Sunday, January 29, 2017

Ice King

Sticks and stones
that's what they said it was,
Jenny pierced her ear and
I wore my new boots down to the Corner,
what a season, what a year
for new changes,
we didn't even drink coffee
I just sat in a big leather seat
too large for me,
in front of a roaring fire,
another cold-natured man
hoping for warmth,
attracting me
with his frost covered symphony,
I think if I meet one more
I'm going to scream.

Reading Aloud

You came too late
to hear my poem,
I ran from Shannon to Newcomb
just to be cold, and tremble
in a room full of people,
who had no idea what I was talking about,
it rained that night, I held
an umbrella in the air, you
didn't live there anymore
but people said you did,
I knew where you'd gone
probably your old haunts.
I went home quietly,
and drank three glasses of Lambrusco
the purple tint
staining my lips,
you had no idea how much
I wanted to dance in the rain
with you, humiliated
by my feelings, what was
there to feel embarrassed of?
My ceiling sprung a leak and
I could hear the dripping all night long,
and it was like my shame
"I like him, I like him,
what a terrible thing."

"The Advocate"

I remember our last embrace
on the brick sidewalks,
a bus heaving and sighing
hot steam from the engine
meeting our faces,
the gray clouds hanging low
with humidity, the
rain lying in wait for us to go home,
in my terrible state
of affairs, you knew
that I'm such a mess, that I'd
been running around
playing amazing for
heaven knows how many men,
I was even like that to you,
even though you were good to me
even though I didn't need to be,
I acted for them,
I was the perfect trophy,
religious country girl,
listening healer, personality-
psychology obsessed
liberated rebel, the
cultural expert for all, I tried
to be what I wasn't,
I reached for so many things,
and your eyes, which saw everything
met mine, and I knew it,
before you said "I just
didn't want you to feel empty
like there was something
you lacked or needed,
like you aren't perfect
the way God made you,"
I cried the whole night
because I replied
"Don't worry, don't worry
I'm alright."

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

"x" love

coins go rolling
from my shaking hands
and drop to the floor
of the car, and my eyes
fill up with tears
i leave them,
their small lives in my care
are over,

even if you loved me
even if you tried to,
my feelings have fallen
from my open palms,
they go rolling
about your heart
and they are no longer

i could say i love you,
even if i do
you wouldn't care,
it's a non-issue,
i am just another check
on the resume, another
life goal

i'd do it all for you
but i don't expect anything,
that's love, that is
why you're hard to please,
it's not that i couldn't
love you,
it'd just be a non-issue,
another of your boxes
struck down with an "x".