I know you
It's not a shameful thing to me

Longing for a handsome smiling face
This does not mean I'm not thankful
Loneliness is not always pain
Firmly believed, quietly stated, often contemplated

Let's not waste away our winter with wishing
But don't forget to think about me
As I think about you
Lonesomely speaking to the stars 

~

Expanse (11-11-12)

My feelings are inaudible right now, out of sight
They dissappear into the cold, awaiting night
Patient as it is, looking down with starry eyes
Clear skies

I wish I could lie out beneath the stars and stare
Make patterns of faces in the sky
Travel thousands of miles
Greetings, friend

I want to float through the clouds on a sunny day
A warm day in June, summer's arrival
Touchdown on the bustling, running bright city
Grab a snack, take a bus to the seaside

I breath in the chilly fall air, frozen world in the snow
I want to ice skate across an ocean
Somewhere far away, with thoughtful and crystalline solitude
Where the leaves fall quietly

I want to see the skyline, gray and dismal
Offer an umbrella to a passing stranger
Because you can only buy one for six dollars instead of three
Cluching frail arms, water dripping from a small, flat nose

I dream of walking the beaches again, in the sunset light
Observing the boats, lit up on the distant, never-ending sea
Trails of airplanes and the first few stars in the brilliant blue
While the water reflects golden sunlight close to the shore

And perhaps snowflakes dancing down, a youthful moment
Life in a snowglobe, winds blowing softly
Peering into a warm, crackling fire, clutching loving gifts in my hands
Gray winter world, perfect timing

I suppose the stars could also greet me
If they weren't quite so far away
And so very empty
Lifeless

But for now, on solid ground, the stars are bursting with life
They are a beacon for us to sail by
A picture for us to observe together
Possiblities for us to dream about

Without the burning lights, a contemplative night
Is the same in all seasons; it does not change
Expanse of black, little stars, maybe a moon
Thoughts

~

Days (10-31-12)

I'm even bleeding and I don't feel it
Because my hands are so cold, so cold

But my heart is beating fast
My feet are shifting, don't notice, don't notice

It's a long sigh as I use my chapped lips and stiff tongue
To breathe a voice of recognition, for it's all here, it's all here

Winter came earlier than predicted
My soul is calling for more time to the rain, the rain

The grayness of the clouds, swirling above me
The moment of quiet stillness, it brings me alive, alive

November is the definition of who I am in a ways
Quiet, still, traditional, cold and dead, and yet warm, warm

I'm warm right now, yet I'm freezing
Anticipation is taking over my life and I'm nervous, so nervous

~

Fear (10-11-12)

 (Note: This is written from the perspective of my character Park ChunHee from my recently named story The Summer Colors of You, and has nothing to do with my own state of being. In other words, I'm not depressed or suicidal. This is for character development...and I felt like writing something from his perspective. ^^)


It's so white and gray and cold in this place
I stopped feeling anything long ago
This apathy has overcome me
Yet I'm consumed deep within by anger

Perfect is so short a moment
We can't live it very long, before it burns out
The time becomes ash, floating off in the wind
Like the sparks that ignite and disappear into the night

Certainly my path grew wide open and unreliable
My heart faltered and my hands shook with pain
Things I thought I would never endure, I survived
I survived, and I breath in this moment

My tears are a sign that I'm still here
An aching reminder of my human imperfection
A failure I became in the moments of darkness
Soon to disappear like everyone else has

I'm going to die tonight, and it hurts
It hurts so much as I feel tears begin to fall from
My tired, blood-shot eyes, endlessly searching
For something to cling on to, I grasp wildly

I'm angry, and I'm hurt, and I don't know what I want
They've all thrown me away; they called me worthless
I'm an idiot who can't learn anything and doesn't speak to you
Because I hate this place and I hate these people

I hate everything; people, places, words
If I could escape everything, it might be peaceful
But I'm afraid to disappear forever
I'm afraid.

~

He's Leaving (9-21-12)

Black hair framing a gentle face, skin kissed by sun
Black eyes that glitter with childish whims
He gives me a bright grin, showing crooked teeth
And I find I must smile softly back at him

I met him on the warm streets in the evening
Beneath the glorious moon, in front of that magical place
His white button-down untucked, his black slacks wrinkled
A winning smile plastered on his dreamy young face

In that single moment, I knew there was nothing to be done
I couldn't tell him to leave or to stay
His suitcase hung over his shoulder as he walked alone
The man made his way into my heart that day

Tonight, my heart feels like it will shatter, each piece a memory
The warm pavement, afternoon ice cream, evening walks
Each magical moment of freedom, each whisper of romance he brought me
All of them will dissapear with his absence

He takes my hand and leads me out onto the still, quiet beach
'Let's take a walk?' he entreats with puppy-eyes
'I can't, it's cold,' and without a word across my shoulders his arms reach
His warmth is like the fiery sun; boldly passionate, gently reassuring

My footsteps in the cold sand, he hums a sweetly sad tune under his breath
I inch a little closer to him and catch the faint thumping of his heart
As the waves beat against the shore in time, a choppy rhythm like our thoughts
I clutch the slightly weathered, long fingers of his brown hand tighter

'Ouch, you're squeezing', but I don't care, and the thoughts of his departure cloud my good judgement
He continues to ignore my silence, chatting about the sea, the skittering creatures, the winds
The stars, brighter than any night yet, are a parade of celestial wonders, marching to God's alignment 
My lonesome heart replays the song of life in it's fullest bloom

There he stops, his feet planted in the soft sand, and he sighs, like he's afraid of it himself
He takes his arm from my shoulders and bows his head, black, windswept hair
'I've got to go now,' he explains in his painfully quiet voice, barely above a whisper 
I try my hardest to look at him and nod, but I feel angry and upset inside

'For how long?' I ask, but before I receive an answer, his lips touch mine
A brief peck of a kiss, rushing pulse, scattered emotions, overwhelmed in the sensation
Summer lets my hand slip from his
And turns away.


~



Dreamland (07-26-12)

I wake up every morning with the sun in my face
 Someone shouting at me to start my day
And memories of the silvery dreams of night still behind my eyes

I don't know the details, I just remember faces
Faces that used to never appear in front of me
A voice I've never heard before, where did it come from?

Dark pools of knowledge and lost time overtake me
They overwhelm me with their voices of mourning
For long moments I cannot breath at all; I suffocate

'I'm...I'm dying...' are the words in black and white
But if I read them, could I save a single soul?
No, not even if I ran through the stars could I save your life

The galaxy above me keeps turning silently
As if the sky knows something I don't
And I feel like my heart has stopped beating

I don't know; it's too complicated to pinpoint
If I ever go away, please let me leave
And when someone runs, they seem to make a stand

The dew-kissed dreamland is about to crash into reality
Perfect little world, awakened by voices
Blue and green colors are beginning to merge together

I won't let pieces of my heart disappear; I won't let go
This could be false and misleading
But I decided to pursue it, and I will follow through

Something strong and cold grips my heart like a fist
And I pull myself into this world again
Perhaps the dream will stop torturning me, over and over



Even though night after night, I cannot remember the details.

 ~

 To another ISFJ,  (7/5/12)

-prose-

 Strange how we're walking forward through life
 Both individuals, yet somehow similar
 It's practically a mystery to me
 How sometimes, what you say is so familiar

 I've found courage and I've found shelter; both so warm
 But I've never found someone so alike
 A person who thinks the very same thoughts which I
 Have quietly considered in my heart

 So when you were hurting, I knew it was awful
 And when you were strong, I was impressed
 When you cried, I realized your sincerity
 And your insignificant words, their true value

 You aren't really warm and inspiring
 Not in the same fashion as others, but that's not important
 There's a feeling of comradery and safety
 Or an assurance that everything will work out


 Simple; not confusing at all, to be honest
 Enjoyable and yet frustrating, because my faults glare at me
 Does it prick that careful nature? That desire to be perfect?
 I know it must be there somewhere

Peacemaker.
Emotional.
Careful.
Practical.
Nurturing.
Quiet.
Stoic.
Strong.
Enduring.
Selfless.



 Can we embrace what we love about ourselves, and begin to change what we hate? Can we become better people through the rest of our lives, or will we turn out like others who have walked a path and faltered halfway through-still standing there, clueless as to how to take the next step?
 Only Christ can prevent it. Lean on Him.
  
~

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow (06-23-12)

Keeping it quiet, I breath in, I breath out
This was surely a very short story
I have too many fears and things to lose
I never lived this way before

I wanted to hide myself away, and never show my face
If I could escape this feeling, I would
I don't want anything to disappear, but most importantly
Please hear this, my words written out

In my loudest voice, I silently shout at the sky
The moon above me, I see it glowing softly
This view is everywhere, that's how I think about it
So it offers a little pain with its consolations

Everything around me here is an ironic picture
Not one moment is left empty
Memories, thoughts, feelings, all are tied together
And I can't fly away anymore

What shall I say so it sounds less confusing?
That no one will leave me alone?
That I'm angry because everything was disturbed?
That I'm bursting with happiness at this evening...

Each sensation is still very clear to me
Sunlight and shadow patterns on the sidewalk
The heat and the buzzing sound of A/C
Burned into my memory, never to leave

Tasting sweet and sour, salty and bland
Taking in deep breaths of the night
I want to share everything I kept, but it's beginning to fade
Could this suffice for now?

Please, I promise, I will be more diligent
I'll capture everything inside
So when the next person leaves that quickly
I'll stop them in their tracks

I hold friendships and possibilities and hopes for the future
In the palm of my hand, but like tissue paper
They may blow away in the wind if I don't hold tight enough
I'm wrapping my fingers around them, so don't bring a hurricane.


~



No Man (06-17-12)

He takes long strides, quick steps through the bright city
But he cannot escape his pursuers
In one sweeping motion, they come upon him as a cloud
They overtake him in a moment

His dark eyes scan the horizon; tired
Steeped in apathy, he stares blankly
Like he doesn't even care to fight it

He seeks to simply exist and be done

He's disgusted with being treated like an object
To be possessed by one lucky person
His opinions can't be expressed, his thoughts are blocked
By the surging crowd and the screaming voices

Yes, they close in quickly, clinging to his clothing
Seeking to reach in and rip out his heart
And destroy all just for the purpose of simply knowing
Following his every move like cats after their prey

Yes, he chose this for himself
He's made himself known to the world
But he has every right as a human being
To disclose what he wishes, and hide what he must

This man was so foreign to me then, but now
As I watch him carefully
He seems kind and reasonable, beautiful, yet
Trapped in fear and anxiety

Questions run through my mind
Why make this choice?
Why live this life?
But he will never give me an answer

How does this man, or any man
Live like this?
Fending off the attackers with whatever means
To preserve what little dignity is left?

It hurts me to watch this happen
Even though I am normally so composed
I feel anger and frustration and sadness
At the unjust behavior and the pain...

May I write this poem about you?
I think about you late at night
Can my voice be heard by those parasites
Killers who dig deep to destroy a person...
Even though this still continues
You'll be alright, won't you?




~





Sky Blue (05-23-12)

Seemingly mesmerizing me
I've never experienced this before
But it's somehow a part of my memory
The faces and colors softly fading

Even if I close my eyes it's still here
The sky blue color that flashed in my vision
The familiar face that I cannot name appears
Then turns and disappears into the confusion

A turn in the sunlit pathway I walk upon
But can you tell me which direction to go?
No man can see this future that can't be counted on
I never allow myself to assume otherwise

Even if I try, the memories of this face
Will not go away
No matter where I go, memories of this place
Continue to haunt me

No one knows who has come and who has gone
In this rainy, dreary, silent day
Yet when the most simple things leave me to be alone
I feel as if I've lost a bit of my heart

As time passes slowly, yet without care
Many may pass by this place
Where they think no one stood, they'll stand there
They'll never know of  you

The stranger that walked upon this earth
That captured the mind of a poetess
Though no one knows of this stranger's worth
He stole her words and wrote this story


~


Butterfly (03-19-12)

I finally caught you today, little butterfly
You reappeared this afternoon
Just as I suspected, you're terribly sly
And only came after the flowers had bloomed

Well, I wore floral perfume today
So will you land on my shoulder?
There's a lot I wanted to say
Before you disappeared earlier

Yes, I wanted to ask how you've been
Where have you journeyed,
what places have you seen?
You left for a long while

Your wings seem to sparkle, as if you wink
Oh, I've seen so much, you reply
But you're completely silent, and I think
You're not leaving; why?

Then you flutter past my face, and in a sudden rush
You're no longer the white butterfly I once knew
Instead, a pretty man smiles at me, and I flush
The answer is clear, but I still want to ask 'who are you?'

You bow, removing your hat, smoothing your red coat
'Shall we?' you hold out your hand and I take it
Colors and pictures surround me, through the air we float
I open my eyes to find that I am lost, but it's with you

It's the Butterfly World, I guess, and it almost glitters
The most beautiful place I've ever seen
As you show me your world; I feel like I'm in a theater
Watching a fantasy film, or living in a dream

Your home is full of magic and mystery
'So this is where you go in winter'
You smile, eyes sparkling, looking at me
And you don't give me any answer

We see the ocean, the forest, the sky
We talk and laugh, you're like a good friend
You're a gentleman, Mr. Butterfly,
You are good to me; you're like a rare gem

I stare into your dark brown eyes; so gentle
You take my hands in yours; so warm
The moonlight kisses your face
And you kiss my lips.

I think to myself; who will believe this?
First person to speak to a butterfly,
Hold hands with a butterfly
Kiss a butterfly.

And now a man has become a butterfly
He's flown away from me again
It was all just a dream, but I won't cry
No; because this isn't the end


~


Pensive (05-05-12)

I'm thinking.


 Even if everything is quiet, I still know
 The world is slowly turning
 The candle's wick is slowly burning
 The time is not long till we go

 Lights, action, fire, boldness, spirit
 Last chance to speak, quickly gone
 Without a guide, we won't last long
 For the first time, I stop believing it

 Run and run, keep trying to escape
 The trap's been set, I'm watching
 What do you think, just waiting?
 It won't change that I'm far too late

 What can I do when you don't want any help?


Dying Light (04-13-12)

Slowly smile as the light dies away
Don't ask questions, just stand alone
In the quiet moment at the end of the day
Take a deep breath, no words to condone

Or condemn the fact that the sun has gone
That another day of life is spent
The world is turning, you don't have long
And time is one which will not repent


Think about it for a moment, will you?


~

Sunrise (02-10-12)

Flying open, the windows will break
The mountains are black against the rising sun
The room is completely silent and I'm wide awake
As the reflection of my face stares at me

Making a moment in time to remember
The slight creaking of the floor beneath my feet
I'm reminded that it's no longer December
The smell of coffee from downstairs

Early hour, the day is greeting me with light
This likewise untouched moment
As I give thanks for keeping me through the night
To the One who causes the sun to rise

The One who blesses me every time I breathe
I inhale yet again, blowing out slowly
This place is so warm, I strongly believe
I'm not just standing here alone


~

I'm Dreaming Tonight (12-30-12)

I do begin to wonder quietly to myself right now...
I try not to mention it aloud
But it's bothering me so, without a doubt
I'm left here asking questions in the back of my mind

Nothing can even explain this feeling
Words cannot measure up
I don't even know what it is
I don't quite know what I'm dealing with

I'm seeing those hazy images in my mind
Made alive as soon as I closed my eyes
The words that were said, I hear them
I keep convincing myself otherwise...

The sun rising early, the palest glow
The dreams I was sharing so carelessly
Glorious colors are fading to gray now
Places in the back of my mind, and lastly

Streetlights, softly warm and bright
I've always loved them more than anything
I would go out just to see them tonight
Just to dream about tomorrow

~


7 Months (10-25-11)

I still watch the same films
And I still read books of the same genres
I still have the same whims
And a strange fascination with commas

But my thoughts are somewhere beyond
It's farther than you would have imagined
But close to me as if joined by a great bond
A world that you would never have fathomed

You're probably thinking all of these things
That don't apply to me right now
But I am thinking about you, though sadness it brings
And I am simply wondering exactly how

You perceive me now; I guess I shouldn't worry
Insignificant, after all, I speak no more
Neither do I hear, see, or care, so you won't feel sorry
But they don't hear me, either, I know for sure

My voice is a quiet whisper among the masses
Do you think we could be friends now?
Now that I don't gaze through tinted glasses
Now that I see the whole picture in front

I've been thinking of you a lot today
And yesterday, and the day before that, it's always here
The thoughts of you and your funny way
Of making me feel frustrated yet happy whenever you were near

For a while there, I wanted you to know
The pain in someone else's eyes
Drove me to changing into this, just to show
Those silent moments I asked "who cries?"

The summer days were warm and humid
It rained nearly all the time, as if the sky knew
The way that we had all been somehow wounded
By the days that had worn us through

But by now, I'm doing okay, actually, better
I might have changed just a little
As I sit here, I compose a short, simple letter
And you can see into my world now.

The time since the last picture of you and I
Has been nearly filled, yet I worry
And I still miss you a little, and I ask why
You came into my life and left just as quickly?

I don't want to be left without words.
 

~

Quiet Stargazing (12-02-11)

 It's quiet, I feel distant
Deep inside, everything is so loud
But out here, in this instant
It's completely silent, 'cause no ones around

I'm completely alone, watching stars fall
My eyes trace them
Burning in the back of my mind after all
Even after they're gone

I suppose I can't fight it anymore, cause it's here
The site in front of me, the bright lights
The person I was before now is no where near
It's something completely different

Oh, the stars are shining in the dark, deep sky
Lit every night with the sun's last breaths
They shine bravely until morning is nigh
When the sun takes back what it gave

They're beautiful all the same,
God must have known I would like them
Just as when he gave you a name
He knew that I would whisper it in my prayers

So often there is the question of why
Or what exactly I did at what time
I question it all, and then defeated, sigh
It's not my place to do that

It seems somewhat strange, somewhat crazy
Like I'm half of something wonderful
And then half of the reality that is growing hazy
As I blink in the cold, dry, winter air

I wrap my arms tighter about myself
And I look upwards to the heavens
Searching for the silver pieces that show the King's wealth
Cascading thoughts surround me

Little first moment; when was it?
I actually have no idea
You could search forever, yes, never quit
I certainly have done that

And I still can't tell you when
I first saw a star in the sky
And I still can't tell you when
I imagined I'd be where I am

And I still can't tell you when
I first saw the night's darkness
And I still can't tell you when
I'll understand any of this

~

He Dreams Through the Noise (11-16-11)

I see you standing in the terminal
You're holding your arms that certain way
And you're looking about, confused,
And I can't seem to fight the feeling to look away


He's looking at me, head on, eyes so bright
I feel like this moment means absolutely nothing
But somehow, I don't care, because it's all in sight
Crazy with dreams, thoughts truly are something

The lights were bright and beautiful
The voices were something I will never forget
The faces were smiling and youthful
But there was a pair of eyes still filled with regret

Maybe it wasn't regret, more at maturity
So I'm left breathless,
He dreams through the noise, ah, so freely
And leaves me speechless

Who are you, a stranger in the back of my mind?
Dark curtains drawn by the passage of time
The words mean everything and nothing, because you're blind
Why am I still writing this, ponderings of mine?

Because it's just a small amount of time, say a year
That's all that's said to me,
All that I am expected to spend on this, dear
And I can't believe it, see

But then, there's reality, and people, and things
And there's the look on his face that strikes me
So I'm discontent with the evening and the starlight it brings
This strange discussion, this time isn't free.



Inspired by Vienna Teng's song 'Recessional'.

~

Distant (11-06-11)

Distant and very silent
 As people go walking by
 Distant and discontent
 But I'm starting to ask, why?

 Why be silent and why follow
 Every rule that's set up
 Why be distant, why swallow
 Your words that I know are there?

 I can nearly feel the cold air's nip
 And see the starry black sky
 I can touch your coat and feel it slip
 Through my fingertips, and by and by

 I'm starting to wonder again
 Why are people far away?
 I'm starting to ponder when
 Or how long you'll act this way




~


The Moment (11-06-11)

The sky is an open space of blue
 With little white clouds like snow drifts
 Dotting the sky; white ink splotches
 It's chilly; the scattered leaves the wind lifts

 Are flying up towards the sky
 The sky that I stare at with wonder
 I wish by dreams I could fly
 And that I could lift the leaf you are under

 I know that there are places I've never seen
 And I wish I could taste the air
 I wish I weren't standing here where I've been
 And instead I am standing there
 
 Right now, I want to be just a certain way
 But I know my place and it's here
 Maybe, I can see it in my dreams and someday
 That chance will be more near

 The leaves clatter on the nearly empty branches
 Like little hands giving an applause
 The sunlight, golden and bright, dances
 Upon everything and for a moment, I pause

 It's beautiful.




~


The Wind of November (11-03-11)


 Blowing against my face gently
 The wind whispered around me

 I stared up at the gray, clouded sky
 And I saw all I ever wanted to see

 The world was quiet as I took a walk
 I kicked at the dry leaves cluttered on the road

 I felt like the whole world was huge,
 And I felt as if I were bearing a very heavy load

 The wind tossed the tiny dead leaves and flowers
 The gentle wind, but somehow I began to think

 Why the wind? Why the wind?
 Whether it's a gentle breeze, or a great typhoon

 It always manages to move something
 Doesn't it, and it will move that something soon

 Do you know where the wind that you love
 Do you know where it comes from?

 Why does it fill you with such breathlessness?
 Gray skies, bare trees, heading home

 I pulled my jacket closer, I took longer strides
 I took it in with wonder

 The air, cold, real, and yet numbing
 The wind of November

 The wind that I feel, that you've felt
 The wind that moves you

 The wind that fills you with emptyness
 The wind from Who?







~

Rain (11-03-11)




It's raining
 Raining here, raining there

It's pouring down the windowsill,
 The tiny droplets like kamikaze flights

You know it well, the rain
 Does it speak your heart sometimes?

It's raining
 Raining on your shoulders,

Shadows make their flight
 And fill your head with doubt as they go

It's raining
 The swishing sound of cars outside

Writing in the night
 As the rain patters on the roof; dark tears

It's raining
 Nearly, you can hear the loneliness

That's hidden in the rain
 That's evoked within us whenever it falls

The quietness we feel
 When the rain is pittering, pattering, even roaring

But I don't know the answer to this
 Or why the rain falls like it does

All I can say is the rain,
 In it's quiet, yet moving way

Seems to seek an answer.


~

Untitled (09-30-11)

Flowers, yellow-my favorite color
 Someone said to give one away
 But I couldn't do anything of the sort
 Still, took it home that day

 It sits on my dresser now
 Along with other things of note
 Special, a little memory
 A diary entry that someone else wrote

 Things were inevitably simple then
 As the past does normally go
 Fall is the season I learn things, I think
 I think it enables a person to grow

 I think that we all learned something
 Really, in retrospect, I'm sure
 That she and he and you and they
 Learned something amidst the blur

 Of leaves and laughs and the bright blue sky
 With clouds drifting through it,
 Three dimensional clouds that I never looked at before
 And walkways the sun has lit

 Perfect hours of rushing and warmth
 That was a long time ago
 A new friend, lost ones, different things
 That before I didn't know


 I won't forget, I promise forever
 Leather gloves, English accents, and flat caps
 Cold weather, running faster than before
 Still different than now, still less confusing, better perhaps

 Words filled the page, black on white
 Hours on ends spent thinking
 I longed and longed to truly learn how to write
 And that's what I spent my time doing


 Things were funny back then
 A lot of things are when you're young
 I wonder why, I wonder when
 We'll laugh like that, a song we've sung

 Burnt out like a candle on a lonely night
 It's a simple fact, truth of the matter
 Everything can't always go right,
 But I promise, I'll still try to remember

 Cold days, spent in my own world,
 Watching the trees slowly loose their leaves
 Their hands, raised toward the sky
 The harvest pictures, with wheat in sheaves

 Then there were those moments
 When I felt the coldness
 Even stronger, and it still torments
 My soul, why was it always this?


 Fall is coming on again,
 Brilliant, beautiful, yet cold
 What will it bring me?
 What does the season hold?

~

The Writer's Pen (09-19-11)

At an hour past midnight
The writer's pen strikes his paper


His pen is his sword
His pen is his alibi
His pen is all he needs to continue

He's a writer
A writer of love songs
His silence is beautiful
But his voice is strong

Writer, writer, in the night
Who is it who you search for?
What does lead your endless plight
What makes your thoughts soar?

Above your head, round and round
The reason is unknown to me
But I can tell, that without a doubt
Your pen is what helps you see

All you do is search and search
And lament your plight, your heartbreak
Even your life like a boat does lurch
Back and forth, back and forth, everything at stake

You shut down, lukewarm, but "satisfied"
But your pen always tells you more
Than you thought you knew
About yourself


~

No Doubt, Reprise (6/27/11)


A rush of air as I step forward
Starving for realism
The sudden truth that this isn't hard
And that this is the last moment

We didn't need any words at all
A silent conversation
Bright lights, cool wind, yellow wall
And I see that this is the last moment

I grip tighter; pain pounds in my feet
A constant beat in my head
The imperfect row like a city street
And I come to terms with this last moment 

The summer days are full of light
A hint of coffee and cologne
The memories swing with our flight
Like a whirlwind; this is the last moment

My heart throbs inside me
Now the world is full of color
Wrapping my hand around tightly
I seek to hold onto this last moment

The darkness, the fear, the contemplation
The support of one thing takes them
And away they go without need of explanation
Frozen in time, this last moment

I can't explain it; don't ask me to
It's a feeling, not a word
And a security; I can rely on You
Even in this crucial, last moment

The single song, the only way
Am I a hopeless thief
For trying my hardest to make it stay
That sweet, last moment

A picture of the past to the present
Completed, not framed, painting
Nothing needs added, nor asked for consent
And I find peace in the last moment


Things change, so do these places
Where you can cry 'I am safe!'
Not meeting any time-hunted, cruel gazes
Forever, No Doubt, last moment

So I stand, gazing at the banners in rows
And the lights, gently bright
Calling me forward, where my heart goes
The end of the last moment.


~




Untitled (06/24/11)



We speak to eachother
 Not in words but in strokes
 Each gray line forming a word
 Each shape, a sentence

 This is how it was, right?
 Yes, this is what is out of site
 This is how it is now
 Yes, this is why I'm drawing

 Gonna say something to that one
 Something I can't say with words
 Trial conversations, spoken anew
 I can't believe I won't make this sure

 But nothing matters anymore
 I contemplate as I create
 This is the now, this is the me
 I don't have to wait

 I'm stronger than they assume
 I'm brave enough to stand
 Even in this perfectly empty room
 I'm alone now in this broken land

 I miss the sunlight, but it never rains
 I stare at the dark lines and I wonder
 Will this be the dark which lasting brings?
 Forever and ever is all that matters

 The punctuation I can't find
 The reason behind my long sentencing
 The subject noun isn't neccesary
 For us to be in complete understanding

 If I simply go inside myself,
 That would solve my hesitance
 But for now I am a 'how you felt'
 And a 'the way time ticks by'

 I'm a Longfellow and an Elliot
 No matter how many people don't see
 Even if it doesn't make it
 To anyone, but me.

  ~

Thoughts on Snow (12.4.10)

-prose-

She is a cold wind, touched with crystalline beauty. She quietly keeps everyone locked up inside, forcing them to stop and contemplate the meaning of the season and their own lives. To some, she is a curse, to others, she is the greatest show of Winter. 

~