Too Much Nostalgia

I read about those days
While thinking deeply
This morning

With bright eyes and warmth
With small dreams and beautiful faces
With big lights or quiet afternoons

I became like this a long time ago
It feels like eons have passed
Merely three years


Secret smiles, songs under my breath
Worthless hours became gold
The future was a distant haze

My soul has traveled miles from that time
I don't even recognize the past me
With your little drawings and stories

Your fairytales and wanderings
Your ideals and assumptions
Your simple dreams

I miss the soft breeze and the slow moments.


Author Note: All the feelings. Ahem, anyway, I was looking through old sketches today and I flashed back to my 2nd trip to New York City during the first week of May, 2010. It was warm that week, and the day we went in, the sun was shining on the city. Our visit was more enjoyable for me than any other I have ever taken-just myself and my grandmother. The city was beautiful for the first time to me, and when it began to rain, I'm sure everyone walking by thought my expression meant I'd lost $10K. I honestly just wanted a strawberry ice cream cone, more sunshine, a pretty summer hat, nice shoes, and that handsome guy from the wholesale jewelry shop to join us, and I'd be set for the next week. ^^ Those were the dreams and happiness of my fourteen year old self-not spectacular, but remarkably similar to me now. Treasuring small moments is my specialty, dreaming about the big picture has only to do with the millions of moments I know will complete it.
      Even more clear to me is the song I was singing quietly while driving back home, munching Doritos in a time when how much weight I gained was not an issue and no one wanted to share them with me because "you like spicy stuff too much, eat them and drink all the water you want to". The track in my mind was Dashboard Confessional's 'Stolen', and I'd recently fallen in hopeless love with it. When I finally reached my home, my best friends had planned the surprise of inviting me to see them, and so-back when I was mannerable and patient and always asked nicely of my mother to do things-I got to spend a few hours out under a big tree, green leaves swaying in the warm spring wind, critiquing my artwork and observing things. The entire week is a memory I think I might treasure until I die-or get altzheimers, of course. :P

-Argentia.

End of Name-A-Boyband

After much pestering of people, I recieved many names for my boyband (Mom's were the only voluntary ones, but whatever). I have not yet decided which name characterizes my defunct boyband, but the best ideas were some from my Mom. She recommended several names, which you may see in the comment to my blog. Mom actually looked over a site that lists a bunch of boyband names and drew her inspiration from those. Turns out boyband names are weird everywhere-not just in K-pop. You can find her name suggestions in the comments on my earlier Name-A-Boyband post. For now, here are my two favorites.

99c (for 99 degrees Celsius, the boiling point of water...hot)
GP-3 or 5 (Gentleman's Preference Three/Five...depending upon the number of members I choose)

Both names have the edgy feel to them that I want for my group, but I like 99c most right now. The reason being is that GP-3 sounds best to me over GP-5, but I want this to be a five-member boyband, so I'm going with 99c and using GP-3 for a younger, contemporary group. ^^ I like the other names that were suggested to me as well, and wish I had 10 boybands so I could write those names on paper. XD Sadly....I doubt I can handle 10 boybands, so for now it's just one.

Before anyone wonders, yes, Micky Yoochun is my preferred actor/face behind Haneul. It's not because he was previously part of TVXQ/DBSK, but because he's such a good actor and has such an emotional personality. As of choosing him, I can't seem to work the wrinkles out of Haneul, who is clinging to Yoochun like a piece of lint. :P


-Argentia

A Winter House

Wrapped in a flannel blanket and a snowman-print gown
Carefully listening to the quiet of the town
The last touch, last feeling...of a winter house

I wonder up at the dark sky in this precious moment
The long winter-so silent, so strong-is nearly spent
Three months is an eternity in the winter house

The little snowflakes have gathered, so closely together
Reminding me of birds, flocking with those of the same feather
Very much like people who are longing for the warmth of our winter house
 
Softly, to hide myself, I step on the creaky old boards
I gaze out at the dusty white snow without words
For a part of me longs to escape this ancient winter house

Yet here it is-comfortable, understood, and accepted
Stale, sleepy, and peacefully ended
Guarded from the world in my beloved winter house.

Name-A-Boy-Band!

Attention: Argentia is holding her first-ever 'Name-A-Boyband' Festival!

Hahaha, okay, no. XD

So, I have begun working on gathering ideas for I Became Hollow so that I can get past the prologue. Two of the key features of 'I Became Hollow' is a defunct boyband that Haneul used to be part of, and then the indie band that he quietly dreams of creating one day. I need names for them.

I'm honestly at a loss concerning the boyband, so if anyone who reads this post has any good ideas/is familiar with K-pop boybands and has some input, please comment or email me some name ideas. For reference, the boy-band was either three-member or five-member. The ages of the members at the time of debut were between 16 and 20, and the band had an image like U-KISS or INFINITE at debut. Pop, not hip-hop like Big Bang at debut and not bubble-pop/R&B like SHINee at debut. ^^ Be thoroughly confused, those who do not follow boybands! lol

As to the indie group, I'm thinking about naming it 'Milk Cake' after the Spanish dessert which Haneul likes, but I'm not sure. 'Aqua Afternoon' is another idea I have. So, input if you have any! Otherwise, stay as you are-quiet. :P

-Argentia

Falling Raindrops

Translucent; every image is distorted by you
Aimlessly marching, but seeking one direction
Down, down, down is your course
For nothing can comfort you

You were abandoned by those that held you
Warmed you and then chilled you
Deserted you without a single word
Only to engage in new persuits

Perhaps it is your revenge when you block my vision
You are so visionless and hopeless yourself
That you cling to anything, anyone, anyplace
For weak assurance

With a strange coldness, I sit by and watch you
Your journey painting the world a colorless gray
You are cold, and wet, and careless
There is nothing desirable about you

When the lights outside sparkle in you, I smile
You are a crystalline beauty under close inspection
Despite all of your sadness and loneliness
Please don't cry, for I love you.


-Argentia

Me?

I have those 'my gosh this is a huge world' moments, too.

 Right now, I feel like my best of words can't pin down my thoughts. The sky is so pale in these winter days, even though March has already begun. I wonder often about the future of things. I remember the night of my birthday just a few months ago in November, and I am simply curious when I think about myself.
 I like the quietness of the wintertime, but it's been eating away at me recently. I feel so restless and there are many questions that sit in the back of my mind unanswered for hours. It's aggravating to me how I am so willing to not concern myself with the question easily answered by research, but when a question that cannot be answered by research presents itself, I engage in a futile chase for my answer. Then, frustrated, I twiddle my thumbs and let my mind race over the possibilities when I should really just move on.


 Anyway...I have things to do.

-Argentia