Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The Day My 4.0 GPA Went Far Away~

Yesterday was a big deal for me. I got my last history test in and found out that I scored a 65. Yeah. I was so upset I cried, which probably sounds weird, but I'm a perfectionist. My dad's a history major. I felt like I had failed myself, failed my dad, and failed the whole course.
 Obviously, this wasn't the case as I'm still enrolled in History 121 and I'm still an A average student. I suppose God wanted to send me a wake-up call. I need to balance. Balance everything; time, energy, and emotions.
 It rained that day. I waited for mom in the library, and I stared out at the dreary campus. I felt pretty bad; I knew I was going to have to tell her about that awful grade. I thought about how I was going to do it; I tried planning the whole thing, but in the end, the fact blurted from my mouth too quickly for me to stop it. The same thing happened on the phone with my friend afterwards, and I just started to cry my eyes out. I never failed a history test before-not once. I hadn't recieved my grades for the past two tests beforehand due to my vacation absence, and I was so worried I couldn't stop myself. Hannah, you were so sweet to me on the phone yesterday, I can't thank you enough. You listened to me blubber on and on and you were still encouraging to me!^^
 Either way, I got my previous quiz results back and realized the world wasn't ending. God knew what he was doing for me, I guess. I feel better now; strangely better.
 That evening I went walking after my night class. The rain began again, pattering softly on my umbrella, touching the leaves and the pavement. Water gathered in pools, reflecting the blue-ish and yellow-ish lights. Fog settled around, and not another person could be heard even speaking, because not another person was there. Just the swish of the cars, the falling rain, the blustering wind and my own footsteps-clomp, clomp, clomp-against the pavement. In that moment, I decided school wasn't so bad. I stopped hating the campus, the people, and the buildings. I stopped hating the pavement and the red and white umbrellas at the snack tables. I cleared my mind and I felt like an adult for an instant.
 I walked back and forth and sang this song...it was truly beautiful and I just felt extremely happy.
Hopefully, I can keep this attitude up. In no way does this moment on campus or this history grade mean I will stop despising a certain professor, or suffering through my computer class, but maybe I'll survive till this spring without dropping any classes.

This is yet another magical song that I've been listening to recently. 그 칵스, or THE KOXX are a Korean Indie-rock group that I've recently taken a liking to listening to. Their outrageous English does get on my nerves sometimes, though.

Enjoy your evening-I'm off to read more American History. XD

To a positive attitude in Christ, 화이팅!

-Argentia

2 comments:

Timeless Trinkets said...

Awww, it will get better. I'm very proud of you! You've worked very hard this year.

Hannah Leigh said...

You'll do fine! Keep fighting! (And yesh... I visited. ^_^)

Love you!
- hannah

YOLO. ;)