Gatsby and the Orient

you'll regret
you'll regret making me
want to pull my skin
off my flesh, but sadly
my flesh would still
produce disgust in you
imagine your children
pale and large-eyed
poor babies
poor, poor you

i'm sorry but
what about me,
where am i supposed
to lay my head down
and sleep-deep
under the cold earth?
don't pretend
i'm not me,
chalky and blue
and pink and pale,
don't touch this body
if you despise it

i'll never give you
the things i thought to,
what a mess,
boy,
what a mess,
you could've been
my green light
on the other side
of the bay,
summertime, the
island, tea in the sunset,
by the ocean side

but i am not gatsby
the pacific will never be
an atlantic bay,
the world will never
grow smaller, we just
have to be stronger
and braver,
i will never be gatsby
shot dead for his cold lover,
and you,
you are too cold.