Taking Sides

Taking sides
is saying I either
hate you or hate myself,
based on tenderness
I've never quite believed in,
when I was a kid I
didn't know the difference,
violence does nothing
for the child locked
up inside of me,
who still believes
that if I concede, and say
"fine, I'm part of the
systematic
unbeatable
undeniable
inextinguishable
fire of
pale bodies with blue veins."
then I must lay down
shut up
and stop breathing
these bleached words, and
so what?
the fighting still won't end,
I'd rather love myself
and love you
just because loving
has nothing
to do with my position
in the fallen world
we happen to live in.