Me and Ne

wait.
...
i left the stove on
well the house is
gonna burn down
like that time i mistakenly
thought i was in love with my
best friend,
why is it always like this
i'm gonna fail again i can
just feel it, waiting for the elevator
the veranda might be
full of water,
i bet the pipes froze,
because i forgot to
turn on the water heater,
that'll cost me a thousand dollars
oh what will i do, my mother
thought i'd
do better,
and look at me,
first boyfriend
told me he wanted
to be steady,
we'll probably break up
over something like this
i can't stand people
who are too steadfast,
it's terrible
it's wonderful,
i know,
i believe, but
what if i become an artist
and move to the sea,
and sleep with that guy
who is twenty years
older than me, but seems
to know what i need,
but i need a pencil skirt,
maybe a lawyer?
be rich and prosper
in some new york suburb,
single at forty,
what a silly dream.
...
i think i forgot
to email my professor
for the recommendation letter
well that's just great,
i'm such a failure.

Extroverted Intuition (Ne) is the fourth and final function in the ISFJ functional stack. It's inferior, which means when it appears it can be hard for the ISFJ to understand.
I basically experienced Ne for most of my life as an emotion of doubt and worry over unclear future failures and near-paranoia, until around the age of 19 it became something like an insatiable taste for bizarre risks, mostly in the form of unrelated possible career choices and risky romantic exploits. I don't usually follow them through.
When I do, I scare my mom.
But it's usually kinda fun.
I won't sleep with anyone twenty years older than me, I promise.
Or become a lawyer. I think?
I know Ne can also manifest in intuitive conversations. I can cover that later...maybe. Haha.