"The Advocate"

I remember our last embrace
on the brick sidewalks,
a bus heaving and sighing
hot steam from the engine
meeting our faces,
the gray clouds hanging low
with humidity, the
rain lying in wait for us to go home,
in my terrible state
of affairs, you knew
that I'm such a mess, that I'd
been running around
playing amazing for
heaven knows how many men,
I was even like that to you,
even though you were good to me
even though I didn't need to be,
I acted for them,
I was the perfect trophy,
religious country girl,
listening healer, personality-
psychology obsessed
liberated rebel, the
cultural expert for all, I tried
to be what I wasn't,
I reached for so many things,
and your eyes, which saw everything
met mine, and I knew it,
before you said "I just
didn't want you to feel empty
like there was something
you lacked or needed,
like you aren't perfect
the way God made you,"
I cried the whole night
because I replied
"Don't worry, don't worry
I'm alright."