He's pretty awesome-no matter where I go, I always think about him. He loves to tell me new and interesting things, and he can keep me talking for hours on end about stuff he has told me. There have even been times he has kept me up until early morning hours, filling my head with dreams of faraway places, adventures to foreign lands, and exciting new discoveries. Sometimes, we don't always get along; there are days when I pointedly avoid him, there are times he makes me cry, and there are times when I yell at him. There have even been days I feel like telling all of my friends what a jerk he is, and I have. Once, I even threatened to break up with him. I've hit him before and later regretted it, and I often fear that he will leave me as revenge for my complaints about him. I realize that my boyfriend is very important to me. I spend an average of some 45 + hours on him each week; if I didn't have my boyfriend, who would comfort me when I feel lonely? Who would always be there, rain or shine, to talk with me, to share ideas with me, to make me think about things I never thought about before? Who would inspire me to reach for my dreams, to work my mind to the highest capacity, to challenge myself? I can tell you that I truly do love my boyfriend, and even if he can be exhausting, I couldn't imagine being with anyone else in the entire world.
I'm sure by now you desperately want to know my boyfriend's name, or see a picture of this amazing man that has won over my fickle heart.
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| Image from 360solutions.com |
Before anyone starts feeling sorry for me or worried that I'm about to throw a pity party, don't panic! This is for laughs! So laugh people! I am married to my books.
To be serious, though, books aren't that amazing to me-just like anyone else, I need the company of other human beings sometimes, and a boyfriend isn't such a bad thought once you start throwing up the options in front of me. And believe me, it's hard to stay married to an object when a living, breathing, wonderful work of God is standing right in front of you: single, handsome, and smart. But alas, I ought to spent 45 hours a week in school or studying just for college classes and about 8 hours a week at work (this can change depending upon how many people they have on the crew, sick calls, people suddenly quitting, etc etc.) I'm trying to spend at least 5 hours a week studying Korean, and I spend 2 a week at the gym for P.E. class. Yes, once I equate school and eating, that still leaves me about 5 hours of free time a day, and I am the queen of wasting time, but I still don't understand why so many college students seem to be at school only to get a man.
Now, like I said earlier, I'm not trying to say I don't want a man. I'm not saying that at all.
I'm just wishing that more people (read: grandmother saying "so Argentia, have you met any interesting *nudge nudge* guys at school?") would understand that at this time in my life, I am not at school to find Mr. Right. I am at school to get my Associate's degree in Liberal Arts with the intention of transferring to a larger university in order to major in Linguistics with a double major or minor in East Asian Languages and Cultures with a focus in Korean language (mostly because I haven't decided yet). I repeat this sentence all the time. I will once again make it clear that I am not bitter: I love my current 'boyfriend' and I wouldn't trade my education opportunities for anything right now (remember the 'right now'-it will be important later on in this post).
I see so many couples on my college campus, and I hear so many students that around my age or older begin complaining about 'being perpetually single', or proclaiming that they are working on their 'Mrs. Degree'. I hate the very thought of me studying for a Mrs. Degree because it implies that all of my efforts at good grades, at looking presentable, at choosing a major, are all in the interest of finding my perfect match. When I come out of college without Mr. Right, what will I do with myself if my 'degree' was all about a person I never met? I'll be devastated, that's what I'll be.
So instead I have a different idea: why don't I choose a career I will enjoy, study hard because I love learning, and begin work because I want to make a positive contribution to society while waiting for Mr. Right to come along when it's the right time? (here's where 'right now' comes into play)
I'm not condemning having a relationship in college, or dating, or even getting married. I'm just saying I would rather wait. I don't see how anyone has the time for a serious relationship while trying to grovel up an exhaustive sum of money, ingest a ridiculous amount of information, and put forth time and energy into furthering their education. If you're actually trying to further your education, of course, which some people just aren't into, and I can understand that, too. After all, even I've thought of breaking up before.
Right now, and not to brag or anything, I could probably find a boyfriend. It's not like there aren't billions of single men out there on this earth, and I'm sure there's at least twenty-something good looking, intelligent, interested fellows that could put up with me for more than six months without finding themselves in an asylum afterwards. But I don't want one. I'll take friends-lots of friends-and we can be friends for a while, and if you're willing to wait, well, you might just be a very lucky guy someday (you'll probably be very unfortunate, honestly, because I'll still be pretty close to my books).
You'll just have to stick around to find out, though. As of this moment, I'm stuck with deep thoughts about economics, politics, and most of all, why someone would mistakenly say 'I feel hard' rather than 'I feel sad/angry/lonely' when trying to learn the English language. It can be isolating, but any time I start to complain about not having friends or a boyfriend, I look at those extra 5 hours each day, and I bury myself in either Korean dramas, some kind of writing, or yet another graphic novel or psychology book. Obviously, I'm in love, and there's no tearing me away for a while yet.
-Argentia Krystofel (I even use a pseudonym, how freakishly geeky and bookish is that?!)
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