Hello, all! Today I am going to talk about modesty, and a great stumbling block that is frequently forgotten when this topic is discussed. This isn't a response to any other post in particular, just my first comeback when considering the enourmous amount of blog posts, articles, and self-help books out there that touch upon issues of modesty.
Most of the solutions offered exhort women to watch what they wear in order to keep Christian brothers from the sin of lust. Of course, I don't deny the reality that men are very visually-oriented folks and that women should dress modestly. However, I feel that there is a certain group of modesty-advocates that go a little too far in giving women a hard time about their clothes, and to them I just have one thing to say-I support the adoption of a new standard of modesty for men. What are the details and why have I suddenly decided upon this?
Because, ladies, this entire video is a downright shame-
Can't you see it? Blatant immodesty. What? Can't you sense it? This video has a moment so risque that my mother even mentioned it to me!
Come on people. It doesn't take that much effort to notice such an obvious attempt to win over our hearts. Roy Kim is totally giving us 'the look' throughout several seconds of this video. He's wearing that expression which takes the breath away, makes the face burn, and hatches a gazillion little butterflies out of a caccoon somewhere inside your stomach.
And in my humble opinion, 'the look' is most apparent in the eyes.
Oh, those eyes. Couldn't many stare into those beauitful orbs, those windows to the soul, for hours on end?
Alright, so maybe I am a little weird. Maybe it is a bit unusual for a girl to find a man's eyes his most attractive feature.
But that's just it for me. The end of the road. If you don't have the eyes, you don't have anything.
These pretty peepers are such a pain some days, though, especially when a man knows how to use them. So, without further deliberation, I have decided that in order to meet my new standards for modesty, all men are required to wear sunglasses or blindfolds or welding masks or something to cover those twin heart-stealers, at all times. Especially the ones with a pretty shape, since I find them most attractive, and therefore the worst. I might be tempted to lust if a man looks into my eyes with 'the look'; that deep, soul-searching expression. Forbid it that he looks at me with that other, seductive expression. If he starts whispering sweet nothings into my ear, caution will find its place in the wind and be carried far, far away!
Alright, so I'll be serious now. I would never, ever, ever, ever wish it that all of the handsome men in my life stop showing off their beautiful eyes. I also don't think Roy Kim's video is shameful or risque-however, Mom did indeed express pity for me while we were watching it together. His kind of beauty just isn't fair, and makes you feel like hiding in a corner and crying about your hopeless fate.
Well, thankfully, most guys aren't giving me any seductive expressions. Even if I am subject to such, I can generally deal with it and move on. I've heard some guys can't do this in relation to women, and for that reason I actually feel very very sorry for them.
Eyes are not simply useful for portraying attraction, interest, or passionate desire. They give us direction. They allow us to process information about our environment.Along with that, eyes are a central part of self-expression and emotion. Our tears come from our eyes; the only other part of the body that shows sadness so effectively might be the voice. We show our anger, distress, love, and happiness primarily through our eyes. Eyes aren't called 'windows of the soul' for nothing; they show what a person is truly thinking and feeling.
This is partly why I find them so beautiful. When I look into someone's eyes, I feel like I truly am looking at the person as they are, not as they appear to be. Everything else may grow old and wrinkled and lose its shine, but when the eyes are opened, the person is seen as they are and always have been.
Of course, a woman's figure is not quite so compelling and soul-searching as her eyes may be, but it still has a dual-purpose. We use our entire body to live, breath, and function as human beings. We use it to communicate how we feel; step back from someone next time they are talking to you. They'll ask you why you don't like them.
Here is where I state my point. For the sake of tying everything in together, if Roy Kim was having a great day, and decided to smile at me, would I immediately begin lusting after him? Probably not. I hope I would make a human connection with him, and I would smile back.
Now, if Roy gives me a seductive expression, do I have the right to call him on it? Of course. He is wordlessly suggesting something inappropriate, and he needs to be told to stop. Most likely he knows what he's doing. Human beings aren't unaware of the messages their eyes are sending to other people.
Does his ability to wear the latter expression mean he needs to wear sunglasses constantly?
A woman's body is the same as a man's eyes are (at least to me). She will always have a figure that attracts men; God created her to be beautiful. This is something she cannot help. Yes, the way she dresses may change how many men view her. It doesn't take a genius to realize that dressing like a prostitute is going to put you in the same category as prostitutes in the minds of men (and probably most women, too). Wearing your underclothing to the beach is going to make people think about you in your underclothing, because you are in your underclothing, hello.
But when people start getting so caught up in what a woman wears, they forget how much the 'wordless language' matters. I have seen girls dressed in long skirts to hide their legs and baggy shirts that hide their waist and bust, but still they walked, talked, and touched the men around them in a way that showed their true intent was sexual. They were immodest when immodesty seemed impossible. However, we cannot be expected to start covering ourselves to the extent that not a part of our body is exposed. We need to be able to move, breath, and see. We need to be able to communicate our feelings via body language and facial expressions.
Modesty is a great issue, and it does indeed need to be adressed. But if we place all of our emphasis on clothing, as I pretended to place all of my emphasis on sunglasses in the opening of this post, we run a dangerous risk of becoming legalistic Christians. We also run the risk of rubbing shoulders and elbows with other religions that focus on supposed 'modesty' so much that their women are covered head to toe, stripping away their humanity, emotional expression, and in some instances, ability to function as human beings.
As a final note, God doesn't say for us to be constantly running and hiding from, or covering up, our sins. If a decently clothes woman with, most importantly, a modest attitude, is still giving a man trouble, then he needs to bring his burden before the Lord. We aren't perfect products; God is still working on us. There's nothing wrong with accepting that.
-Argentia Krystofel
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