Monday, September 26, 2011

Now I'm Not So Sure...


That moment when I realized that their ending would never be one which was happy. Like some tragic half-hint of a love story that died before it had a chance to even begin; like a never spoken secret that was buried beneath tears of fear, guilt and questions; like a rose, budded, but snipped, their story fell to the ground; potential it had, but there was never a way it could have happened.

As a writer, I feel that their story is one I would never accomplish without a little help. I want to continue on my own, filling in the void that I know will haunt me on rainy October nights, but I cannot. If I write it wrong, I'll never get over it. I have an attraction to happy endings. As is such, I keep thinking of all the possible messes I could turn a good story into. This story into. So I stand here, thinking I learned something from her, but in reality I learned nothing. I'm still waiting, waiting on something, to make the ending.
The times for me to truly be equal enough to finish are gone, slipping like a sly fox through the underbrush, out of my sight, though etched upon my mind in permanent ink. I accepted the fact that I would have to wait for my ending. Some how I trusted that I wouldn't wait long.
Now I'm going to wait forever. I can look back, or forward, wonderstruck, as if somehow this is a story that needs told to people, but really, it's just a story, just a little scribble in the middle of the night.
But it's THEIR story...it's the best story. It's been mulled over, fought over, grumbled over. In other words, it's received the unofficial declaration of true writing.
What kind of a writer am I to not fight for it?

5 comments:

Hannah Leigh said...

Can you explain this one to me? It's so pretty - but I'm having a hard time seeing the ink behind it.

Argentia Krystofel said...

@Hannah-Thanks for you interest! XD People don't normally take interest in these ones.
It's about stories and characters that I've collaborated with friends on, but the friends who appeared to really be inspired by the characters and writing at the beginning have piled lots of other responsibilities around themselves and forgotten the writing as if it isn't important. I still want to finish these stories-these characters lives. But they don't want to, so I'm stuck! Plus, they had some great ideas that I want to include, but I don't want to steal their ideas. XD

-Argentia

Hannah Leigh said...

AhHA! That's what I thought. I just wasn't sure. ^.^ It's good, though!

Cylleruion Gwaithovorn said...

Is this referring to what i think it is? :)

Argentia Krystofel said...

@ Cylleruion-I don't know...it depends upon what you *think* it's referring to...