Metaphysical Affection

that one night
vacuuming dirty floors
the sound so loud
I couldn't hear their laughter,
tears welled up
at your pictures,
I secretly kept on my phone
(for strength, for
fighting all the hardship--
damn it)
I believed
you were no better than
all the other guys
who said terrible things and
opened my eyes---
and my eyes were so wide
I didn't know how to close them,
because of that night
it's true,
I hated you too
and sometimes I still do,
whatever, maybe
you're better than
that stupid idiot in the kitchen
swearing and listing
all the explicit things I've
never ever wanted to do,
I know it seems strange,
maybe I'm not normal,
love is pretty
it floats around freely
without commitments
and from afar
love is metaphysical
affection over telephone wires
and radio signals,
love is the words we type with
fingers which have touched
merely once,
perhaps by accident.